Internet Dating (Generational Psychology)

Internet Dating (Generational Psychology)

A Poem by Cahjli Symes
"

El Garbage Ldabarge.

"
Let's take a s**t on the floor
and dance in the rain.
I'm f*****g tired,
f*****g wired.
Got a knife in my brain.

She twists the handle in my ears,
the next thing confirmed my fears.
The body language, never ever matched her voice.
I know what she's thinking.
No matter what, she's annoyed.

I'm an unstable f*****g
loser who loves to hide away.
Got no job, got no money, yet no support for my life.

A sea of
inconsistency,
I have goals, you don't care.
I'm not a human being.
I'm just a nervous f*****g wreck.
The more I think, the more I die.

Yet I talk a lot.
To bring up topics on world issues,
to debate and smile.
Misunderstood and told I'm negitive, cause I'm passionate.
I swear its all for fun.
But the world's so convoluted.
Nothing to say, I'm f*****g done.

Your superficial f*****g dramas never interested me.
Neither your basic f*****g lifestyle, or your pseudo-social dating games.

Within this sea of inconsistence
I'm seen as crazy, yet I'm boring.
I'm awkward and annoying,
Cause I'm broke and insecure.

Conditioned since was young.
Was treated bad just for fun.
All through my life growing up,
now a reflection of my mind.

I rather die than go outside
into a dark world full of lies,
and hypocritical inconsistences
of a mislead generation.

I'm a worthless s**t.


© 2016 Cahjli Symes



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Mmm, I have to say this piece is all over the place. I'm not sure I'm following the overall message here. Some of the grammar bugs me because it seems pointless like here, "Got no job, got no money, yet no support for my life." The word yet made me stumble. Also here, "Your superficial f*****g dramas never interested me." Supposed to be "you're." I also felt this line could have been drawn out because I'm left with questions like what drama? What's a basic lifestyle to you? What is a pseudo social dating game? And I'm kind of missing the connection between self and generation. Perhaps establish that a bit more clearly. I'm having trouble being convinced your experience speaks about a generation.

I liked the second and fourth stanza. I get this picture of someone on a date with an internet lover and it not working out because of insecurities and misunderstandings.

So thanks for sharing.

LL

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


be little more moderate . you can use better words to express your anger. but in its aesthetics of anger and frustration it is wonderful.well done . write more .

Posted 10 Months Ago


Wow - a lot of anger, tension and built up agression in this. Well written - An emotionally filled piece.

Mark.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 25, 2016
Last Updated on December 25, 2016

Author

Cahjli Symes
Cahjli Symes

Cloud City, FL



About
Hi my name is Cahjli and I write poems,screenplays and lyrics. Hope you enjoy :D more..

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