The Beginning

The first section of what may someday end up to be a memoir of sorts

Sitting cross-legged on Daniel’s bed with a light breeze rustling the curtains, Phoenix’s 1901 vibrating softly through the Logitech speakers, and the muffled chatter of the 6^th floor creeping underneath the door. The clock flashes 11:34 p.m. on April 26, 2012. Spring has arrived in Berkeley, coinciding with my departure.

Everyone erupts in cheer; I snap back to reality. They’re playing some sort of video game on Jake’s TV but I never cared much for those sort of things. To be honest, I never cared much for any of this. Sitting here, with the people occupying the beds, the chairs, the desks, the floor of room 609, has led me to an important conclusion about my first year in Berkeley. I am impassive. I care about the things I do but I am not attached. I pay my dues but without the passion. I achieve what I set out to but devoid of value in my end results. Sometimes I feel like I’m not going anywhere with my life and that scares me. But the fear imprisons me; I become too paralyzed to move. Side to side. Laterally, I traverse the world that exists within my comfort zone. But I’m stuck, shackled to preconceptions, just inches away from my expectations.

I’m sorry. I’m rambling. I tend to ramble a lot. Talking myself around in circles, aiming for clarity but falling short of any substantial theory about how my life will end up. Despite my best efforts, I never accomplish more than whipping up some idealistic dream and composing some nonsense words that sound slightly philosophical because I used a thesaurus. And there I go, rambling again… My sincerest apologies.

I don’t quite have a story so bear with me. Just an average girl with an abstract aspiration to say something important, I herby invite you to join me as I attempt to turn my idle thoughts into something tangible. This is my process, my journey. I hate to be the cliché, ambitious teenager setting out to write a coming of age story but I think that’s what this is. I’ll keep you posted�"just read along.

Author's Note

Do I have something to work with here?