Prologue: Baptism

Introduction to the story of the Acolytes against the Apocalypse, a young man views their sermon wishing to discover more.

Late on an especially cold summer night in an especially barren patch of land a large candy-striped tent stood erect, billowing in the wind.  This was the travelling home of the Acolytes against the Apocalypse.  Inside were countless men, most disguised by the deep dark only three could be fully seen.  Two of them on the platform and the third a considerably smaller man was standing below them where he’d sat in a folding chair earlier that day.  Between them and the stage was a black, barrel simmering with a neon glow.  The rest of the tent was filled with little translucent patches of light that looked like fireflies.  It was the glowing orbs of countless eyes that surrounded them in the distance.

On the ground looking up at the two leaders of the AAA was Trent Simons, a young local who had been thrilled by their earlier presentation.  Trent was by no means dim-witted, but he had never been able to find a space to fit in his community, or family.  The Preacher’s sermon had made this clearer than he had ever been able to consciously recognize.  Famished for more information he came back under the cloak of darkness in an attempt to discover more.

“So, my child you wish to join the ranks gathered around you, who also desired wisdom beyond the banalities of their primary incarnation?” asked the shadowy figure standing closest to Trent.

“Uhhhh, not really; the service just really spoke to me.  I wanted to ask you fellas if you need an extra pair of hands on the road.”

“We always accept new disciples with open arms.  Tell us about yourself son, what aspects of the Acolytes entice you most?”

“Well, I guess mainly because you told us so much about our potential, and how we all leave it bottled up to rot and die in towns like this.  Never was much for school never found a job that I hated as much as it did me; y’all just seem to understand how I feel.”

The man in front stood silent for a moment, and then responded, “A reaction we tend to yield all too often, no matter where we set up.  Though you are the only one to approach us tonight, we hunger for young individuals as open minded as yourself.”  He looked back at the third sitting man who nodded, then continued, “We always supply a safe haven to those who do not quite fit into the jigsaw puzzle that is modern society.  Tell The Master and myself about your family, boy.”

“Nothing more to really tell I’m in the middle of a family with seven others, and never really been the apple of anybody’s eye.  I do love them…try my best to make them proud, but as my good old pop always says ‘mediocrity should be my middle name’.”

“’Mediocrity’ is a broad concept generally utilized by those who have resigned themselves to a single vocation.  Here, we focus like you said on harnessing the untapped potential of our disciples.  Who also like you discover strength beyond anything they could have believed possible.  Not only through the power of the body, but also of the mind.  We act as separate Acolytes, while remaining one solid, divine Legion.”

At this the silent, sitting man stood and slowly walked until he was next to his silver-tongued servant.  He wore a finely tailored suit jacket with a bolo tie in place of his clerical collar.  As well as sunglasses two glowing orbs shining under the lenses, he finally spoke.  “So, boy you wish to become one with the initiated?”

The words seemed to bring the bubbling barrel of neon liquid and foreboding glowing orbs in the distance to Trent’s immediate attention.  Almost forcing him to turn tail, and run until he was back snuggled in his cot inside the tiny shack he called home.  Instead he choked up, answering in the affirmative.  Almost automatically two sets of arms grabbed each of his, and began to carry him closer to the giant cask which grew more sinister the closer he got.  Before he could snap himself back to reality, Trent was lifted and fully submerged into the liquid.  After he finally finished resisting, Trent slowly pulled himself up from the ooze.  His eyes shining with a luminescent glow through the pitch black tent. 

Reviews

[M.R Steiner]

well this was an interesting read. you have a much better handle of your prose than I do, that's for sure. unfortunately I can only give my amatuer opinion of the reading expiereince, on that level however I found it quite enjoyable. it was really REALLY easy to follow along and your wordplay was awesome. my only complaint may be that its a tiny bit heavy on the adjectives/verbs, but other than that it seems to have that cleanly drafted manner about it. I could be wrong but either way like I said, it was interesting and right to the point.

on story: the Acolytes role and ritual that transforms your main character is well thought out, that being said I may say that a tiny flash back or a sense recollects thought sequence could explain your main character's feelings more than the dialogue sequence. again just my amatuer opinion so take any suggestion with a grain of salt.

overall this is pretty marvelous to me.

would love to get your opinion on an effort I'm rewriting, it's a mixture of frankenstein and reanimator.

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/couincilmanZero/1823702/

[PWyates]

Thanks man! I really appreciate the concise feedback.