One reason

Addiction can engulf peoples lives before they even realize how bad they have become. This is a poem I wrote after returning from Iraq, when I was drunk and felt alone.

Another night alone with my rum.

For me drinking has stopped being fun.

Can hardly eat and everyone sees me growing weak.

Once was happy and addiction free

now I've lost control and it's ruining me

My thoughts bring such sorrow and they keep comin

while my heart's seeking something

but evil won't stop for nothing

not even lovin...

loneliness sinking its venom deep into my veins

only thing keepin me goin is fear...

...fear of what's next

...fear of dying with nothing but regrets

so I keep waking up with a face drenched in tears

replaying flash backs of passed years

knowing every drinks a mistake

bringing forth more morning shakes

thinking bout the night prior

when I blacked out with a gun in my hand

wishing I was a stronger man.

I held it right under my chin 

good thing my soul was afraid of the end

crying so hard my eyes could barely open 

telling myself all these wonderful lies 

"Someone cares about me" &

"People will remember me after I'm gone"

Decided to sit down and write out a list 

Reasons to stay and not throw life away...

...Only came up with one YOU... Thank you...

Author's Note

Did not want to alter it much from when I was drunk that night so there will be "grammar issues"

Reviews

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was brilliant.
Its so moving, and heartfelt, and full of emotion.
Such a deep piece, written from your soul.
Im sorry you went through this, and Im glad your still here today, hope you don't have thoughts of killing yourself anymore, that's serious.
I like the ending, how it was she who made you want to stay, that's sweet and beautiful.
Here if you want to talk.
Great piece, keep writing :)