first love

first love

A Poem by LynLee

First Love

 

 

I couldn't believe it,

he had said the words,

and typed the words,

All I could do was sit there,

frozen,

like a statue in a snow storm,

my body grew numb,

what do I say?,

What do I do?,

Do I love him back?,

Is any of this true?

I could only think of one thing to do,

I walked.

I walked to him,

I stood in front of him,

I pulled him to me,

And I said,

"I love you too.''


© 2010 LynLee



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

this was AMAZING!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I thought your poem was, at the risk of sounding like a mindless sheep, sweet. However, I did see one thing that made the reading a little disjointed. It was all that punctuation. It was hard to read because of the fact that I constantly had to stop after every few words due to all the commas and periods. I get what you were doing with the formatting of the poem, but constantly having to stop like that essentially all but eliminated the overall emotion of your work. Otherwise, I liked your poem a lot. Nice work. :D

Posted 7 Years Ago


How sweet! Ah I remember saying those words to people, they were always said with such apprehension.
Thanks for sharing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Aww..thats cute...i cant relate personally..but i can imagen that thats how it happens.

Posted 7 Years Ago


How sweet xD Nifty work, very cute.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I can relate to the feeling. When someone is so genuine, and when you don't expect it, you pause for a moment and think, "Did this just happen." And you're so careful with what you say back, because emotions are so delicate.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I really like this, has emotion to it (though I'm not sure you've felt this, you Are twelve). Good poem.
Oh and btw, you don't have to put commas after every line.

Posted 7 Years Ago


i like this one! this is good (although,you don't need the commas after the ?s)
well done! :-)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Yes... speak heart.. and more heart.. and never stop.. being a heart that beats with love.. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Posted 7 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
X
aww, short and sweet. cool, now i might write a love poem lol

Posted 7 Years Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1589 Views
65 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on April 4, 2010
Last Updated on May 19, 2010

Author

LynLee
LynLee

Where I am free, VA



About
Hola, me llamo LynLee. De donde es Earth. Me cumpleanos es Noviembre 24. Me gusta es escribir. Sorry had to practice my spanish somewhere. I'm LynLee. I'm fourteen and I am a writer. My best frien.. more..

Writing
Believe Believe

A Poem by LynLee


Dark sunset Dark sunset

A Poem by LynLee



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..