Finding Me

Pull me up inside your arms,
Hold me till I fall apart,
Search inside me,  search my mind;
Open my heart with your chocolate eyes

Love, who do you think you’ll find?
Travel my oceans, trace my lines,
Press yourself down into me;
Part of you is who I’ll be.

Author's Note

Share your thoughts! I need constructive criticism and feedback ASAP!

Reviews

[zainul]

Nice work

[Qavah Simchah]

Thank you! Anything specific you like about it?

[zainul]

Well,I have a couple of points.
I will share them later.
Let other writers put their reviews.

[Qavah Simchah]

OK. Feel free to private message me

[zainul]

OK

[Chance]

Great write but I would have liked to see the other "take a part of me" after all that happened in th first stanza.
Thanks for sharing

[Qavah Simchah]

Thanks! By "the other" do you mean the person whom the persona of the poem is speaking to (known as "Love")? You want a stanza from his/her perspective?

[Chance]

Yeah but I am just a tug-0-war dialog (internal or external) junkie. I think its great the way it is.
I was invited to participate in a collaborative project group and until this moment I could not see how that would work but now I think it might be fun.

[Qavah Simchah]

Dialogue is a great idea. :) Hope you have fun on your collaborative project!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poem. Good thoughts and emotion leading the reader to a story of love and need. I like the complete poem. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Qavah Simchah]

Thank you so much!

[DrD]

I'm surprised this has not been reviewed earlier and I am pleased to be the first. I thought the sensual nature of your writing oozes out captures this monumental commitment to anyone who would capture your heart. I like your work. Keep at it.

[Qavah Simchah]

Thank you, DrD!