Sapphire Dreams

This one I wrote for a group. I hope you guys like it.:)

Saphir, you may be
A mere blue mist in my sea
Of rainbow-tinted dreams;
But I believe you are more than what you seem.

I walk with you
Towards the light
And lo and behold
I encounter quite a sight.

Never shall I forget you
Love, for you have made my nights
A tad more meaningful,
A bit more bright.

In the midst of slumber,
You wake my heart;
Hence, tonight until forever,
Your soul and mine shan't ever part.

Our inherent memories, dear,
Will never begin to cease.
The morrow may come, but my sleep, Saphir,
Only you can appease.

Author's Note

Just so you know, Saphir is French for sapphire. Also, just a bit of scientific info about the second stanza- on rare occasions, blue sapphires turn a different color (violet) when exposed to artificial light.

Reviews

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

Wonderful! This poem is an expression of luminary astonishment, such as a jeweler to his unique sapphire---same with a lover to his 'collection' perhaps?

If you haven't read my 'Dear Sapphire', this poem tackles the same theme and I'd love to know your comments on it,as we both delve the same path of thought. Wonderful write as always. I do wish you well, Rach!

-Lex :)

[JenLyn]

I loved it! The rhyme scheme is nice and not forced, the flow was excellent and I like that you used the French version of sapphire it gave the poem more flare in my opinion. My favorite stanza was...

"In the midst of slumber,
You wake my heart;
Hence, tonight until forever,
Your soul and mine shan't ever part."

Great write keep it up! :)

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Interesting dreams that you have..Keep the creative pen flowing. Sunflower

[Libby McKeown]

A tad more meaningful, a bit more bright. I really like these lines. The poem is very dreamy, and I like the fanciful image portrayed by your work. Great job! Thanks for sharing!

[Heather Marie]

The words and phrases are really well written, but this would work better as a free verse than something with rhymes. Some of the rhyming sounds a little forced and breaks the flow of your words. It's still a very good read, though =) If you workshopped it a little, it could be perfect.

[Ryan Adalem]

Unbelievable! Who knew that you had a silver pen? Even I, your friend didn't until now!

[SK Woodiwiss]

I really love those last four lines.
So mystical in appearance but straight forward and honest. That does not happen often and the work is something you should be proud of.
You have set up beautifully in the beginning - "more than what you seem" because the entire work seems to revolve around that them. You give us light and relationship but in a fantasy landscape - this done yes by the use of color but the feel of your language, "midst", "hence" "shan't" all words that bring about a more ancient time or another dimension that this relationship belongs to - very well done.

[Poetic Beauty]

This is a beautiful poem and I love the words you have choices. The emotion in this poem is completely conveyed clearly.

[Manda]

awww just wonderful!

[deeps]

This is a wonderful, write I like this alot.

[PaperHearts]

Amazing write! I loved your choice of words in this piece, and I felt like it really brought out the beauty in your poem. The subtlety of your writing style is something that I really admire, and I thought that it was perfectly reflected in this piece. Without the talent that you have, this write could have easily been overdone. :P This was an evocative, conceptual, pretty pretty pretty piece. :D
~PaperHearts