Entrance in My Life

Entrance in My Life

A Poem by Raj Sahu
"

The poem is based on poet's love whom he always wishes from God and at last his wish is granted.

"


In the deserted lonely square,
In which the sad sand smear;
I was waiting for a saviour,
who would be my carrier.

My thirst of love was too severe,
That I want one to quench it mere.
And our Lord, the God; heard my wish
and granted it, which was too astonish.

Adorable and Admirable, Honest and Amiable
Decent, Kind and altogether Lovable.
And what qualities shall I reveal
as there are none to conceal.

Forlorn and Feeble was I,
and was taking a deep sigh.
But now there's delight and joy
with my love I will enjoy.

Far worse I had lived,
and for many things deprived.
But now I will love you my dear,
and I will get rid of fear.



© 2017 Raj Sahu



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This is my first attempt at slam poetry, and I'm excited to film a performance of this piece over the coming day.

Author's Note

Raj Sahu
Ignore Grammar Problems

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Featured Review

Very emotional and touching poem.

However, if you are going to go for rhyme, it also would make sense to match your meter, i.e. have similar numbers of syllables per line....

Or, rather go freestyle, and not rhyme at all.....and just let words flow.

I am looking forward to reading some of your other work. :)

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much. Really I am grateful to you. 😊😊



Reviews

Very touching and sentimental.. Lovely read. And please also check out some of my new writings as well. Thanks

Posted 3 Months Ago


Raj Sahu

3 Months Ago

Okay. I will. Thanks for your review.
You have an original and refreshing way of weaving and rhyming your words. It adds a lilt to the lines that is musical. Beautiful tribute to love that is God-given and saving. I loved the purity of this poem.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much. 😊😊
This piece is beautiful. The words you chose describe elequently the love you found in God. It is encouraging and lovely!
Tabby

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thank you very much. 😊😊
although you've put a note for ignoring grammatical errors, it is a part of the expression and cannot be dissected from a poem. it is very well accepted many a times, where poets introduce a new word or form their own but instead of ignoring your errors you should work upon them. Even I am not wholly aware of the grammar rules and i think no one is, but i tend to read books/novels because they help me imbibe english language more than any grammar book could.
(saying so because you have grammar issues in your second stanza)
this is just a suggestion.
nevertheless, you've got a hint of poet, specially the one we used to have in our textbooks :)

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thanks.
It is said ‘Your best friend will show you your real face.’
Thank you fo.. read more
Very emotional and touching poem.

However, if you are going to go for rhyme, it also would make sense to match your meter, i.e. have similar numbers of syllables per line....

Or, rather go freestyle, and not rhyme at all.....and just let words flow.

I am looking forward to reading some of your other work. :)

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thank you so much. Really I am grateful to you. 😊😊
This is really well written..i enjoyed

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thank you for your appreciation.
Excellent engaging writing, interesting and thought provoking, great work

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thanks a lot dear George. 😊😊
George Coombs

5 Months Ago

Your welcome
sweet sentiment,you found your love and lost your fear

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thanks dear.
I really liked the flow and rhythm of this poem. Very well written.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

5 Months Ago

Thank you very much.
Najam Us Saher

5 Months Ago

You're welcome ☺

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13 Reviews
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Added on May 4, 2017
Last Updated on May 10, 2017
Tags: Love, My Life, Entrance, Saviour, Forlorn, Amiable, Adorable

Author

Raj Sahu
Raj Sahu

Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India



About
😊😊 Hello everyone. Myself Raj Sahu, a 16 year old boy who is a servant of the God till his last breath. I write poems and thinks that in future I will try other writiings too. I also l.. more..

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