The Telephone Diaries: Pt. 2

.prior to you.

I moved away from home on a steamy August day to attend a high- priced university alongside my best friend of thirteen years. I came to learn, to better myself through education, and to do what every eighteen-year-old wants to do- live the college life.

From the moment I stepped onto the pavement outside the dormitory where I would spend the next year of my life, I could feel my passion, my soul slipping away. Something wasn’t right in my head. I made friends fairly easily. Some girls, some boys, but none intriguing enough to exist in the circle of people I have surrounded myself since adolescence. One girl, Jessica, made it a point to be overly friendly towards me in an evening geology class. We talked and had absolutely nothing in common besides the fact that we were both freshmen. She had one advantage over me, she was a native of the area. I took to her hoping she could introduce me to boys and interesting places around the city. The girl seemed to refuse to fill out my best friend application. She just filled the position on her own. Immediately following our introductions, we exchanged phone numbers, and made plans to go out somewhere the upcoming weekend.

And that’s when I met you. Damp, musty club with a cliché name in this small college town that held too many. I had never before ventured into this hormonal jungle, but for lack of better things to do I agreed. Jessica dragged me there, in her overly tight outfit. Fitting in perfectly with the other whoring college-ites. Unfortunately , so did I taking my cues from my newfound accomplice.

Since 12 I found it normal to drink with my Dad on the weekends. Only in the house. Now the scenery was far from home. Shot after shot our inhibitions blocked. Blurry eyelids couldn’t keep me from spotting the blonde god. Fearless . . . I would like to thank alcohol for bestowing upon me this enthralling emotion.

Before the move I had only had one. He was my first and last, but I was finished being empty. I needed that warmth. The kind only a certain touch, a particular charm could give. I approached, and both of you stared at me. Gawking. A first for me. Conversation was easy and we bonded immediately. I remembered being left alone with your best friend. Testing. I passed, but it was inevitable. You two were much older than I come to find out, and I was gold. Unattainable until that moment. The power surged within me. Into your arms I strode and back to your apartment we went. Confidence multiplied. The talking. The teaching. The dog. And so the journey began.

 

 

Those two weeks I had learned. I learned not to get anxious. No dwelling. Settling was definitely a not. This time I would hold firm. Laminate my paper heart. This is what girls were supposed to do right? Play hard. Chasing and running. I could do this. Be the winner I had never been before. By the time you called I had talked myself into denial. Stiff and flat I put up that wall. The one I mistakenly let down for you that night. How could I have been so stupid to bleed out my insides and to a man of such mystery? This was the game wasn’t? I screamed internally. All you got out of me was one- word answers. That was until you began to cry. Low blow. To you or me? I think we both lost that night. You with your intense problems and me coming to your rescue.

         The fire within me burns presently knowing that you knew I would get into your car that night. I wanted to please you yet I was trying to hold back. Restrained I listened to your prolonged story. Pretended to halfway care. Was this what I was supposed to do? How I was supposed to act to keep you? Didn’t matter. You felt the same as I deep down. Only I didn’t know at the time. I was sober, but due to several beers a fight broke out. You had to hit someone or maybe they hit you. My ears weren’t listening, my eyes were the ones staring lovingly at your distraught features. I melted once again. Retreating back into the same apartment, I fell prey to your lips. My plan had spiraled backwards.

 

Reviews

[Blackbirdsong]

You really have created this whole scene while well...I can see the crowd at the party and imagine the sounds of loud voices and laughter, even though you don't really describe it...it's still there. Again I love the conversational, easy flow of your writing. First person narrative isn't always easy, but you do it quite well.

Some sentence fragments that stuck out to me -

Now the scenery was far from.

How could I have been so stupid to bleed out my insides? And to a man of such mystery.

To you, all you got out of me was one- word answers. That was until you began to cry.

Some really good work on this and the previous entry.

[Marie]

Great. Again, it felt and read as though it was thought out. Flowed well and I loved the tone.