The Teacher

The Teacher

A Poem by Raj Sahu
"

This poem emphasizes on the features of a teacher.

"


An individual tries with numerous cries,
To make their future better.
But they make out the mockery,
With their gibberish talk and clatter.

He is that patient wick who never sick,
To being burned for other's sake.
'The frugal time will always flit'
Such teachings and statements he always make.

With many sights, various lives he lights,
An amicable and pleasant character.
He, who always follow impartiality,
Uplift the child in every sector.

I really bow before such a creature.
He is none other than a teacher.

© 2017 Raj Sahu



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Featured Review

I suggest you use smaller words and it would be better of every at least other sentence would rhyme. Try and go something like this:

He tries with a lot of cries,
for their better coming ahead lies,
but they mock and talk,
and in clatter they flock.


Posted 4 Months Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Months Ago

Thanks for your suggestions.



Reviews

Nice ❤️ Maybe it needed more rhymes.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

1 Month Ago

Thank you.
Once again your work is great, no suprise really. A love the subject choice and it all just fell together really good :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Months Ago

Thank you very much.
I read this out loud , and it has nice flow to it. The rhymes are good too., infact it also has internal rhymes.. English teachers have influenced me a lot..especially during my adolescence....it's a noble profession.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Months Ago

Thanks a lot!
Thank you for entering your poem into my competition.

For somebody so young you write with such wisdom.

I like how you refer to the teacher as 'that patient wick'. This made me smile a great deal.


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

2 Months Ago

Thank you so much!
It must be difficult to write something as nuanced as poetry in a language other that one's first. That said, I think you deserve special notice for trying to express a complex message in this way.

As another reviewer suggested, simpler words will likely ease the translation.

I have no idea of the meaning of the second stanza:

He is that patient wick who never sick,
To being burned for other's sake.
'The frugal time will always flit'
Such teachings and statements he always make.

It's apparent you have some important messages to relay. Please continue. It might be an excellent way to learn the subtleties of the English language.

Please rewrite this and resubmit. I'd like to understand the message better.


Posted 4 Months Ago


Nice tribute to teachers. Thanks for sharing :)

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Months Ago

Thank you. 😊
You gave out a strong message through this.
The rhyme scheme works to an extent but I think it would be better if you put meaning first and then the scheme.
A moral read and thanks for sharing!

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Months Ago

Thank you dear. 😊
I really like this poem! I wasn't sure exactly you were going with it, but when I got to the end, it all fit together perfectly!!

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Months Ago

Thank you dear. 😊
I suggest you use smaller words and it would be better of every at least other sentence would rhyme. Try and go something like this:

He tries with a lot of cries,
for their better coming ahead lies,
but they mock and talk,
and in clatter they flock.


Posted 4 Months Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

4 Months Ago

Thanks for your suggestions.

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24 Reviews
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Added on September 1, 2017
Last Updated on September 28, 2017
Tags: Teacher, Sacrifice, Candle

Author

Raj Sahu
Raj Sahu

Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India



About
😊😊 Hello everyone. Myself Raj Sahu, a 16 year old boy who is a servant of the God until his last breath. I write poems and thinks that in future I will try other writiings too. I also .. more..

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