Swirling Darkness

I'm playing that game again 

The one where I tell a lie 

To box up my true feelings 

So I won't have to face them 

The box is so 

Dark and slimy 

It swirls 

With ugly words 

It stays in the back 

Of my head 

But any word or phrase 

Can get it to rattle and shake 

But this time 

It broke open 

Escaped the binding chains 

And attacked 

Filling me up 

With darkness  

Overflowing

With salty tears 

It makes me feel 

Alone 

And ugly 

Useless 

I want to be strong 

I want it so bad 

But I can't 

Not this time 

I want to say i'm fine 

Want it to be true 

But I can't 

Not this time 

I want to tell them 

How much it hurt 

But I can't 

Not ever 

So I sit here 

Overtaken 

By the monster 

In my mind 

Struggling to push it away 

Box it in 

Chain it up 

And never see it again

Author's Note

i just wrote this after someone said an extremely bitchy thing to me. this poem helped... a little.

Reviews

[Felecia]

I know exactly how you feel. I've been put down by someone who was insecure themselves, and was just letting me down to make themselves feel better. I've learned to not let it bother me anymore, or get sad or upset over it. I like to think, that even if you keep your reaction hidden, they'll have to guess if they hurt you or not. I refuse to ever give people the satisfaction of that.
I felt exactly how you've sad in this poem. I've wanted to tell people my feelings, but I feel that it's useless. That I'm "complaining" There's been times where when I tell people my feels, that's how it's been discribed as. "Complaining." So I tried by best to shut it out. Keep my mouth shut, but I always opened up again.
You and I seem to be alike, aha. But please, stay strong. I hate to see someone else upset...

[Rhea752]

Oh... well the girl who did the to me has always been a meanie weenie bobini turn her into a frog Houdini. the controversial part is she is my best friends sister.

[Felecia]

Ah. That sounds like a problem...well i hope things work out for you. if you even need to talk, just message me :)

[Blue Belle]

Love your poem. It was quite interesting. Take Care! Stay Strong! :)

[MOON]

Cutting remarks , words do hurt and the helplessness intense. Poignant write you expressed the feeling well.

[ROSALIND]

And by the way I really liked the title excellant work

[ROSALIND]

Ah I wonder if it was that same horrible abusive guy that ran me into the ground.
anyway yes i find writing releases the tension within, me too.
keep up the good work....

[Rhea752]

ahhh.. no it was someone else. i am very sorry that that man has targeted you. i have read your writing and you are a great writer. don't believe anything he says.

[Erin Thomas]

I hate it when that happens.. Find your voice and confidence and nothing can touch you. To me, it took the idea that "I'm me and that's all I will ever be" (I think it's from Dr. Suess). When people don't like me, I don't change me I assess myself and just help try to find a solution to their problem. It's difficult and I can't always do it. Be honest with yourself and others. This poem was a great way to do that! Good job! Keep writing and being you!!!

[Rhea752]

Thank You :)

[Tai Ryens]

Hm, intense poem with bottled emotions leaking out.

[Sarah W. French]

Very beautiful poem. i feel this way quite often and you put it in a simple way. Great poem!

[Rhea752]

Thank You :)

[Heromen Selena]

It's very powerful. Keep up the lovely work.

[Rhea752]

Thank You

[♥ Kinnixk]

I feel the monster too...I hate it as well xD. I loved this. Keep it up; you have a talent for writing :)

[Rhea752]

Thank you :)

[♥ Kinnixk]

You're welcome ^.^