Tyler.

I know smoking in a closed room makes me wake up sick
And when instructed to disconnect, who should I pick?
I don't exactly know why I'm constantly asked to leave
Or whether it's everything I know or just what I believe

I constantly untangle my hair from dried up tears upon it
Then every time I think of comfort, another cigarette is lit
I take up job after job to try and find the one that lasts
But the circle repeats itself, and I'm back to the past

I'm postponing accepting that someday we're all alone
It'd be a less scary if I ever could call a place my home
I don't talk about him now because he's my only son
And God forbid if he ever has to see all that I've done

I hope he never hears of the hell I knew he didn't deserve
And I'd tell him I miss him everyday, if only I had the nerve
I'd say that I never meant to let him escape my sight
That if I could, I relive everything just to make it right

He's that dream everyone has of the end of their climb
Tyler's the only little boy that should have been mine
Now, I'm stuck in this never ending cycle of dismiss
My life is a story I hate being the one I can reminisce

Somehow my mind doesn't seem to know how to repress
I just say it must be the wires of most of us poets
I remember the beatings and how it felt to be choked
And the marks that were left were nothing but a joke

I hated the car, and the diamonds, and the money
They never balanced all the times you were cunning
And it made me ill to have to run away from all of it
To pursue some life where I'll always feel like I quit

I had to protect him from all that only I seem to know
I have to escape from myself, and so I had to let him go

Reviews

[Lassian Willow]

This is an amazing piece of writing. I loved it. It brought me to tears. I can't imagine what is like to be a parent. I can tell that it was a tough decision to write about it, but this piece of writing is amazing and I loved it. This poem is moving and beautiful and amazing.... and..... I'm speechless, it was just perfect.

[Rebecca Hope Rouston]

thank you. it took a lot out of me, but in the end i sat back and felt fresh air. i appreciate you reading it, and im honestly glad you say it brought you to tears.

[Lassian Willow]

That's okay it was amazing

[Steve]

This sounds like you are being interviewed and are giving insight to a relationship. I like it!

[Drake]

Wow. This is amazing piece of art. It's absolutely stunning. The flow and rhythm of this is wonderful, and I love the emotion that flows through this. This is a stunning piece, and aside a few typos, this was perfect. You have a talent.

[admiralkurtz]

When I first read this.... well it brought me to tears... I really haven't figured out the right words myself to even comment on this piece... it's moving without a doubt though...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I am not sure what to say after reading this emotionally heartfelt piece... sometimes we need to sacrifice for ones we love even if it does hurt us. I feel for you, you made a tough decision that you felt was best. I commend for that.

[John Stussy]

This was a striking, beautiful poem. I can't imagine what it is to be a parent, and the experience you shared with your words held a regret more profound than I've experienced. You're an amazing writer. I can't really think of much else to say, your poem has made me speechless. Great work.

[Rebecca Hope Rouston]

thanks. this was a tough one...i never talk about this stuff. but i couldnt hold it in anymore...

[John Stussy]

Well, I'm glad you were able to use your writing talent to get these thoughts out of your head.