(un)familiar

(un)familiar

A Poem by recantichize

 five am and i'm just coming home,
stumbling back, but not drunk,
its just that it's five am, you see,
and everything has a hostile air
that i never notice in the day light.
climbing vines like hungry reaching fingers,
claw up the side of the twisted brick.
the fallen leaves stand on end,
as though the land itself
is threatened at my approach.
the trees drone and hiss,
the fortifications of countless disputants.
even the wind is still, 
seeming to try to hide its position
or intentions...
the moon has fallen back 
behind the proscenium of clouds,
veiling its halcyon protection.
my darting eyes try to collect 
all the purifying light 
to aid me to the embassy of mankind,
but even it is against me.
the keyport seems to move
avoiding my keys, keeping me longer
in this inhospitable world.


© 2012 recantichize



WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.

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Reviews

Physical exhaustion can certainly create feelings of near-paranoia.
You describe it all so very well--the clawing, the droning, the hissing. Reality immediately reinterpreted as hostile; alive with all manner of impending danger.
This piece could not have been done much better--by anyone.
Difficult for me to see why, fair poetess, "(un)familiar" should not be considered art.

Posted 5 Years Ago


I wish I were with you then at 5am - it is a wonderful hour, you express the dizzy haziness and confusion of moonlight - I adore this, the feel of being alive is what I take most from the piece, alive yet alone.
Rosa xx

Posted 5 Years Ago


You are a superb poet.

This talent of yours is blatantly obvious. Maybe you should help others here who arent nearly as talented? Too much of the stuff written at this site is painful to read....

But you have definite talent. I like how you took a simple home arrival and turned into an interesting, indentifiable write to be enjoyed by many....



Posted 5 Years Ago


sort of like taking a look at everything again for the very first time...

each line a layer, great build.
"the fallen leaves stand on end"
indeed.
hostile at 5 am.... ya should probably move out into nature, away from the embassys of man..
Nice piece

Posted 5 Years Ago


You had me hooked from the first line! I think anyone who is thoughtful enough to notice has lived these feelings you express. Love it!

Posted 5 Years Ago


this really has some thought-provoking imagery. i wonder to myself if i ever felt the same coming back at 5am after sneaking out all night. your awareness stumbling home at that time in the morning is so acute in noticing these details and to perceive them the way you do. it has a haunting affect. excellent poem i really enjoyed it.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Firstly, it might read better as "keeping me longer in this inhospitable world" and just note the spelling. If you wrote this at 5am i guess typo's are to be expected!

Secondly, I really like the poem. It has great imagery and takes what could be a very simplistic and understated experience into one full of meaning whilst maintaining the poetic languor. Great job!

Posted 5 Years Ago


You have interwoven some of my favorite words into this beautiful tapestry, friend. "drone, halcyon, keyport". I have to say, when you wrote that it is five am and that alone makes the world "hostile", I found myself in awe. It is amazing what the early morning hours do while we sleep. This was very enjoyable to read!

Posted 5 Years Ago


That is really great poem for you as well as your other poems. i like time of dawn, it is really fantastic. i like the fresh air and the quiet view while people are still sleeping...but wheb people wake up and it bcomes very noisy, crowded, ohh nooo..it is like quitness followed by storms! i enjoyed every image you have drawn here...about the moon, air and all nature. but i am sorry you dont look happy although this times should be mmeaning peace and quitness. great work

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on April 11, 2012
Last Updated on April 19, 2012

Author

recantichize
recantichize

denton, TX



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perpetual wa(o)nderer more..

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