Stranger

A brand new song about a friendly stranger I never got to know...

Left burning

Tired and hurting for affection.

I catch your eye in shock,

And I can’t turn away.

 

Feel the glass chill up my spine

And my fingertips shake.

 

And she can never know.

Cause that will be the end.

Cause when I run

I’ll look to find your arms again.

 

 

Stranger,

What have you done?

I quiver to your image

And kneel to your song.

 

I seek,

Blind behind these brown eyes.

Your breathe the perfect fit

For the open heart void.

 

Scent to drive my sense crazy;

Soft wind from rapids raging.

 

A pain to think

So I strike you with my pen.

The truth hurts hard,

But I never know when;

 

 

Stranger,

What have you done?

I quiver to your image

And kneel to your song.

 

Your name makes me weak

With devotion at your altar.

Lovely stranger,

Lay yourself before me.

Reviews

[Blake]

I love it! I can definitely relate to this work of art!

[Shawn Purcell]

Thank you very much. It always feels good to have my work appreciated.

[E.V. Black]

Don't you hate when you meet a person? and then you must part? That is horrible! I've met many a wonderful person who I soon have to part ways with. Half the time, I never see them again! I can tell that you wanted to know everything about this person. Unfortunately, it wasn't possible for you to do. I can feel the loss within this song.

One suggestion I have is that you should make the font bigger. For me, it was difficult to read it. Perhaps size twelve or so. It should be readable enough so that I shouldn't squint.
Thank you for the great poem! I really enjoyed it.

[Alice Patinkin]

A deathly bewitching piece. :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Re-read at will for this one, it negates the edge of readers everywhere.

[NA]

Amazing with this one....I am sure many will relate to your words, I do....love it :)

[tuvi]

Nice song about a stranger who captured your heart. Just took me my work "Love at first sight".

"And she can never know.

Cause that will be the end.

Cause when I run

I’ll look to find your arms again. " ....

I like the !st line " and she can never know " its like u keep her discrete not making her aware its her ...then you flick back to " your arms " shows letting go and pulling harder ... I kinda liked that ...

Well written ..very enthralling is the feeling of seeing knowing in an instance that yes "this is the one"
:D nice poem ! keep up the work ...

[Shawn Purcell]

That line has caught a lot of attention. I love to read so many interpretations because it means a lot for me for my work to have meaning for someone else. I'm of the belief once you put something out there it's up to people to take it as they will, and do what they want with it...

Love at first sight would definitely be a great way to describe it. The idea of her being a "forbidden fruit" of sorts lingers over the piece, I think. I appreciate your reviews soo much

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nice song about a stranger who captured your heart. Just like what others say "Love at first sight".

"And she can never know.
Cause that will be the end.
Cause when I run
I’ll look to find your arms again." ----You have the 1st and 2nd person point of view in general, so I find the first line to be "out of tune" with that pronoun "she". Could it be "And you will never know"?

Other than that, this is a wonderful piece. Good job!

[Shawn Purcell]

Hey! This line seems to catch a lot of attention. "The stranger" was actually a friend of someone the speaker of the song is dating so the first line is actually in the third person and shifts to the second person, but that's a great observation...

[Zahra]

Beautifully written song, liked it. Thanks for sharing