Chapter 2

The next day I decided to rest in the sunshine.  Swim in the pool, read, and listen to the music I wanted to for a change.  Around midday the maid bowed her way in asking permission to clean which I allowed happily.  Everyone who was working in the villa was held to a confidentiality agreement to not tell anyone who was staying in the villas.  If they were found to have brought attention to the guests they were fired.  It sounded harsh but this was the life of the rich and the famous. 

I thanked the woman very much before she bowed her way out.  I always found the nicer you were to the staff working for you, the better they would be at doing what you wanted to.  Mainly keeping you or whatever, you were doing a secret.  I had a friend who found this out the hard way.  

I made sure to be friendly with everyone from the driver, to the security man, to the maid.  Tip them well.  Not just for my own gain but it was how I was brought up to be.  Generous with the people around me.  Money didn’t really mean anything after all. 

 

I napped throughout the afternoon while it was too hot to be outside.  I woke up around 5.30, jumping in the shower, rinsing the swimming pool off me and called for the chef to prepare something for me.  I had requested two types of chefs. A special Korean only chef who could provide me with anything I wanted from home, and an Indonesian chef specialising in Indonesian and western cuisine.  Tonight though I would have something from home. 

I settled on the terrace that looked over the beach watching the sun go down as I was served my favourite Gajamisikhae (spicy fermented flatfish).  I listened to some soft music and I flicked through the pages in my tablet while I waited. 

I was trying to write my own material for my next album.  I had been writing down anything and everything that came into my mind.  It was the first time I had been allowed such creative freedom over my own music and I wanted to get it right.  I wanted it to convey growth.  Maturity and I wanted it to be me through and through.  I was having a hard time being inspired though what with being busy and exhausted all the time. 

I watched as the sun set and felt very peaceful as a light breeze blew through my faded blue hair.  It really was beautiful here, I thought to myself, taking in the swaying palm trees and the vast white perfect beach.  I watched in the far distance as someone cleared up chairs and I could hear distant noise from what looked like a restaurant quite a way down the beach.  There was almost no one around on my part of the beach.  The occasional person walked by but no one looked up into the villa at me.  I always enjoyed myself watching the world go by, often wondering what it would be like to be one of those people in the crowd.  One of the normal people, someone who’s name wasn’t instantly recognised in half the world.  I envied them.  Their normality, their easy lives.  All I had known since I was 13 was fame.  All I had known was the industry and the work.  I didn’t know normal.  I wished I could meet someone normal.  Everyone I knew was either a celebrity, and the majority of those, especially women, were extremely vain and pretentious, or they were very rich in some way or another in which case they thought they owned you. 

I felt like all I had were my band members, and close friends in other bands who did the same as me, or my family.  It was lonely really.  No one tells you it is going to feel so lonely being cut off from talking to anyone you liked in the street or being shoved as fast as possible into a vehicle for fear of you being harmed by a million people who had waited all night to see you walk outside.  Ok maybe not a million people but you get the idea. 

I wanted to have a real friend.  Someone not connected to the business at all.  Someone who had a normal job and a normal life.  If I’m honest I wanted a girlfriend.  I had never had a serious, honest to god relationship with someone in my life.  I was woefully inexperienced with women.  I had girlfriends for show, or dates with certain celebrities who got in touch with my managers, but needless to say nothing ever felt real. 

I sighed to myself the wind caressing my face as I laid my head in my crossed arms on the fence and watched as the moon began to shine on the waves lightly lapping at the beach. 

No I’d never meet a normal woman.  I was too shy to go up to anyone, and I’d be too scared she would know me.  Besides when I did and she found out who I was and what I did (if she didn’t know already) she would change.  They all would.  Money and fame changes people in the worst way possible. 

 

I snapped out of my stupor as my phoned buzzed hard on the table.  Reaching out I saw a message from Minho asking how peaceful would it be if he gate crashed my holiday.  He was teasing.  He knew I would be gutted and irritated at him coming here.  Besides I knew he was busy himself.  He had gone to visit family and then he was taking them away somewhere in Southern Europe. 

I text back playfully: If you gate crash I will not be held responsible for my actions. 

He text a silly emoji back and followed up with: Don’t fall down the rabbit hole Alice. 

 

 

I woke up early the next day.  The sound of the sea could be heard over the buzzing of the air conditioner.  I was too comfortable to move.  I had been having a nice dream for once so I kept my eyes shut, hoping to fall back into it, my brain going over the details. 

I had met the most beautiful woman.  She was Caucasian and she was beautiful, with brown eyes and long copper blonde hair.  My brain searched my memories for the finer details of her face but failed miserably.  She had been laughing with me while I danced with her, her laugh, I remember thinking in my dream, sounded like exquisite music.  How had I met her?  I pushed into the furthest corners of my head reaching for the dream that seemed to fall away from me quickly.  I couldn’t remember, nor could I fall back asleep.  Before I got up I said a quick prayer thanking the universe for my fortune and my luck.  I know this sounds ridiculous, but I always woke up thinking this wasn’t my reality and how fortunate I was to have what I did. 

My dream girl played in the depths of my mind all morning as I stretched, swam and had breakfast.  I still couldn’t find her features and attempted to put it out my mind. 

Around midday I decided to go for a walk.  I had been told the entire beach was secure I wouldn’t be bothered if I went into any of the bars, coffee shops or restaurants down the way.

As I walked under the sun with a cap, shades and face mask on I noticed out of the corner of my eye a small coffee shop that looked rather empty from the outside.  What caught my eye was the black board sign outside that said ‘Banana milk’. Banana milk was without a doubt delicious.  Thirst instantly took over me as I jogged up to the small shop. 

I walked in and felt instantly cool.  There were maybe three other people in the shop who didn’t look up as I walked in.  It was light and dark inside with equal measure.  It had an eclectic mix of chairs and sofas.  The bar front was manned by one tiny Indonesian man who looked very old. 

I walked over to the counter and ordered banana milk along with ice cream. I could never say no to ice cream. 

I turned around to find a comfortable place to sit thinking it wouldn’t be a bad place to spend a little bit of time out of the sun. 

I settled behind a wall on a comfortable looking blue sofa with a small wooden bench table in front of me.  I pulled out my tablet intending to write down how the girl with the musical laugh made me feel from my dreams. 

I had been in the small coffee shop for around half an hour, enjoying my ice cream and banana milk which was as delicious as in Korea.  Two of the people had left the shop, so I was near enough alone ignoring the small Indonesian man who was playing on his phone. 

 

The door creaked open breaking the silence of the shop.  I looked up briefly to see two women walk in, one White, one Indonesian.  The Indonesian woman was tall and rather large, talking loudly and very quickly on her phone.  The second was much smaller, tiny even.  She couldn’t be more than 150cm, and very slight.  She had long copper blonde hair.  Something niggled at me while I shyly watched her.  She sat down as the other woman made her way to the counter and ordered coffee.  Then she made her way into to the back of the shop.  The white woman sat on a table near enough opposite to me, I slid down the sofa in an attempt to hide myself a little.  I don’t know why I did it.  I watched her remove her phone from her bag and start flicking through. 

She had dark sunglasses on so I could not see her eyes.  She pouted into the phone as my eyes fell over the features of her face.  Beautiful full pink lips with a very prominent cupids bow.  Her skin was flawless with a slight golden tan.  She didn’t appear to have any make up on but she had a slight pink blush in her cheeks. 

I took in the rest of her sitting there tapping her foot.  She was wearing simple looking denim cut off shorts and an over sized tank with a light cream cardigan thrown over.  She had two silver bracelets dangling from her wrists and she had several silver rings on her fingers. 

She pulled out some headphones and plugged them into the phone, bopping her head to the music.  She looked like she was settling in to wait for the other woman who didn’t seem to be returning any time soon.  The old man from the counter walked over to give her the ice coffee that had been ordered for her, she raised her head and gave him a dazzling smile full of white teeth.  It was the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.  So genuine, taking over her face and transforming her.  I stared transfixed at this sight in front of me. 

I pulled down my cap a little and tried to watch her while pretending to be busy with my tablet, in case she looked up and saw me staring or worse looked up and recognised me. 

She didn’t look up.  She just tapped away at her phone bopping her head to the music. 

I couldn’t fix my mind to get back into writing anything down for my music.  So I just scrolled past the same few pages a couple of times, listening out for this beautiful woman. 

Eventually the second woman came out from behind the counter with a large amount of books and a laptop.  It looked like she worked here.  I wondered if the western woman also worked here somehow. 

 

I put my sunglasses back on carefully, just in case, and finished my milk.  I was staring intently at the woman in my very bad disguise and trying really badly to look like I wasn’t when the old man came over to me to clear the table.  ‘another milk sir?’ he asked smiling at me.  ‘Sure sure,’ I whispered back trying not to make too much noise. 

After what felt like an eternity watching this woman bop her head and scroll through her phone she raised her glasses of her face and settled them on top of her head. 

I almost cursed myself for the sharp in take of breath I took. 

She had large brown eyes, the same eyes of the girl in my dream.  My brain was now a fizzing mess.  How had I dreamt of this girl before I even met her? I started to doubt myself.  SURELY I have seen her somewhere before?  Why couldn’t I remember. 

‘I’m going outside for a bit’ she said to the other woman.

‘ok babe’ the second replied not looking up.

She glided up from the chair, briefly looking in my direction, but didn’t seem to notice me, before turning around, her hair floating around her like a copper cloud. 

I breathed out.  What had just happened? I knew I wanted to meet this woman, find out who she was and how I appeared to know her before I had actually met her.  But the thought filled me with absolute dread.  How was I going to do that? What if she knew me? What if she knew kpop? Oh god, here came all the insecurities I had about meeting regular people.  I longed to meet people who wouldn’t fall over themselves telling me how much they loved me. 

I leaned forward to get a better look at the door, she seemed to be sitting outside on one of the chairs, smoking.  Smoking.  Hmm.  Not great.  I frowned, but it didn’t put me off wanting to meet her. 

I toyed with the idea of following and sitting outside with her, smiling at her, have her smile back at me.  I realised I couldn’t pull this off.  I was so lame and shy meeting knew people. 

I thought about asking the old man behind the counter if he had a cigarette and going out to ask her for a light before realising that that was the most stupid thing in the world to do. 

Come on Taem, you can just go outside and sit down.  Oh god, what if I go out and she comes in and then I’m stuck. 

Before I made a decision about what to do she came back inside taking the choices away from me. 

I sat quietly thinking before having a genius idea.  I would text Jonghyun.  He knew what to do with meeting people.  He never met weirdos either, well not that bad.

T :Hyung, I need help.  Starting a conversation?

J: With me? I think you did that bro.

T: You know what I mean.

J: You spied someone? Pretty? Take a picture.

T: HELP ME.

J: Ok ok, keep your hair on.  Where are you?

T: In a coffee shop?

J: Other people?

T: One other.

J: Ask for directions.

T:…. What?

J: Locals? Ask for directions, ask if they know where to get something.  Best way trust me. 

T: Won’t that make me look stupid?

J: No. Endearing.  TRUST ME. Also, SEND ME A PICTURE.

I thought for a second how to take a picture.  Making sure every flash and noise was turned off, I took a very bad picture of the girl and sent it to him.

J: *TYPING*

J: *TYPING*

Come on Jonghyun. I muttered to myself. 

J: She’s out of your league friend.  ;,,,,)

Great make fun of me. 

I decided not to text back.  I looked up swallowing hard thinking over his useless advice.  There was nowhere I needed to find directions for. 

I decided, looking at my watch to go back home.  I paid my bill and got up to leave.  I turned my head to look at the girl one last time, as I did she caught my eye and she smiled.  She appeared not to have recognised me at least, but that smile warmed my heart.  I smiled back realising she couldn’t see it because of my face mask.

As I reached the door and pushed I heard her laugh.  It was exactly the same.  The same magical musical laugh that had been turning around my head since I woke up.  I turned to look back at her, her back now to me.