Darling, Please Check The Window One More Time...A Story by prettyboy Dialogue only. Attempt at humour with little plot. First time posting my writing. “Oh but darling, please check the window one more time.” “I’ve already checked it once!” “Well that wasn’t really checking was it darling?” “What?” “Well, you see, you closed it and locked it once but you didn’t really check it did you?” “Ha ha, you see! You just said that I locked it! So I don’t need to check it!” “Well, darling, that doesn’t mean it, is locked. I mean, you think that you locked it, but what if it wasn’t locked properly?” “I know how to lock a window!” “What if, what if it became unlocked when you weren’t looking?” “How would it become unlocked?” “Well I don’t kn-“ “Is there a phantom? Should I be worried about a spirit?” “Darling, I don’t mea-“ “What brought this in anyway, you’ve never been so paranoid before?” “Well, Mrs Murphy down the road got her house broken into last week.” “Oh I see-“ “Her television and her radio were stolen.” “I am going to kill that Mrs Murphy, getting you all worked up like this.” “Oh darling, she was only warning me. She did notice how I sometimes like to sleep with the window open.” “Did she, did she now.” “So darling, will you check the widow now.” “What for?” “For the burglar darling, what I was just talking to you about!” “The burglar is not still around.” “But how do you know darling? How do you know how the twisted mind of a robber works?” “Well, he could be hiding in the forest couldn’t he darling?” “In the forest?” “Yes darling.” “What forest, there isn’t a forest around here!” “Well darling-“ “I mean, in the forest? Where did you get that one from?” “They always hide in the forest don’t they darling?” “Always? Always?? Was that on one of your soaps, was it?” “Oh darling, couldn’t you just check the window like I asked?” “What, may I ask, would the burglar steal from us?” “Well, you know, these people would steal anything.” “Anything, anything would they? What about an envelope? Cause that’s about all we own!” “Oh darling you exaggerate horribly!” “Oh darling.” “So again I ask, why would they steal from us?” “Well, darling, they don’t know that we don’t have much in the way of possessions.” “Oh I see, they can hide in an imaginary forest, but they don’t know that we are quite poor. Something that the whole town in well aware of.” “Darling, why can’t you just check the window?” “I just do not see the point.” “Oh please, darling dear it would put my mind at ease.” “I do not wish you to pay any mind to anything that Mrs Murphy says anymore.” “She doesn’t mean anything.” “Oh no, she doesn’t mean anything when she fills your head with silly little ideas.” “They’re not silly.” “Oh?” “Last week on that police show there was a serial burglar.” “So it’s not Mrs Murphy telling you this nonsense, it’s the blasted TV.” “Oh darling, couldn’t you just check the window?” “I am very glad we don’t have one now, that the only thing of any value in this house is the desk lamp.” “Oh please, it won’t take a second, and I won’t watch that police show anymore.” “…you promise?” “Oh, of course darling, of course! I never break my word you know.” “OK, but then that’s the end of it. I don’t want to hear anymore nonsense from you.” …. “OK, it’s done.” “It was locked?” “Of course it was, just like I was telling you.” “Good, I do feel much better now darling.” “Good.” … “…Darling.” “…Yes?” “Couldn’t you just check the kitchen window? I am so frightfully nervous that I left it open.” © 2012 prettyboyAuthor's Note
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