The empty train

I tryed to talk

to express my feelings

I tried really hard..

I just couldn't

 

So i stepped in this empty train

and locked the doors behind me

Even though I got lonely

I had never felt so safe

 

Sometimes people knocked on the windows

trying to break the glass

and I would wave at them

just to let them stop knocking

 

When I stared at those poeple

I knew they felt better than I ever did

but I couldn't get out

I was to scared

 

But there was God's hand

reaching out for me

I grabbed it and he pulled me out

I was no longer afraid to talk...

Author's Note

i wanna thank the people who never stopped knocking on the windows..
and i'm forever thankful to God, cause he helpt me out of it

Reviews

[Kevin Chelsea]

I think this one should stay the way it is now. The opening line and the last one fit together so well. To change it would be trying to move people's focus to the trouble or problem that chased you into the train. But the way it reads now, the feeling of being scared to talk is portrayed so much more by the simple misspelling of "tryed".

People who write would try forever to convey a thing as finding it hard to speak, when you managed to say it with just one little word. Then that carries through the poem so well. I'd say to leave it exactly as it is. Being scared to talk is sometimes finding it hard to talk.

[EILEEN McGUINNESS]

A very profound piece of poetry you have written from real life experience i am guessing here, dank u for sharing i am very sorry to hear that you had this traumatic experience and only wished that i had been there as i would have come to your aid.
So are you from holland or belgium?
i am currently residing in utrecht to attend an aunts funeral i have dutch cousins on my mothers side.
nek
My dear friend MANOOSH SPEAKS AND WRITES DUTCH i think you two would get on famously.

[Melissa Rose]

Not to be a total mood killer, but first i think you need to look at your grammar; it should be "tried" instead of "tryed" in the first stanza. Also, in the second stanza, it should be "safe" as opposed to "save", I'm guessing because "save" doesn't read well. Last, make sure to be consistent with the capitalization of the word "I". Other than that, I feel that this has a really nice message and very strong meaning to it!

[Expression]

Wow... I get what you mean...