The Teacher

The Teacher

A Poem by Raj Sahu
"

This poem emphasizes on the features of a teacher.

"


An individual tries with numerous cries,
To make their future better.
But they make out the mockery,
With their gibberish talk and clatter.

He is that patient wick who never sick,
To being burned for other's sake.
'The frugal time will always flit'
Such teachings and statements he always make.

With many sights, various lives he lights,
An amicable and pleasant character.
He, who always follow impartiality,
Uplift the child in every sector.

I really bow before such a creature.
He is none other than a teacher.

© 2017 Raj Sahu



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Featured Review

I suggest you use smaller words and it would be better of every at least other sentence would rhyme. Try and go something like this:

He tries with a lot of cries,
for their better coming ahead lies,
but they mock and talk,
and in clatter they flock.


Posted 2 Weeks Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Days Ago

Thanks for your suggestions.



Reviews

It must be difficult to write something as nuanced as poetry in a language other that one's first. That said, I think you deserve special notice for trying to express a complex message in this way.

As another reviewer suggested, simpler words will likely ease the translation.

I have no idea of the meaning of the second stanza:

He is that patient wick who never sick,
To being burned for other's sake.
'The frugal time will always flit'
Such teachings and statements he always make.

It's apparent you have some important messages to relay. Please continue. It might be an excellent way to learn the subtleties of the English language.

Please rewrite this and resubmit. I'd like to understand the message better.


Posted 15 Hours Ago


Nice tribute to teachers. Thanks for sharing :)

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Days Ago

Thank you. 😊
You gave out a strong message through this.
The rhyme scheme works to an extent but I think it would be better if you put meaning first and then the scheme.
A moral read and thanks for sharing!

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Days Ago

Thank you dear. 😊
I really like this poem! I wasn't sure exactly you were going with it, but when I got to the end, it all fit together perfectly!!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Days Ago

Thank you dear. 😊
I suggest you use smaller words and it would be better of every at least other sentence would rhyme. Try and go something like this:

He tries with a lot of cries,
for their better coming ahead lies,
but they mock and talk,
and in clatter they flock.


Posted 2 Weeks Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Days Ago

Thanks for your suggestions.
This was beautiful. I have some teachers in my family!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you. Wish them from my side.
A wonderful description of a teacher. Your words positive and worthwhile. I did enjoy this poem. Thank you Raj for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you dear.
Coyote Poetry

2 Weeks Ago

You are welcome. This is what poetry support to be. Telling great story about wonderful people.
Raj Sahu

2 Weeks Ago

Yes, indeed.
Everyone life is born gifted with the teachers by means of MOM AND DAD

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Weeks Ago

Good! Thanks.
I definitely get your feelings of respect & honor, as if you're putting the teacher on a pedestal of life. I agree with many important observations: uplifting every child without bias (especially). Your way of writing comes from the heart, I know, but it sounds a little cerebral to me (not so poetic or loving or touchy-feelie). In future writings it might be fun to try expressing things with more warmth & affection . . . example: saying you want to give your teacher some (((HUGS))) -- this would be a contrast to "bowing down" as if the teacher is somewhat unapproachable.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Weeks Ago

Bowing down shows intense respect for teachers here in India.
Anyways, thanks for your sugges.. read more
barleygirl

1 Week Ago

Thanks for explaining the "bowing down" custom which is something we can learn from you here in the .. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
As a teacher myself, I thank you for writing this. Such kind words. Nice job.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you very much.

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362 Views
19 Reviews
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Added on September 1, 2017
Last Updated on September 28, 2017
Tags: Teacher, Sacrifice, Candle

Author

Raj Sahu
Raj Sahu

Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India



About
😊😊 Hello everyone. Myself Raj Sahu, a 16 year old boy who is a servant of the God till his last breath. I write poems and thinks that in future I will try other writiings too. I also l.. more..

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