Chapter 4

I woke up in a mild panic.  I wasn’t sure of the time but my internal clock sensed it was late in the day.  My phone was buzzing somewhere.  I reached around the bed grabbing for it, my eyes still closed.  

I rubbed my face as I opened my eyes adjusting to the light.  I looked at the time 11.30am.  This was late for me.  I had several texts from Jognhyun.

J: So, did it work?

J: Why are you ignoring me?

J: Are you still asleep?

J: F**k is wrong with you Taemin.

J: ANSWER ME.

J: TAEMIN ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP. Did you talk to blondie?

J: OOIIIIIIIIIIIII

Several more texts went on similarly.  I sighed at myself still waking up. 

T: Yes, I met her, but not with your bullshit advice.  Seriously how do you get women with s**t like that dude?

BEEP BEEP

J: Sexual magnetism. 😉

J: So? Was she a crazy one? Normal? Or does she come from Mars and like strange looking Korean boys?

I paused thinking how to word what happened while he continued to bug me for a response. 

T: Seems normal.  Doesn’t seem to recognise me.  I met her in a bar, she asked for a cigarette and I gave her one.

Instantly.

J: You gave her one huh? :P CIGARETTES THOUGH? You don’t smoke? What’s with that?

T: Long story.

J: I have hours sweetheart.

I sighed again.

T: She smokes, I saw her in the coffee shop smoking, bought a pack, don’t ask why. I have no idea what I was thinking.  I got one out when I saw her again and she asked for one.  She basically started talking to me. 

J: Smooth.  Using props.  SERIOUSLY THOUGH a smoker? That’s not cool.  She began talking to you? Sounds weird to me.

He sent me a lot of stickers and gifs highlighting his points about smoking and weirdos that I chose to ignore. 

 

I was thirsty and I was definitely in dire need of brushing my teeth to get the rancid smoke taste out of my mouth.  He was right smoking was not cool and it could affect my voice which wasn’t going to go down well with the managers. 

I decided to shower while I was in the bathroom anyway.  I felt sticky and tired.  I walked around the massive villa trying to find things to entertain me.  I flicked the tv on which I turned off after a few minutes flicking past every channel there seemed to be.  I put music on but I couldn’t even drown out my own thoughts with it and it quickly began to irritate me.  I walked into the room set aside with music equipment and put everything down I picked up within seconds. 

 

I knew of course why I couldn’t focus.  The reason was glaringly obvious.  What wasn’t obvious was why this girl? I had met so many beautiful women all over the place, from other artists, people I grew up with, people I worked with, fans even.  Just because they were fans didn’t stop us admiring a beautiful woman when she crossed our paths. 

But why was this one in my head?

I decided the only thing I could do was go back to the coffee shop and hope to ‘accidentally’ bump into her again.  Maybe I would see her and realise she wasn’t as beautiful as I had imagined.  Maybe the smoking put me off enough to not think about her any more.  I was getting irritated.  I wanted peace and found myself more at odds with myself than ever because of her.  I hadn’t had the brain power the previous evening the ask for her number, but I decided not to dwell on that realising even if I did have the brain power I probably wouldn’t have had the confidence to anyway. 

I was capped and masked while wearing my sunglasses again, just in case.

I did my very best not to run all the way there, knowing if she was there I didn’t want to look like I’d been running. 

I slowed right down as I could see the coffee shop approaching.  I inwardly prayed for her to be there, to get another chance meeting with her. 

As I took a breath and took my final few steps inside I looked around and realised immediately she was not there. 

I let out the breath I hadn’t realised I was holding in and decided to order some food, since I had not had the foresight to eat before leaving, actually I totally forgot about food until this moment. 

I ordered eggs and pancakes with of course another banana milk and sat in the same place as yesterday while I ate. 

I prayed and prayed for her to walk in, trying to take my time eating while also being so hungry I couldn’t shove the food in fast enough. 

Eventually I finished eating and the small, old Indonesian man came to clear up the plates.  I decided to stick around for a while longer and asked for another milk. 

I pulled out my tablet and tried my best to read a book I had intended to read now I finally had some free time.  After reading the same page 5 times I gave it up as a bad job. 

I was getting restless and I knew the longer I stayed here the more annoyed I would get.  I paid my bill and left the coffee shop walking away fast and not looking where I was going at all when I walked right smack into someone.

It was Jen. 

‘Hey!’ she squealed ‘use your eyes much?’ she rubbed her arm looking at me half a smile on her lips. 

I was mortified. I just stood there gawking at her, my eyes wide ‘I’m so sorry . . .. sorry’ I kept mumbling over and over.

‘I didn’t think you would LITERALLY walk into me the next time I saw you’ she half laughed.  It put me at ease a little. 

‘I . . . wasn’t . . .  looking . . . sorry . . . ‘full sentences failed me.

She squeezed my arm.  ‘Where are you going in a hurry?’ She asked.  I looked at her properly for the first time, she had on the same cut off shorts as yesterday, and a plain oversized white t-shirt.  She looked flawlessly casual and cool. 

‘Oh just home’ I mumbled.

‘oh that’s a shame’ she winked. 

I smiled at her, thinking the same thing but not saying it.  Without thinking I burst out with ‘Do you want to come?’

She raised an eyebrow at me, ‘Do I want to come?’ she enquired at my strange expression.

‘I mean…’ I took a breath, ‘do you want to come and hang out …. If you’re not busy’.  I looked into her eyes hoping she wasn’t just going to laugh in my face.  She looked a little startled but recovered quickly with a smile and said ‘Ok then. But first I really need coffee.  Is that ok?’

I nodded and walked back to the coffee shop with her, waiting while she ordered an ice coffee. 

‘So where are you staying?’ she enquired as she walked out of the shop drinking her ice coffee through a straw. 

‘Just up here, along the beach’ I said falling into stride along side her.  I cursed myself thinking to myself she’s going to question what I do now.  I started to feel that familiar sense of dread wash over me and randomly began to pray the maid had been into clean up after me. 

‘Fancy’ she whistled between her teeth as we walked up the villa through the terrace. 

It was impressive and you couldn’t help but notice it.  She didn’t ask me how I could afford it or what I did though. 

She walked through the open living room as I stood along the counter that over looked the room, putting my tablet down and watching her take it in.  She moved to the windows looking out into the vast lush gardens with the oversized swimming pool in the middle. 

She stood just staring out the window for a while, as I stood watching her, how her hair blew around her face, her expression of understated awe on her face. 

‘Should we sit outside?’ I asked going to stand next to her. 

She smiled and nodded following me outside.  I found a gazebo for us to sit under, shaded from the sun, overlooking the pool, with a fan in the top corner to keep us cool.  It was full of cushions and pillows and had become one of my favourite places to sit in the garden. 

I kicked off my shoes and crossed my legs leaning back against the many pillows.  She kicked her shoes off too and crawled into the gazebo settling on her front, her legs kicked up behind her, resting her elbows on a pillow. 

‘This is nice’ she said softly. 

‘yeah, it’s nice and private’ I said not thinking.

‘private that’s for sure’ she said

‘I mean quiet.  I like the peace’.

She gave me a strange look, and I hoped my slip of the tongue hadn’t seemed too strange.

‘What do you do here?’ I asked her again.  I had asked her last night but she hadn’t answered me properly.

‘I am an English teacher.  I also write articles and I’m working on a book right now’ she told me. 

‘An English teacher’ I laughed.  ‘maybe you can help me improve’.

She smiled ‘Sure I can but you’re pretty good already’

‘Yeah but it could be better’ I told her.

‘Then I can definitely help you.  Call it my debt for the water being paid off’ She cocked her head at me.

I smiled widely at her. 

She was beautiful and smart.  I liked that about her.  I asked her every question I could think of about her job, how long she had been doing it, who she worked for, what she wrote about. 

She had been teaching for years, mostly online which I thought was strange and cool.  She met people all over the world and wished she could one day go and visit all their cities and countries she heard so much about. 

When she spoke about herself she had a very endearing confidence about herself.  It wasn’t a vanity, she didn’t believe or try to make anyone think she was the best at her job.  But she enjoyed it and she did the best job she could, which she said was all anyone could ask of anyone else.  I quietly agreed with her.  If someone was trying their best even if they fell short of your expectations of them they hadn’t failed. 

We talked, mostly about her for what seemed like hours.  The sky suddenly started to darken and I realised we had been talking most of the afternoon. 

‘Are you hungry?’ I asked her, at this point I was unable to wipe the smile of my face from my happy afternoon with a normal and humble person. 

‘I AM STARVING’ She giggled loudly.

‘Should we go out?’ I asked not thinking at all about being seen or recognised. 

She narrowed her eyes at me a little strangely and said ‘What do you want to eat?’

I thought for a while and told her Sushi.  I was desperate for Japanese food a craving suddenly taking over me. 

She smiled widely and pulled out her phone ‘I know a place that delivers, if that is ok with you?  I have been outside every night’ her eyes were on mine waiting for the ok.

‘yeah that’s ok with me’ I responded eagerly.  Maybe to eagerly as she smirked back. 

She ordered through the phone and I told her I would let the security know food was coming.  As I got up to go and speak to them I could have sworn I heard her say ‘Security for Lee Taemin’

I turned to give her a shocked look, I was absolutely sure of what she had said but when I looked at her, her eyes were down on the phone and she was smiling, as if she hadn’t said a word.  It jolted me a little, and I began to think maybe she did know me more than she was letting on. 

I walked to the security post in a kind of daze, handed the money over and told him to come and bring it through when it arrived, but I made it clear not to call me by Mr Lee. 

I walked back into the garden and watched as I saw Jen had curled over onto her side, with her head and back in the mountains of pillows.  She looked like a curled up butterfly.  Her eyes were closed as if she was about to fall asleep.

I walked over quietly to the gazebo, carefully trying not to disturb her.  I sat crouched down at the side my eyes darting over her face, taking in all the contours, colours, her long eyelashes brushing against her cheek.  I reached out to stroke her face absentmindedly when she opened her brown eyes at me. 

I smiled, embarrassed I had been caught almost doing something very intimate.  She smiled also embarrassed I guess that she had caught me. 

‘I’m sorry I closed my eyes for a second’ she said leaning up and stretching her arms out wide.

‘that’s ok. If you’re tired feel free to use my gazebo as a bed’ I laughed nervously.  I felt the atmosphere change slightly. 

She laughed, I couldn’t tell if she was nervous or not but I definitely saw a slightly pink blush blossom in her cheeks. 

‘You ask a lot of questions Taem’ she said.  ‘they’re tiring me out’ I quickly went to apologise as she laughed. ‘It’s fine, but I don’t know anything about YOU’ she jabbed me in the chest playfully.

‘Hmmm’ I didn’t know what to say, ‘What do you want to know then?’

She eyed me, obviously thinking over what she was going to say.  Carefully she said, ‘Tell me about your family’.

So, I told her.  I spoke about my parents, my older brother, his wife and their daughter.  I adored my family so it was easy for me to talk about them.

Somewhere in the middle of talking the security guard came in with the food.  When I looked at it all I was taken aback, I hadn’t realised we had ordered so much. 

‘you wanted this’ she said giggling at my look of confusion. 

‘I did?’ I asked. 

‘oh yeah, every time I said how about this you said ‘yeah!’’ she scoffed, ‘So you better be hungry’. 

We placed all the trays in a circle like a picnic between us around the gazebo. 
The food was delicious.  I’ve generally found, sushi that isn’t made in Japan isn’t as good.  I began eating realising just how hungry I was.  I began to eat more when I noticed her watching me with a bemused smile on her face

‘Hungry huh?’ she smiled taking more sushi for herself. 

I gave her a self-conscious smile back.  She laughed at my embarrassment.  ‘you’re so cute’.

I stared at her hardly able to believe what she had just said.  She thought I was cute! My heart began doing the samba inside my chest. 

‘Thanks’ I said after swallowing hard. ‘So are you’ I added quietly more to myself than to her not being brave enough to say it confidently enough. 

She winked at me and continued to eat.