Momental Vision

I desire to grab my views attention for a spiritual and emotional connection. I feel that a successful piece should be moving, emotionally. Here's how to do it!

Overpowering, overwhelming engulfed with sincere works make you weep and wonder
about the futuristic inventions of 'morrow

(as you uncomfortably slumber)

you wonder of the insightful mind you shall face in the plunging sorrow

for peers will stare at you in negative light

I Rewrite till' my wrist grows tired 

with evident bruises

still the wide-eyed humans do not understand

the insightfulness you have experience at hand

works make you weary and proud

of your rightfully owned land

and for what you can ultimately stand

You forcibly fall onto your knees

begging the sun god's please

to erase the memories from reading in between the lines.

Author's Note

Was my goal successful?

Reviews

[Praveeta]

A lovely write. You did succeed :)

[James Hades]

Your goal was very successful. I personally saw much deeper than what you wrote and enjoyed where this piece took me. The whole of it orchestrates a deeper meaning to the reader, whether it's your rhyme scheme that can be seen as "precise but unpredictable" (wonder-slumber/morrow-sorrow then light out of nowhere)

[Saddam]

I Rewrite till' my wrist grows tired
with evident bruises
still the wide-eyed humans do not understand
the insightfulness you have experience at hand.
these lines I like more and more. fantastic, awsome piece is this of art. loveya.

[Tadej]

Thank you for inspiring me.

[Julie Spade]

XD You don't know how much of a smile you placed on my face while reading your comment! Thank You, Tadej. I will continue to inspire others and you !