The punch song

The punch song

 

Four elements

In their core joined

Compose life

Make up the world

 

Press a lemon

Fully of its juice

For life is sour

In its substance

 

Then add sugar’s

Sweetening effect

To soften the sour

Burning taste

 

Pour in water’s

Bubbling freshness

For water permeates

Calmly the universe S

 

pread over it

Drops of spirit

For it alone gives

To life a real glint

 

Drink it quickly

Before it evaporates

For only sizzling

Thirst it quenches.

Author's Note

suggestion of improvement welcome

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Its good. Its to the point and you drink in the world how could one not like that!! That was prob my favorite part of the poem. Its good I like it alot

[Steffi]

I really like the way you wrote this one. Its direct yet not so much. It made me want to keep reading :DD

((Thanks for reviewing my work))

[None]

I like how you drink the world in! A great recipe to follow: sour, sweetness, bubbling freshness of water, and drops of spirit. You quenched my thirst for a wonderful poem to please!