The Drunk Driver

She was drinking at a party
On a raging New Year's Eve
She had to be home early
She knew she had to leave

"Honey do you need a ride"
Her boyfriend sweetly said
She just smiled back at him
And quickly shook her head

"I've got to leave right now
So I'll just take my car...
But don't you worry, sweetheart
Cause I won't drive too far"

Unaware she'd been drinking,
He watched her drive away
She knew that this was wrong
But she did it anyway

"I only had a couple drinks
I know that I'll survive"
She kept saying in her head
As she went for this short drive

The alcohol took over her
She wasn't thinking straight
She assumed that there was no one
Who'd be driving out this late

She ran all of the stop lights
As she sped along the road
Never thinking of the pain
This night would soon behold

But out of nowhere, came a car
She screamed as headlights flashed
She flew out of the windshield
As both of their cars crashed

She woke up laying on the ground
Sirens screaming in the night
She was bleeding quite a bit
But she knew she'd be alright

With dread, she saw the other car
That had rolled down the hill
She knew this was her fault
As she started feeling ill

But when she saw the body
Tears started falling down
As she looked down to find
Her dead boyfriend on the ground

Author's Note

Ignore grammer mistakes

Reviews

[kimmy]

Oh this was a great poem..This is something everyone should read..Never drink and drive, I found myself holding my breath while reading this..I didn't think that was going to be the ending, but that had to be worse. Knowing you were drinking, speeding, and running the lights and you killed your boyfriend. This was so sad, but I loved it at the same time.
Great job on this piece,

[Amber]

Thank you so much. This happens every day. Maybe not their boyfriend, but to someone innocent. Thanks for the review! :)

[kimmy]

You are very welcome..Yes it does happen way to often and there is no reason since there are cabs, friends, and family. I wish they would think about them before driving drunk.

[Amber]

Me too. The world is in such a mess. For all kinds of different reasons. I hope things get better soon. :/

[Linda Adkins Chandanais]

Great message, a surprise ending, I like it a lot .

[David Ransom]

Wow, never saw that last stanza coming. As one of many people who have lost a friend to drunk driving I can say this poem is as poignant as its topic. Extremely well done.
If I had to come up with a note on how to improve. I could only think of the metric flow. When read aloud you've obviously given it momentum simply by meter of each line through the first two stanzas, however it stutter steps in the third, fourth (but only on the first line), sixth (again just the 1st), eighth (last line), and then the last stanza slows in its final two lines.
I would think there would be three thoughts on this flow reasoning (perhaps more that I haven't thought of):
1. You could stick with what you've got because of word preference in the affected lines. This would in no way detract from what you've written (as I mentioned before it is well written and still very poignant despite).
2. You could progressively exaggerate the metric stutter to parallel the effects of the alcohol (though I think you would be changing your style to do so, but it could be a fun exercise for a meter to mimic the action of a text), and the slowing of the meter at the end could work to as the reality of her situation dawns on her. It's an intriguing idea for stylistic choice in my mind at least. If you had intended this you may want to make it a little more pronounced.
3. Or you could edit so as to stick with the flow you set up in the beginning stanzas (For the most part your changes needed to do so would be minor, for example this could be as simple as flipping or combining two words as in the first line of the sixth stanza: so going from "The alcohol took over her" to either The alcohol overtook her, or The alcohol took her over. Of those choices I'd go with the alcohol overtook her. It maintains original word choice improves the meter and it flows off the tongue a little smoother as you read it aloud).
Hope those thoughts allow you to look at your work with fresh eyes. Again great job!