Nothing Could Be More Perfect

Have you ever craved physical connection so deeply?

The gentle feeling of his hands upon your skin and the warmth radiating form his body.

Nothing could be more perfect.

The thought of his touch sends chills down your spine.

You wish for his loving caress along your body, his pressed against yours.

Nothing could be more perfect.

You long for him, all of him.

The beauty, the passion, oh how you fantasise this.

Nothing could be more perfect.

The desire so deep, so powerful it burns underwater.

He is a masterpiece awaiting to be studied.

He is perfect.

Reviews

[Darcy]

I like this one Phoebe! You describe the feeling that many can relate to so accurately. What inspires you to write like this? It’s a great source of motivation for your writing and you’re producing some delicate pieces. Keep it up, I can see you going far.

[Phoebe Taylor]

Thank you so much Darcy! This means a lot.

[Duncan Brown]

Love love love...................................................................................................................................................as

[Nigel Newman]

Nice work Phoebe, but take it from me, he's far from perfect!

I like the repetition and how this links to the title. I like the way you start with a question and use 'you' throughout. I think this really brings the reader in. I also quite like the simplicity and brevity - there's no extraneous bits here - it says what you want (very well) without distractions. I slightly hesitate because I bet, in your head, you can describe the place, the weather, the sounds from outside, etc etc, and some of these probably contribute significantly to the feeling of perfection. For me, it would probably be late afternoon dappled golden sunlight and maybe the sound of lapping waves in the distance - the room would be quiet. So back to me hesitation, which is that you might have broadened the description of perfection to encompass such aspects, but maybe I'm describing my perfection rather than yours! As it stands, however, I think the brevity works very well.

It's my habit to point out tiny glitches and grammatical type things, so here goes:
- 2nd line says 'form' when you presumably intend it to be 'from'
- 'awaiting to be studied'; it's either 'waiting to be studied' or 'awaiting study'
I only mention these because, for me, they interrupt the flow of what is otherwise a lovely poem. Nice work!

Nigel

[Phoebe Taylor]

Thank you very much Nigel! I really appreciate your constructive review. Often when we type things ourselves we tend to miss the small errors and only notice them once they've been pointed out by someone else, so thank you. And thanks again for your kind and encouraging words.

[KCthelastboyscout]

No man is an island.apparently no woman either.we all need the physical presence of another to avoid loneliness. Nice job describing the hunger inside that needs to satisfied

[emipoemi]

I can't quite relate to this entirely, not being a female and all, but I quite enjoyed the sound and flow of this. Very vivid and strong imagery in a short and sweet narrative that contains a superb musicality. Essentially if all the masculine pronouns were switched to feminine, it would almost reflect the present state of my life right now. Well done!

[Phoebe Taylor]

Thank you so much for your review!

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.