To Find Love Again

Scott has been in an accident. What he doesn't know is that this accident will not only change his life, but give it a new beginning.

            Soft hands.  His first thought was that whoever was touching the side of his cheek had soft hands.  Something about a person’s touch spoke volumes about who that person was.  Rough hands meant that they worked hard or fought hard.  Shaky hands meant that they were nervous or stressed.  Thin hands meant fragility. Soft hands meant that they didn’t fight or work, but that they comforted or were used to comfort.  Along with their softness, these hands gave a sense of something else"strength.

            The second thing that he noticed was that he couldn’t move.  He couldn’t move.  It was dark.  He didn’t know where he was or why he felt a sudden urge of panic. 

            Scott gasped for breath; opening his eyes and grabbing for something to hold on to for stability.  His hand shot forward and grabbed the wheel of a car"his car"and employed a vice-like grip around it’s slim, circular bar.  His head swiveled around trying to get some sense of familiarity for his location.  Scott sucked in air.  Am I dead?  I’m not dead.  I’m breathing.  Breathe more, Scott.  

            “Hey!  Hey! Calm down!”  The hands.  Scott had momentarily forgotten about them.  They had moved from his face to his shoulders in an attempt to keep him still. “I’ve got you.  You’re okay.” 

            Scott turned to his left and focused his eyes on a woman kneeling in a squat beside the driver’s door.  Concern seemed to overwhelm her face in the most peaceful way as her eyes searched his for any recognition of what was happening. 

            “Where-where am I?”  Scott tried to get his mouth to work.  It was dry.  He wasn’t sure if it was because he had been knocked out for a while or because he was dehydrated or injured.  “What happened?”

            “You were in an accident,” She said.  Once her words registered, Scott took another look at his environment.  The car"his car was a mess.  He could just see over the dashboard, but the tree that the front end was wrapped around looked like Moses parting the sea.  The passenger’s side door was ripped off completely.  Glass was everywhere.  The girl cleared her throat. “I was driving down the road, and I came around the corner just as you crashed into the tree.”

            Scott slowly started to fidget.  The seat belt was still on.  He reached down to free himself.  She saw what he was trying to do and reached for the seat belt release. 

            “Thanks,” Scott mumbled.  He swung his feet out of the car and pushed himself up into a standing position.  He didn’t feel injured.  No broken bones.  No intense pain. 

            “Be careful, Scott.  You’re bleeding.”  The woman reached up and let a finger hover by his head before stepping back.  “Hold on, I have something that will clean that up.”   

            Her shoulder-length blonde hair bounced as she disappeared in the shine of another car’s headlights.  Scott leaned against the wreck of metal and chrome that used to be his car.  Let’s piece this together.  Scott, you were in a wreck. You crashed into a tree.  You are ‘rescued’ by a strange girl.  Wait.  She had said his name.  Scott felt his jeans for the wallet he usually shoved in his pocket.  It was still there. 

            “Here.  Let me see your head.”  The girl returned with a small rag and a bottled water accompanied with a small first aid kit.  He leaned down and let her take the wet rag and gingerly clean his wound.  Small stabs of pain caused him to wince.  “I’m sorry.  Sorry.  I know I hurts.”

            Scott shook his head.  “I can handle it.”

            She opened the first aid kit and pulled out a small packet of cream and a wipe.  When she was done tending to the injury, she placed a large Band-Aid over it. 

            “So, everyone can know that you survived,” she smiled.  Scott stood up straight. 

            “You know my name.”

             The smile turned into a bashful one.  She nodded. 

            “You don’t remember me though?”

            Scott stared at her.  They looked about the same age.  Of course, after college years start to blur; and college had been a while ago.  Nothing was coming to him.  She held out her hand and turned her arm so that he could see the inside of her wrist. Peace. Love. Joy.   The words were small, but the tattoo immediately caused Scott to remember before college. 

            “Noel?”  Pleased that he hadn’t forgotten her, she grabbed the first aid kit, rag, and water. 

            “I’ll pretend not to be hurt that you didn’t recognize me right away, or just attribute it to that knock on your head.”

            “Or that I haven’t seen you since"since high school.” 

            She noted his hesitation and shifted her stance.  Scott followed her gaze to his car.

            “You need a ride somewhere?”  

            “I guess I do,” he said kicking the wrecked car.  “No sense calling the cops out to this s****y, backwoods road.”

            Noel pulled her Blue Chevy Malibu around the wreckage and onto the dark road.  Scott noticed the smell of cinnamon in abundance in the car and shook his head.  A snowman hung from the rear view mirror.   Scott pushed his with his finger making it swing. 

            “Still into Christmas all year ‘round?”  Noel nodded.

            “My name kind of demands it, you know.  I continue to annoy all of my friends and my roommate with Christmas cheer even in the summer.” 

            “It’s crazy that you were the one to find me.  What are you doing back here?” He gestured to the full back seat.  Noel shifted in her seat. 

            “It’s been a while since I’ve been back to this area,” she recollected.  “I swore I would never return after graduation. I have no ties to anyone.”

            “So why are you here?” Scott watched her shrug. 

            “There’s some unsettled business I have here.”  She stared at the road. “I was sitting in my apartment the other night wondering what I was going to do with the week I had off.”

            “And you came here?”  Scott raised an eyebrow. 

            “Yeah, well, maybe I was meant to come here just to be your knight in shining armor.  By the way, what were you doing on this road at night?” 

            Scott wasn’t sure if he wanted to divulge his pitiful life to her.  Noel didn’t look like she had been traveling.  The little black dress she wore screamed party not road trip.  She had wedges pushed off to the side of the floor while she drove barefoot.  Scott couldn’t help but glance at her hands again.  No ring.  That was surprising.  Noel didn’t have the easiest life, but she was determined, smart, and sexy as hell.  That part hadn’t escaped his accident-rattled brain.  He, on the other hand, had everything he ever wanted, but was miserable. 
            “Scott?”  Noel glanced at him.  She was waiting for an answer. “Are you okay.”

            “I’m fine. I just don’t really want to talk about my life right now.”

            Lights from the city were coming into view as they departed from the wooded country road and began to see civilization.  Scott hated what he saw.  He had grown up here, lived here, and in his mind, he had already died here. Noel seemed proud that she could remember the streets and landmarks without assistance.  

            “You can just drop me off at my house,” Scott said.  “I can give you the address.”

            “Um, I don’t think you should be left alone,” Noel said looking at the wound on his forehead.  “I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that if there is any chance of a concussion, you aren’t supposed to go to bed.  In fact, you probably should go to a hospital.”

            “Trust me, Noel.  I’m"Ow!”  He swatted her hand as she pulled her finger back from poking his head.  “What the hell?”

            “Yeah, you aren’t okay.  Remember that time you hit your head really hard when we went bridge jumping in middle school?”  She puffed out her chest and lowered her voice. “Naw, guys, I’m good.  I’m fine.”

            “That’s a horrible imitation of me,” Scott mumbled; still shielding his head. 

            “It’s not funny,” Noel pouted.  “I watched as you walked halfway up the hill to the bridge and pass out. Three of us carried you through the woods and down the road until a car saw us.  The driver called 911, and you were"a mess. I was really scared.”

            Scott noted the change in her voice.  This was going to be awkward.  Neither of them addressed it though.  Instead, Noel slapped the steering wheel.

            “I have a hotel room booked. You can come back there with me, and then we will go out.”  She didn’t wait for him to agree.  Instead, she turned on the radio. 

            “I remember waking up to you in the hospital,” Scott said absently. The day that he had jumped off the bridge.  He remembered climbing the hill and blacking out.  The next thing he remembered was waking up in the hospital.  His mother and a doctor were talking.  His friends Elliott and Thomas were sitting in chairs.  Noel was there.  Noel, with her blonde hair sticking out of her headband and freckles in mass across her face, stood with a towel wrapped around her to dry her off from the river water. No Dad, though. 

            Noel smiled as she remembered, too.  “Well, like I said, I was scared.”

            At the hotel, Scott insisted that Noel go in and get checked into her room.  He was perfectly fine loading her luggage on the hotel's cart.  She returned just as he was closing her truck. 

            “Thanks for that,” she said pointing to the cart.  He nodded and started pushing it to the entrance.  Noel started to protest, but he gave her a look that told her not to baby him.  They successfully made it to the room, and Scott stood awkwardly as Noel pushed all of her stuff roughly onto the floor and shoved the cart back in the hallway.  When the door had closed, she skipped to the bed and fell onto her back letting the springs bounce her weight for a second.

            “I've haven't felt a bed in a while,” she said. Scott sat on the edge of the dresser across from the bed. 
            “Work keep you up a lot?”  Noel sat up and shook her head.  “What is it that you do?”

            “It's kind of ironic considering that I was not the best kid in school,” Noel slipped her shoes off and stretched her legs.  “I'm a guidance counselor at a high school.”

            The amused look on his face must have been very telling about Scott's thoughts because she reached back and grabbed a pillow to throw at him.  He caught it in the chest.

            “I saw that look, Scott Masters,” she stood up and walked towards her bags strewn across the floor.  “I'm a damn good one.”

            “I didn't say anything.”  He watched as she squatted by a bag and started pulling out toiletries. 

            “Hey, is Maria's cafe still around?”  Maria's was a huge after-school hangout that all of the kids used to go to after-school.  If you were lucky, you beat the crowd there because it was packed.   Pretty soon, the owner had to expand and create an outdoor area as overflow.  It soon only became a student hangout which made it a great alternative to other after-school options.

            “Yeah, it is, but the place closes at seven on the weekends. It’s kind of turned into a student clubhouse during the week.  You and I are too old to go there.” 

            Noel smirked.  “Curious. Well, I know I need a shower.  You should probably get one after I'm done.  Sorry, I don't have any boy clothes to offer you.”

            “I think I'll be fine.”  She smiled and headed into the bathroom. 

            “Don't you dare fall asleep,” she called out as she closed the door. 

            Scott mimicked Noel's earlier move and fell back onto the bed.  His head did ache a little.  He wasn't going to admit that to Noel, or she would ship him off to the hospital.

            Scott hadn’t thought about his cell phone during the events of the night, and only because it was vibrating against his leg now did he even remember that it was in his pocket.  He reached in and pulled the device out so he could see the screen.  Nine missed calls and seventeen texts.  Currently, he was receiving a call from Jeremiah Masters.  His father was the last person that he wanted to talk to, and there was nothing that could change that including a near-death accident; which this wasn’t.

            Scott tossed the phone next to him on the bed and sat up.  Weather he subconsciously meant to or it was by accident, his ears heard the flow of water in the shower stop and his eyes directed their focus to the bathroom door.  It wasn’t fully closed. A slight crack between the door and the frame caught his attention. He didn’t need great eyesight to see a glimpse of Noel exiting the shower.  Her skin glistened from the water droplets that had beaded on her skin. Scott glanced away.  It had been twelve years since he had seen her leave the town for what she said was forever.  Now, he was in a hotel with her.  Scott looked again.  She was facing away from him with her side to the door.  Reaching down, Scott watched her step into black panties and slide them up her shapely legs.  She wiggled as she pulled them up over her butt.  Damn. Scott what are you doing?  He stood up quickly and walked to the window.   They had a past for a reason.  These things didn’t need to be re-visited. 

            “Hey, I’m done.”  Scott turned around and tried to look like he hadn’t just spied on her.  He wasn’t sure it was working.  The feeling in the pit of his stomach wasn’t eased as she stood there in a cute light sweater and skirt.  Noel was still drying her hair.  “So, are you going to get a shower now or not?”

            Scott closed the door"all the way.  A shower would definitely help"maybe even the headache, too.  He slipped out of his clothes and stared at himself in the mirror.  He was dirty.  There was a dark bruise from the impact of the steering wheel during the crash.  He ran his finger over it and winced at the pain. Scott closed his eyes once the water started flowing over him.  He probably should have checked some of those texts.  He had left the house in the heat of the arguments going on in his house. 

            Hell, Scott.  I’m glad your mother isn’t alive to see what a screw up you’ve become. I literally don’t know what’s worse; the fact that you haven’t amounted to anything in your life or the fact that the only thing you managed to produce is an unplanned pregnancy.  Scott could give a little credit to the fact that his dad had been drunk, and for once in his life, Scott wasn’t. He just stood there and took it with his brother and sister awkwardly sitting in the living room.  Scott had a love/hate relationship with them.  He loved them because they were family, but hated them because they were perfect.

            Well, s**t, dad.  Thanks for telling me how you really feel.  Thanks for reminding me that I’m not the perfect kid like Sarah, the lawyer and Kevin, the accountant.  I’m a failure.

            No, Scott, you’re a screw up.  Failure just means you weren’t good enough to pass.  Screw-up means you have potential, but you’re too fucked up in the head to make it work.

            What do you call a man who makes everything in life work except his family?  What do you call a man who is the reason why his wife killed herself?  What do you call yourself?

            Scott hadn’t tried to duck the whiskey bottle that was thrown at his head. His dad was just too drunk to throw straight.  Both Sarah and Kevin had tried to stop him.  Talk with us.  Think things through.  You can come and live with one of us; start over.

            He felt like the water had surpassed its use in getting him clean now. He had been in the shower long enough. Scott started to dry off and put on his clothes when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

            “Um,” he said staring at the door wondering if it was going to open.  Do I want it to open? 

            “Hey, so I fully understand that you might feel awkward wearing this.  I have big sweatpants, and I do have an old floppy shirt that would work for you.”  Scott laughed. He opened the door slightly and stepped back.  Noel threw the clothes inside, and he closed the door.  Surprisingly, the shirt fit.  It was tight, but it made him look like he was wearing a muscle shirt.  The sweatpants were tight, but not awkwardly. 

            “Where did you get clothes this big?  You are not this large,” he called out. 
            “Thank you! My roommate is a basketball player.  Sometimes, our stuff gets switched in the laundry.  It is really awkward when she gets my clothes.” 

            Scott stepped out of the bathroom carrying his ball up clothes in hand.  Noel covered her mouth and laughed. 

            “They really do fit.  A little snug, but they fit.”  There was a twinkle in her eye.  “So, listen, I know you said that Maria’s closed at seven, but what if we grab food on the way and chill at the outside courtyard? Just for old time’s sake.” 

            She pleaded with her eyes.  Damn.  He nodded knowing that she wasn’t going to let him out of her sight anytime soon.  He grabbed his phone, and she grabbed her purse.  When they stepped out in the hall, she bit her lip and closed the door. 

            “I’d feel really bad if I didn’t tell you this, but the sweatpants"you know how girls wear ones with words on the butt?”  Scott froze. 

            “These sweatpants have a word on the butt?”  Noel nodded. 

            “It says ‘Juicy’.”

 

 

            Maria's was dark.  It was still fairly light outside thanks to the summer daylight savings time, and the two trespassers didn't have to stumble around too much in order to get to the back side of the establishment.  Scott carried a big bag of Chinese take-out with both hands as he followed Noel through the side alley that Maria's shared with another building.  He felt like they were young again; sneaking into a place where they shouldn't be. 

            The back of the restaurant was actually really beautiful.  A large grassy field looked over a lake two hundred yards from the building.  Noel climbed up the porch steps leading to the patio seating and sat down at a table with a contented look on her face.

            “I can't believe that this place still looks so nice.”

            “Yeah,” Scott said plopping the bag of food down on the table and sitting next to her.  “They've done some renovations inside, but for the most part, Maria's has stayed the same.”

            “She used to kick kids out for making out and having sex in the bathrooms, remember?” Noel laughed.  “She walked in when Tommy Roland had his pants down, and Patricia Wilford was just standing there looking at it as if she didn't know what to do.”

            “Tommy was gross anyway.”

            Noel reached in and grabbed the cartons of food.  “Wait.  I have to read my fortune cookie first.”

            She pulled one out of its package and cracked it open.  Scott watched as she read the small strip of paper while chew on the crunchy cookie. 

            “Ha!” Noel leaned her head back and laughed.  “It says ‘just around the corner is a reminder of your past.  A lesson awaits you’.  Congrats, you are officially my lesson.”

            “You’re sure it’s talking about me?” Scott joked.  She nodded.

            “I mean I did recognize the front desk agent from the hotel.  I think he might have been an usher at the church I used to get dragged to as a kid.”

            “So, why a school guidance counselor?” Scott asked while dishing some rice onto a small paper plate.

            “I guess because I wanted to help kids look at the bigger picture and not be afraid of what they would see.  I think that both of us can relate to that.  So many of those students that I deal with don’t know how to process the s**t that life throws at them, and I’m not saying that I have it all together.  I live in a small apartment in Philadelphia with a roommate who likes to bring guys home on the weekends and ship them off before Monday.  I frequent bars and clubs enough that bouncers and bartenders know my life, and I always leave a little too early so I can go home and binge watch TV shows on Netflix.  I probably should have some sort of religious or church life, and I don’t.  I haven’t talked to my mother in ten years, and my father is very comfortable with his new family.  The only one I have that is really reliable in my life is my sister, Grace.  She has kept me grounded. She's amazing. In fact, she's coming down tomorrow to meet up with me.”

            They sat for a moment and ate while watching the sky’s light slowly fading.  Noel snickered.

            “Well, I guess I gave you a mouthful of info about me.  How about you?  How have you been since…”

            Scott felt his phone vibrate again in his pocket.  He waited for it to stop, and then started to answer.  Once again, the phone began to vibrate.  Scott sighed and pulled it out.  He pushed the power button to turn it off.

            “Someone’s trying to reach you?  You don’t want to answer it?”  Scott shook his head.

            “It’s my dad, and I’m not in the mood to talk with him. Besides, I’m talking to you.  My life,” Scott slowly let a deep breath out.  “My life really isn’t the best example of success.  Went to college for about a year and got kicked out for doing drugs. Tried community college here and just didn’t feel like it was for me.  My dad got tired of having two amazing kids and a loser one; so he shipped me off to work for a friend of his in Texas at one of his business warehouses. Things went well for a while.  Made some good money and caught some attention while I was there.”

            “That sounds good.” Noel crossed her legs and leaned back as she listened. 

            “Yeah, see the attention I caught was from the boss’s daughter.”  Noel coughed and sat up. 

            “I take it back. This doesn’t sound good at all.”

            “Well, I got her pregnant.  My dad’s friend called him and told him I was a low-life son of a b***h, and if it wasn’t for the fact that his princess begged him not to do anything, he would have killed me.  Well, I somehow found my way back here after she got an abortion and told me that she didn't want to be with me anymore.”

            Scott sighed.  Why am I telling you this?  This isn’t the side I want you to see of me.  

            “I don’t talk about this with anyone.” Scott scratched his head.  “I feel like either you tricked me into talking, or you made me feel really comfortable about it; either way, though kids at your school don’t stand a chance.”

            “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” Noel said softly.  “And I don’t want you to think I’m trying to go all counselor on you.  We have a past, you know.  No matter what, I do care about you.  I want the best for you.”

            They were both quiet for a few seconds.  Only the sound of the crickets beginning to warm their legs to serenade the night echoed through the night view.  Noel slapped the table with her hand.

            “Speaking of the past, how about we hit up our high school?  There has to be something going on there where the doors are open, and we can get inside.”

            “Our old school? Wow, I haven’t been back there in a long time.”  Noel started packing up the take-out cartons.

            “Come on, let’s take a walk down memory lane.”

 

            Occasionally, some of the sports teams held summer sessions at the school, and football was a big thing for the town.  Scott remembered trying out for the football team, and the one year he was on it, they started practices in late July.  It was awful as a kid unless you were die-hard into football.  Scott was not that committed; a fact that his dad brought up time and again.  The man who watched games from noon until close to midnight on Sunday during football season and donated obscene amounts of money to college, high school, and middle school football teams saw his son as a loser in another facet of life. 

            He and Noel parked in a far corner of the school parking lot and walked around the side of the school to where the boy’s locker room door was open.  It was already late, and the team wasn't going to be out on that field much longer.

            “You’re pretty bad for a guidance counselor,” Scott said.  “Do you advise all of your girl students to sneak into the boy’s locker room?”

            “Only if there is hope for them to actually get a boy to like them.”

             Noel didn’t hesitate once they got to the door.  It was more than just wrinkle-your-nose type funk that permeated the room.  It was a fall-on-your-knees and throw-up-and-cry type smell.  Noel leaned against the wall and then jumped up. 

            “I really don’t want to subject myself to whatever disease is in here,” she gagged.  Scott laughed as they took light, but quick steps over the overflowing gym bags and damp floors.  Once they exited into the school, both of them leaned against the hallway wall and took deep breaths. 

            “Oh my God, I swear it didn’t stink that bad when I played,” Scott rubbed his watering eyes.

            “Oh, it probably did,” Noel placed a hand on his shoulder, “but you always cleaned up well, Scott.  So, nobody would have noticed from you.  Come on.”

            Briskly walking down the quiet hallway, the two of them ducked into the school auditorium.  It was empty.  The stage looked like it had been used to store random stuff that didn’t have a home anywhere else in the school. Noel flipped the lights on and the two of them walked to the front.

            “This was my home,” Noel twirled around with her arms out and head tilted back.  “There was a point in time that I wanted to be an actress.”

            “I remember.” Scott sat down and threw his legs over the arm rest of the chair.  “Ninth grade you tried out for the school play and landed Sandy in Grease.”

            “Aww, you remembered that?” Noel hopped up and sat on the edge of the stage.

            “You were in tight leather pants, and you had every guy wishing he was playing the lead male character.”  Noel blushed a little. 

            “Well, I was horrible at it,” Noel said.  “I don’t know why I chose a musical as my first play, too.  I can’t sing.”

            “You were pretty bad.” Scott laughed at her frown.  “But you still did it, and you still captured my attention.”

            Noel slid off of the edge of the stage.  She sat down next to Scott.

            “You were the only one I wanted to pay attention to me,” Noel said.  She stared at the stage.  “You and I were friends for so long, but I always think a part of me fantasized about liking you.  You were a constant in my life, and I didn’t have a lot of that with my family or life in general.”

            “We don’t have to talk about us, Noel.”  She nodded.

            “It was going to happen at some point anyway. Did you think we were going to see each other and not talk about how we left things?”  There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere.  A sickening feeling in the pit of Scott’s stomach made him feel like throwing up the Chinese food from earlier.  Noel didn’t look at him.  The truth was that seeing her again brought back feelings; feelings that he had stuffed down a long time ago.  She was the only person growing up that treated him as if she believed in him.  His father saw him as a loser, his brother and sister pitied him, his mother was embarrassed by him, and everyone else just saw him as a spoiled rich kid who would float through life and then fall flat.  He even believed that. 

            “It scared me to know that you liked me,” Scott admitted. “It scared me to know that I liked you.  I mean, I wanted to ask you to prom our senior year, and I bailed on that.”

            “I remember, I held out hope that you would ask.  Instead, I went with Elliott, and later that night, we heard that you had gotten busted with weed again.”  She shook her head.  “The typical bad boy.”

            She stood up and grabbed his arm.  Scott wasn’t sure where they were headed, but he followed her out of the auditorium and through the hallway.  They walked into the gym and into the middle of the floor.  It was late now, and the football team was definitely done by now.  It was dark in the gym, and Noel let her phone guide them.  She placed her phone on the floor and stood facing Scott as if waiting for him to do something.

            “Um, I’m lost, Noel.  What are we doing?”

            “I’m waiting for you to ask me to prom,” she said elbowing him in the side. “You don’t get these second chances often.”

            “Seriously?” Scott groaned putting his hands on his hips.  She leaned over as if whispering a secret.

            “Here’s a little tidbit of info.  I’m cool with guys in sweatpants that say ‘Juicy’ on the back.” 

            Scott shook his head. 

            “Good one.  Okay.  Noel, I was hoping that"you would go to prom with me.”

            Noel’s jaw opened as if she was surprised.  She mocked excitement; mouthing the word “me” and pointing to herself. 

            “I was not expecting that! Oh, Scott, of course I’ll go with you.” 

            She then reached down and grabbed her phone.  Pop music started playing from the tiny speakers.  She put the phone back on the floor and stood up.

            “Now, you ask me to dance.” Scott grabbed her hand. 

            “Noel, will you dance with me?”  She came closer to him and nodded.  He placed his hands on her waist and stared down at her feet to make sure he didn’t step on them.  Noel took a hand and put it under his chin.  She tilted his head so that he looked at her.

            “Look at me.”  He did.  Her eyes were beautiful.  Somehow, he had spent most of the night avoiding them. Had she been looking at him like this the whole time.  There was no hate or spite or pity.  Noel must have sensed what he was thinking.

            “I still believe in you, Scott.  That’s not going to change.”

            Without knowing he was going to do it, Scott leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. He slowly pulled her in close and leaned into the kiss.  Crap! Crap! Scott, what the hell are you doing!  He quickly pulled away and let her go.  Noel stood there almost expressionless. She didn’t break her gaze away from him. 

            “I’ve got an idea.”  She said it so matter-of-factually, he couldn’t tell if she was upset by the kiss or happy he did it.  Noel reached down and grabbed her phone. “Come on, we’ve got to go.”

 

           

           

            Scott sat watching the moonlight shine through the trees as Noel drove.  His head was still hurting.  It was a dull ache.  Nothing to worry about.  Noel had immediately turned the radio on and pumped up the music.  Scott fiddled with his phone and debated turning it on.  Maybe someone had found his car smashed against the tree.  More than likely, someone recognized it and had said ‘good riddance’. 

            “We’re almost there.”  Noel’s energy was evident. The road really didn’t register to Scott.  It was another backwoods country road, and there were a lot of those around.  The trees suddenly parted, and Scott suddenly knew where he was. 

            “The cabin.  I remember this cabin.  It was Elliott’s family cabin.  We used to come up here in the summers over the weekends.”

            “We had a lot of fun up here, didn’t we?” 

            Noel parked the car near the front door.  Scott stepped out of the car and took a deep breath of the fresh air.  The night air was cool, and the stars were shining in a cloudless sky.  They were close enough to where they could see city lights, but far enough away to only hear quietness.  It took him a moment to realize that Noel had disappeared.  The cabin looked a little ominous midst the dark background of the night.  The swing hanging from the large oak in front of the cabin had been replaced with a much sturdier one than the contraption they had used as kids. 

            Lights flickered on in the cabin, and the front door opened revealing the glowing face of his companion.  Noel held up a key in the cabin light.

            “I didn't think they would move the spare key from where they hid it when we were kids.  It was still in that fake rock beside the back porch. Not very easy to find at night, by the way.” 

            Scott closed the door behind him and watched as Noel started looking through the living room. 

            “I'm betting that there is something we can start a fire with,” she mumbled. 
            “You want to start a fire in the summer?”

            “Ambiance is everything,” she said looking back at him.  “I think there is some wood on the back porch.”

            Scott made his way out of the back door. There was plenty of wood actually. He grabbed an arm load.  She still hadn't said anything about the kiss.  Was he reading into this too much?  After dropping a second load of wood inside, Scott saw her appear from another room with a lighter and a box of fire starter.  She gave them to Scott, and in a couple of minutes, the fireplace had a flame growing in it.  Noel cheered and scampered over to shut the cabin lights off.  She jumped on the couch across from the fireplace and pulled her legs up onto the couch.  Scott sat down next to her. 

            “I really hope they aren't planning a trip up here tomorrow,” he said.  “They might be a little freaked out.”  Noel didn't seem to pay attention to what he said. 
            “There's something about a fire in a fireplace that makes everything right,” Noel said.

            “Growing up, we had four in the house,” Scott said.  “The only one that was ever lit was the one in my dad's office. When we were up here as kids was the only time I really felt like I was in a home.”

            “Yeah,” Noel agreed. Scott glanced at her.

            “And I always felt at home with you.” 

            Noel looked at him.  The firelight danced on the walls behind them.  She gave a faint smile and looked away, but she scooted close to him and laid her head on his arm.  They sat in silence for a moment with only the crackling of the flames to accompany them. 

            “I'm sorry,” he said softly. “I'm sorry for everything I did and said back then. You were the best thing that happened to me, and I shut you out.”

            “Shut me out?” Noel looked up at him.  “Scott, I came to you and told you that I loved you and would always love you, and you basically told me to go to hell. You literally told me to go to hell.”

            “Because you told me that if I didn't get my life right, I would never be happy,” Scott closed his eyes.  He remembered Noel walking up to him as he sat on the bleachers of the football field at school.  She was decked out in her graduation regalia, and he had a beer can in his hand.

            You missed graduation.  Why can't you just get over the pity party you keep having for yourself?  You act like the world is against you because your dad treats you like s**t.  My family life isn't the best either, but you don't see me walking around defeated.

            It had been her version of a pep talk.  Scott had looked at her in anger at the nerve she had to bring that up.

            Right, Noel.  You walk around pretending like you are walking on cloud nine, but you can live on wishes.  I'm not trying to do that.

            Noel stomped her foot and pointed at him with fire in her eyes.

            You are a sad little boy, Scott.  I love you.  I love you so much, and I always will; but if you don't get your act to together, you will never be happy.  You'll always make your sadness your best friend.

            Scott took a final drink of the beer in his hand. 

            Go to hell, Noel. I don't need your love.

            Staring at the fire now, Scott shook his head.

            “I threw away the only thing good in my life.”  Noel pulled away from him.  She placed her hand on his cheek.  Her soft hand cradled his cheek as she whispered. 

            “You didn't throw it away.  You just misplaced it.”

            Scott felt her lean forward and brush her lips against his.  She let them linger there as if waiting for him to accept that they were there.  He reached his hand around the back of her neck and parted her lips with his tongue.  Her breath quickened as she allowed him to control the formations of her mouth.  Scott felt his heart beat faster.  He felt her leg swing over his lap, and the weight of her body fall against his chest.  Her hand moved up to his head, and she ran her fingers through his hair all while locking her lips to his.  Her body was warm.  His headache that had been a dull thud in the back of his mind had disappeared.  Noel leaned back and moved her hands to his shirt.

            “Raise them,” she nodded to his arms.  He obeyed.  She slid his shirt off; careful not to touch his head wound.  Scott closed his eyes as she ran her hands down his chest and stomach.  There was love in every touch.  He had never experienced that feeling with any girl he had even been with.  Was this what it was supposed to feel like? 

            “Look at me.” Scott opened his eyes again.  Noel took his hands and pulled them to her breasts.  He felt a surge of energy fill his body as she guided his hands down the front of her body to her thighs straddling his lap. Scott felt her smooth skin as his hands went under her skirt and gripped her hips.  Noel kept her eyes fixed on his.  In one swift movement, he gently placed her on the couch next to him and laid her down. 

            “Go ahead,” Noel placed his hands back on her thighs, and he slid her skirt off. He ran his hands up her legs and torso until he stretched himself over her and his face was inches from hers.  Noel swallowed as he held her gaze; his hands on either side of her head. 

            “Scott, I will always love you.”

 

 

            The fire had died down to embers.  Noel lay asleep in Scott's arms.  He loved the feeling of her stomach rising and falling with his hand caressing it.  What a night.  This was crazy. The fact that Noel had been the one to enter into his eyes at just this moment was"fate? 

            Scott looked at the sweatpants laying on the floor. In the stripping of the clothes, his phone had come out of the pocket.  It was just in reach.  Scott slowly lifted himself over Noel and grabbed it.  Time to turn you on and see what hell awaits.  Twenty missed calls.  47 new messages.  All of the missed calls were from his dad. 

 

            Call one.    Stupid, son of a b***h. Answer the phone.

            Call two.    D****t, Scott.  You need to pick up.

            Call three.  I don't know what I did to deserve you.

            Call four.    Maybe you've finally found something worthwhile to do.

            Call five.   Your mother would be ashamed of you.

 

            Scott listened to every single voice mail left on the phone.  By number ten, his voice mail was full.  The phone went airborne and smashed into the brick by the fireplace.  Noel jolted awake.

            “Scott!  What's wrong?”  Scott moved her aside and stood up with his anger boiling.  His dad hated him so much that he had to leave messages on his phone telling him that he was nothing to the man.  Noel grabbed his hand.

            “Scott, talk to me!” 

            He looked at her.  Noel's faith in him was misplaced.  He wasn't worth it.

            Without warning, a sharp pain seemed to pierce his skull.  Scott went down to the floor on his knees with a shout.

            “Scott!”  Noel went down to his side.  She held him as he cried out and tried to suck in his breath to take away from the pain.  “Scott! Come on, we need to go.”

            He couldn't think.  The pain was blinding him.  Noel helped him up and onto the couch where he curled up in a ball.  She quickly slipped her shirt and skirt on and then gathered his clothes.  It took a lot of strength to get his on, but they did.  Noel held him as they walked out of the cabin and to the car.  

            “Ah! It hurts so bad!”  Scott gripped the sides of the seat when he sat in the passenger’s seat.  Noel ran around the front of the car and jumped in the driver's seat.  She spun the car around and sped back down the entrance to the cabin area. 

            “Take deep breaths, Scott.  I'll get you there.”  Her voice was calm, and he tried to focus as much as he could on the ignoring the pain.  He closed his eyes, and felt the car speeding up, taking curves as a fast speed, and swerving now and then. Minutes passed with Noel re-assuring him the entire way.  Then,

            “We're here, Scott!  Come on!”  Scott opened his eyes expecting to see the lights of a hospital emergency entrance.  There were no lights other than the ones from Noel's car, and they shone on the wreckage of a car smashed into a tree. 
            “What?” Scott couldn't manage to get out more than that.  Noel didn't respond.  She jumped out of the car and rushed over to get him. 

            “Scott, you have to trust me,” she grunted as she guided him to his car.  They walked over to the driver's side with the door still hanging open.  Scott eased down in the seat and allowed Noel to push him back in the seat. He was confused.  Noel seemed to know what was going on, but he couldn't understand.

            “What are you doing?  Why are we doing this?” He kept asking.  Noel reached around and fastened the seat belt across his body. 

            “It's okay, Scott,”  she placed her hand on his cheek.  “Listen to me, okay.”

            Scott turned his head to her and nodded.

            “Yeah,” he said.   Noel smiled softly and stroked his cheek.

            “Okay.  Okay, Scott.  You need to believe that I love you.  You need to believe that no matter what, you can drop this act where you only accept that you are worthless.” Tears flowed from her eyes.  “It isn't too late for you to have the love you need and want. Please.”

            Scott leaned into her hand.  Her eyes pleaded with him.  Tonight, for the first time in his life, he truly believed what she was saying.  He had pushed away every hope and blamed every mistake and dumb decision on the fact that he was under the curses of his father. 

            “You are loved,” Noel said as he looked into her eyes.  He nodded. His eyes began to feel heavy as the pain seemed to increase.

            “I know, Noel.  I know.  I love you.” 

            Noel nodded and smiled.  

            “Close your eyes, now.” 

 ------------

            Soft hands. Scott smiled at the thought of Noel's touch on his cheek.  His head hurt like a b***h, but at least that comforted him. 

            “Come on, Scott, open your eyes.”  Wait.  That wasn't Noel's voice.  That was definitely someone else.  Scott struggled to open his eyes.  The woman's figure was blurry.  The hair looked a little like Noel's.  The shape of her head.  The shape of her eyes.  Her touch.  His sight started to come into focus.  It wasn't Noel. 

            “Scott, are you okay?”  The woman looked away and called out, “Hey over here! He's awake!”

            “Noel?” Scott mumbled.  “Noel.”

            The woman stared down at him.  Tears formed in her eyes as she stood up.  His view of her was suddenly interrupted by several figures.  Firemen?  Paramedics?  Scott closed his eyes as he felt people working around him. 

            “I'm okay,” he said as hands started trying to get him out of the car.  “I'm fine. I'm not hurt.”

            “Just let us check you out, buddy. You've been in a horrible accident.”  Scott nodded as he was helped out of the vehicle.  It took some assistance, but he stood up straight and tried to get his bearings.  His car was smashed.  The passenger's door was ripped off.  The hood of the car looked like someone had taken a wrecking ball to it.  He stared at the front of car.  He hadn't hit a tree.  He had hit another car.  Scott shook his head.  Blood was on the broken windshield.  The driver's side was caved in.

            “No!  This isn't right! Wait!” Scott pulled away from the EMT and started walking back. 

            “Sir, you need to come with me,” the man said.  Scott pushed him away.  He hadn't hit a tree.  Entangled in the front of his car was the front of a blue Chevy Malibu.  Scott tried to fight his way to the wreckage, but more hands grabbed him and pulled him away and to an ambulance.  Scott looked around.

            “Where's Noel?  Where is she?”  The emergence responders tried to calm him down.  Finally, he saw it.  A stretcher.  A small form covered in a white sheet.  A naked wrist visible with the tattoo of Faith. Hope. Love.   A part of a black dress peeked out.

            Scott felt numb as he was checked out and asked questions.  He didn't answer.  He couldn't answer.  He didn't know what had happened.  How could this have happened when she was just with him?  Her hand had been on his face. Her lips had touched his.  She had told him that she loved him. 

            “We're going to take you to the hospital for further testing, sir.  Just climb on in here.”

            Scott did so; numbly.  His chest felt heavy.  His throat felt raw.  His head hurt. 

            “Wait! Please!  I am going with him.  I'm a doctor.”  Scott heard a woman arguing with the emergency staff.  Finally, he saw her step into the back of the ambulance with him.  She was the one he had seen when he opened his eyes in the car.  She looked very similar to Noel. 

            “Noel,” he thought out loud as he fought to forget the images he just saw.  The woman reached out to him.

            “Scott,” she said softly. He looked up to see tears in her eyes.  She was crying, but trying to hold it in.  “Noel is dead.  She"she was killed"on impact.”

            Scott felt his stomach turn.  Noel was dead.  The woman continued.

            “Please, Scott.  You"you knew my sister.”  Scott looked up at her.  The woman's eyes pleaded with him just like Noel's had.  “You knew Noel. She once told me that I would meet you someday, and that we would help each other.”

            “No"Noel's sister?” Scott frowned.  Was he hearing this right?  The woman nodded and wiped away a few tears.

            “My name is Grace.”

 

--------------------------

 

 

            The day was beautiful.  Sunshine beamed through the trees and cast fun shadows on the ground.  It was something she would have enjoyed. She would have loved it.  Scott was sure of it. 

            “You sure you want to do this?” Scott sat in the passenger’s seat of the rental looking out of the windshield.  In response, he opened the door and stepped out in the summer afternoon.  Grace followed suite and stepped out of the car.  Scott knew this was harder for her, but somehow, she seemed to be taking this better than he. 

            The two of them walked across the road to where just two weeks ago Scott was pulled from the scene of a head-on collision with his childhood best friend and Grace’s sister, Noel.  It was surreal.  Something happened that night that changed Scott forever, and for one last time, he just wanted to be here to remember Noel’s voice telling him that she loved him.

            Grace had listened.  Noel said she was good at that.  In the midst of setting up funeral arrangements for her sister in New York, Grace had also been at the hospital visiting him for the two days he was kept there.  She listened to his story, which seemed so unbelievable as he told it; but she just smiled and cried as if she knew that he was telling the truth.

            “It all sounds like her,” Grace had said.  “And I don’t know how, but I feel like it was her one last good thing she could do; one last time to let you know that you were loved.”

            Scott reached out and grabbed Grace’s hand now as they stared at the accident area.  He cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

            “Noel, I wonder if you can hear me.  I just want to let you know that you changed my life.  In one night, you changed my life. Thank you for loving me.” 

            He looked over at Grace who had tears flowing down her cheeks.  She was smiling though. 

            “Big sis,” she choked out.  “I love you so much.  You always said that you would make this world a better place, and you did.  Even up to your last breath.  I will continue that legacy.  I promise.”

            Scott squeezed her hand, and Grace leaned into his embrace.  They were leaving.  Boarding a train to Philadelphia for Noel’s funeral, and for Scott, a new beginning.  Grace knew of a friend who needed a foreman for his construction business, and she offered for him to stay in the second bedroom of her apartment until he got his own.  He was leaving this town, and this time, it was for good.  Leaving his past, his mistakes, his father’s curse over him, and his curse over himself.

            “You ready to go,” Grace said softly.  Scott was ready.  He finally ready.

            “Yeah,” Scott said.  “Let’s go.”