The Incripted Prophesy

The Incripted Prophesy

A Story by C.L. Wilson

The very narrow secret passage that the head of the Tow house showed Pin-pan wasn’t lit and no source of light was allowed there so that no light would leak from the peeping holes. She was dressed in a simple shirt with her green, leather, traveling dress still on. Her black hair was barely fixed and she was wearing little make up. She was in no condition to be in the presence

There were holes in every room of the Tow mansion and right now she was close to the grand meeting hall. She crept close to the wall to check the nearest hole and she was one room away. The grand hall, as was the room she was now looking into, was a very grand and luxurious room. There in the center of it was a large, white tree with a thick canopy that made up the roof and it’s roots were smoothed out to make the floor. There were long tables made of the same wood as the tree and chairs of a different, red wood. 7 paper lanterns were flying slowly and in a straight line.

She moved on to the next room and she was right. The meeting hall was similar to the grand hall except that instead of a large white tree, there was a red tree, the same tree that the chairs were made of, that was only half the size as the white one, but it’s canopy and roots still made the roof and floor. Instead of being in the center of the room, it’s trunk was on the far edge of the room.

The head master of the house, Mah-soy Tow, was already sat at the head of the table with a small golden fire in front of him. There were seven different colored fires (red, blue, green, violet, black, and white) in total on the table where large mats were. In the corners of the room there was no light, and in the darkness, tall men appeared and walked to where a fire was on the table. Seven men for each fire.

Mah-soy stood up. He was a tall, handsome man for his age. His thick beard a mix of black and dark grey and his hair was the same. He was dressed in a robe of the same gold as the fire in front of him. The other’s robes matched the flame in front of them too. The only feature to the robes were the belts around their waste, each unique and jeweled. Mah-soy placed his hand over the flame and it shrunk to the size of an apple.

"My fellow masters," he greeted, his voice booming and rough, "allow this council to began."

The other men placed their hands over their flames and they shrunk like the golden fire.

"We are here for a reason that I believe is quiet obvious and equally important," he announced, "As Master Lil has said at our last meeting," the man in white stood up and bowed quickly, sitting down again, "he and his entire clan have seen images of the Grand City destroyed. No prophet has reported of the cause of the destruction since then, but I have found a female monk that might be able to help us."

They all looked at each other in confusion. One, who was wearing blue, didn’t look happy. He was a little fatter than the others and his long brown hair with grey streaks was tied back into a ponytail.

"If you are talking about who I think you are than you better reconsider," the man in blue growled.

"It is who you are thinking of Master Que," Mah-soy replied calmly, "Her debt to your family will be paid off within the week, I promise, since I am the one who is paying."

The man in blue stood up with a snarl on his face, "I don’t believe that sneaky wench is capable of helping us with such an odd situation."

"I assure you she is most capable," the host assured, "She is a specialist in all magic, and my theory is that this situation might not require just prophesiers but a hybrid mage."

"Who are you two talking about?" the man wearing black inquired

"How can we stoop so low. Hybrid mages are so– unruly," Master Que muttered, "Master Roa, we are speaking of the traveling monk, Pin-Pan. She has no last name and her blood line can not be found. I and my clan have been searching for her for quite some time so she could pay her debt of 224,997 gold spinels."

The entire crowd was silent except for an impressed whistle from the man in green. He appeared to be a younger and more humorous face in the room. Mah-soy wasn’t phased.

"I already said that I am paying off the debt," he told the crowd.

"But do you want to know something else," Que said, raising his hands into the air, "Her debt came to be in two turns of Pac!"

The man in the green robe began to chuckle, "My this woman sounds quite the company. Can she stay over at my place, Master Tow?"

No one else found it humorous except for Mah-soy.

"Yes she would enjoy her time with your family, Master Jin," he replied under a muffled laugh, "She loves games almost as much as your wife."

Most of the crowd was holding back laughter except for Que who still had the glare of rage.

"How can any of you be happy," he barked, "we are about to let a filthy mut do our bidding. We have never done it before and why should we now when the answer is already time."

"Because, Master Que," the man in the white said standing up in aggervation, "I have seen into the Gama Glass to see into the future and the prophesy will be fulfilled at the end of next year. Time is not on our side so we must do something to prevent this."

The man in black now stood up. He was rather scrawny and his complection was ghostly pale. "My fellow masters," his voice was as ghostly as his skin, "My clan and I stand behind Master Tow. If you are against him than you have to deal with me," his voice was horrifying.

"Are you threatening us?" Master Que asked in shock, "If it is another clan war you want than I am certain that there will be others by my side too," he looked towards hi colleagues to find that they were all turned away, "Have I no allies?" he shouted, his words falling upon closed ears.

"You will never have allies," Mah-soy told him sternly, "now that you have spoken of war. We have worked so hard to bring peace to the clans, after seven generations of dispute and you are willing to disturb the peace for prejudice?"

Master Que could not answer. Instead he disappeared in a burst of blue flames.

"How childish," someone muttered.

"If no one else wishes to bring drama to this meeting than I say we end it," Master Tow said calmly. Everyone nodded and so the meeting was over and the rest of the men disappeared in their colored flames.

© 2008 C.L. Wilson


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Que
The dialouge is well done in the way that each person has their own voice already. it usually takes me a great deal of time in order to make each person seperate in the way that they speak and I praise you for the skill!
I have a bit of a dilema though, in the first paragraph you say, "She was in no condition to be in the presence" and move on to the next paragraph. Was there more to that sentance or no? I couldn't tell.
This tale has awesome potential and I look forward to seeing part 2 and up.

~Que

PS: Although it was fun to see a familiar name in your story, I hope Master Que isn't what you believe me to be like ;) I'm just joshing, I just like to point out little things like that.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I loves all of your stories it seems.
How creative you are. Original ideas; can't wait to read more of what you put out ^-^
...but this confused me "Her black hair was barely fixed and she was wearing little make up. She was in no condition to be in the presence There were holes in every room of the Tow mansion"

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Que
The dialouge is well done in the way that each person has their own voice already. it usually takes me a great deal of time in order to make each person seperate in the way that they speak and I praise you for the skill!
I have a bit of a dilema though, in the first paragraph you say, "She was in no condition to be in the presence" and move on to the next paragraph. Was there more to that sentance or no? I couldn't tell.
This tale has awesome potential and I look forward to seeing part 2 and up.

~Que

PS: Although it was fun to see a familiar name in your story, I hope Master Que isn't what you believe me to be like ;) I'm just joshing, I just like to point out little things like that.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ok, I didn't read for grammar anyway - I didn't see any obvious problems with grammar - and grammar is the easiest to fix. Main thing is solid dialogue, plot and action.
The dialogue in this is solid and propels the story forward. I like the descriptions of the characters and the tone of the story as well. you have a great start here.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The dialogue is well done. The story builds well.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 8, 2008

Author

C.L. Wilson
C.L. Wilson

H-town, LA



About
first of all i suck at reviewing (or at least when it comes to detailed advice) so if you review my work i'll try my best to give you a decent review and as a note for reviewing-I really don't want re.. more..

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