Alone

do take the time to watch the dance video ..it is so cool...says i! ;)

 Peering

The pair pirouettes on

                                  the pier.

The lightning wasn't quite right

             

they

couldn't quite focus on point.

I am not sure what happened to them.

They just kept spinning 

on their own

in the mist.

                      Alone

10/15/2017

E

Author's Note

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I like the alliterations in the first part. Also the fragmented structuring, it reads nicely. As per the content, it's dreamily beautiful. A lovely read, Einstein. (:

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for reviewing Doc! did you watch the dancers? ;)
E.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome :) tbh I'm not much into dancing videos but I watched this one just now ;) it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing here :))

[Einstein Noodle]

every time i come back to this one i have to watch it again...i think they are superb ..water and stone ..how cool :)

[lightsong]

That was lovely and softly magical to read, when I read the title I wasn't expecting this, but what a sweet surprise I had :) when lovers join into one, they will drift into their world, no matter where they are... I don't know but Your pair made me think of "lightning and thunder" pair :) thank You*

[Einstein Noodle]

your impressions are so cool..i could not ask for more..thank you so much for visiting and reviewing .. such an important part of growing here at the cafe ..at least that is what i think ;)
E.

[lightsong]

Of course it's! You are warmly welcome :)

[J. J. Nightingale]

A fun read... we see them spin.. and wonder where and how they are.. off in a mist..hidden, showing off their talent beyond our view...

Interesting..

Jazzy

[Einstein Noodle]

yes! one can fill in as seems right ;) or not :)) thank you again for visiting and letting me know you thoughts ..much appreciated JJ
E.

[J. J. Nightingale]

You are welcome !!!.................J.J...:)....

[i am LiLy]

really nice...I love the way you write and how you lay out your versed points highlighted by individual words.....and broken their by their strength although the word alone is maybe not such a powerful word....

I was criticised recently because my poems are not fit into a structure of standards poem..
but to me poetry or even just words are my art inner that I produce wit no rules and It is for no one else.....i can except comments ect .....but it's my achievement to put my emotion into words......it's not my concern if you don't like the confusion of my life you see through those words.....I'm not here to conform.

this poem is great so fast and deep and powerful....I love it my friend.

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhh thank you so much for your encouragement ..free verse is what i am most comfortable with tho i do try classic forms now and then just to have a point to rebel from ;)) i love how you focus on the words and their strength or not .. i agree with you about poetry and self expression .. it can be very personal and opinions will always vary .. and that's ok eh!? so gratified you enjoyed reading Lily ... i appreciate you comments
E.

[Karen Redburn]

Wow, two ships lost in the night comes to mind here. Too bad they were unable to find each other. Short, sweet and to the point. Excellent word economy in this one, gargantuan meaning.

[Einstein Noodle]

spot on interpretation Karen .. thanks so much for taking time to review .. peace and joy
E.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Nice poem! Musical words and I love the ending, dramatic. Tyfs!!!

[Einstein Noodle]

thanks for taking time Cyprian ... did you happen to catch the video? it came after the poem but every time i watch them dance it inspires ... anyway... thank you again for reviewing
E.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I saw the video, they're really nice dancers. :)

[SilverInk]

The fun combination of "p" words at the beginning was simple and complex at the same time, great job!

[Einstein Noodle]

i bothered over the "p" words and in the end decided to keep them ..i appreciate you have pointed them out .. and gratified you like it .. see you around Silverink ;)
E.

[Muse]

I adore your trippy word play. If you haven't already noticed I'm a big fan of playing with my words. I mean why not? Some of the best writing are when you let go of structure. That's when the true original form of your thoughts take action. I see so many writers fall into structure. They are rigid and prudish...scared to try anything new. And I want to ask them, why even write? It's like only drawing in back and white. Why wouldn't the artist be curious about other mediums. Words like art...can also be colorful. Well penned.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes...hear hear for free verse ... without any knowledge nor education it is the form i used at the start ... so deep dark times and difficult emotions pushed me to start writing .. it is the form that suites me best; but i have tried over the years to fit into different structures and be true to them...for me very challenging and a strong learning curve in completing ... but i am with you in the free verse bucket :) thanks Ms. Matches ... for taking time to read and review .. very much appreciate
E.

[barleygirl]

Love your play on words & the "p" sound at the beginning . . . then I really started to feel the spin & the aloneness of a solitary spin. I enjoyed your video & also (at this time of year, as the winter Olympics approach), I am an avid watcher of figure skating, which also imparts a similar spin sensation! I like the way your poetry spins my head around! *smile* Fondly Margie

[Einstein Noodle]

i was not sure about the "p" sounds ..but left them ;} .. yes...its the alone i was after .. thank you for you very kind words ... and kindred spirit Margie! .. the dance of those two captivates me every time i watch ... and the stone and water ...simply .... spectacular spectacular says i! .. thanks for reading wonderful one! :))
E.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Quite beautiful, both the poem and the video. Alone can be so many different things from serenity and peace to sadness and desperation. So much depends upon our perception or attitude. Bless.

[Einstein Noodle]

how true how true sir .. i love when i am drawn back to thisone by reviews as i watch the dancing all over again.....stone and water .. ;)
E.