"Broken Butterfly"

"Broken Butterfly"

A Poem by richieb
"

A man burdened with the loss a his wife and daughter"

"
              He stood a gentle man
                a wanderer
              Haunted by conflict
               A bearer of distress

               His shabby cap shadowed
                A drifters face
               His harmonica spoke of
               looming pain

              The notes floated through
               the dusk and shadows
              yearning to raise
               Wounded, as a broken butterfly

              He strolled the town
               eyes distant
               A lone knight seeking
               a veiled bridge to cross

               Children followed and mocked him
               Laughing and teasing
               He played a song of fallen petals
               and withered vines

               Everyday he paid homage
               in the cemetery 
               The gravestone marked
                Wife and daughter

                He followed the train tracks
                on a dark and desolate night
                Chasing a quest, only he
                 understood

                A speeding locomotive, muscle
                and might
                A whoosh of wind
                Diamonds and rubies explode

                Stars blink and the moon
                smiles
                Music travels through the twilight
                Angels kiss a broken butterfly




                
              
                  


© 2016 richieb



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Featured Review

richieb,
"Broken Butterfly"
"He stood, a broken man, a wanderer." The opening gives this one a picture for me as the reader to focus. He is a wanderer and as the story unfurls it makes sense to see him processing through his wandering footsteps.
"His harmonica spoke of looming pain." I can understand how music provides companionship and solace in this setting.
"A lone knight seeking a veiled bridge to cross." and "Children followed and mocked him." I wondered when I read this if they knew of his loss?
Quite a story you are building!
"He followed the train tracks on a desolate night...chasing a quest only he understood." and "A speeding locomotive...a whoosh of wind. diamonds and rubies explode." The ending here is reassuring in it's twinkling beauty.
"Stars blink, moon smiles. Music travels through the twilight. Angels kiss a broken butterfly.
He is in heaven where he belongs. It sounds perfect.
Blessings,
Kathy



Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

1 Month Ago

Kathy,
What a wonderfully constructed review. If we all reviewed .. read more
Kathy Van Kurin

1 Month Ago

This poem was so precious in it's transparency of heart. The rawness of your subject really moved th.. read more



Reviews

richieb,
"Broken Butterfly"
"He stood, a broken man, a wanderer." The opening gives this one a picture for me as the reader to focus. He is a wanderer and as the story unfurls it makes sense to see him processing through his wandering footsteps.
"His harmonica spoke of looming pain." I can understand how music provides companionship and solace in this setting.
"A lone knight seeking a veiled bridge to cross." and "Children followed and mocked him." I wondered when I read this if they knew of his loss?
Quite a story you are building!
"He followed the train tracks on a desolate night...chasing a quest only he understood." and "A speeding locomotive...a whoosh of wind. diamonds and rubies explode." The ending here is reassuring in it's twinkling beauty.
"Stars blink, moon smiles. Music travels through the twilight. Angels kiss a broken butterfly.
He is in heaven where he belongs. It sounds perfect.
Blessings,
Kathy



Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

1 Month Ago

Kathy,
What a wonderfully constructed review. If we all reviewed .. read more
Kathy Van Kurin

1 Month Ago

This poem was so precious in it's transparency of heart. The rawness of your subject really moved th.. read more
Master storyteller of the plight of the broken people, the lost and the suffering ones.excellent imagery and descriptive language.Tugs the heartstrings for this grieving, tragic man playing a "song of fallen petals and withered vines" as he travels on to a lonely destiny. Kudos!

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

5 Months Ago

Thank you Annette for your kind words. Your review is an inspiration to me.
.. read more
Aloha richieb, this is so graceful and tender. Beauty in his mourning. I enjoyed this very much. Mahalo for this gorgeous writing. Izzy

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

5 Months Ago

Thank you Izzy for a very considerate review. I appreciate you reading my poem. Aloha.. read more
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Zoe
This is just beautiful! The words truly convey the feelings. Glad to have read it. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

6 Months Ago

Thank you so much Zoe for the positive review. I truly appreciate it.
.. read more
Zoe

6 Months Ago

most welcome
Thank you Richie, for sharing this poem. I understand this poem to a greater depth.

"Chasing a quest, only he understood"

So true....however whatever is conveyed in the poem does move me.

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

7 Months Ago

Thank you Invisible for your kind comments. I am pleased the poem moved you.
.. read more
"Stars blink and the moon smiles
Music travels through the twilight
Angels kiss a broken butterfly" Beautifully written!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

8 Months Ago

Thank you Guilla, I appreciate your comments.
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Gee
Beginning brought Mr Bojangles to mind....enjoyed this Richie

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

9 Months Ago

Gee.
You are right it does have a Mr. Bojangles flavor to it. I am glad you l.. read more
This is really beautiful poem! It makes me think of my mom and how I am actually a broken butterfly myself. Really enjoyed reading this!

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

10 Months Ago

Diamond Dunbar,
Thank you for your kind words. I am s.. read more
I love this stanza:
The notes floated through
the dusk and shadows
yearning to raise
Wounded, as a broken butterfly

It seems to capture so much of this tortured soul's yearning...and in a way, it's seen through the music
I also loved this stanza:
Stars blink and the moon
smiles
Music travels through the twilight
Angels kiss a broken butterfly
It is incredibly poignant and beautiful...and again, the message is carried on music. Really enjoyed this piece.


Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

11 Months Ago

ReedWrite,
Thank you for the thoughtful review. I am glad you.. read more
Wow, this rendered me so thoughtful, you spoke this with such tenderness and grace, amazing...

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

1 Year Ago

Poppy,
Thank you for your kind words, I.. read more

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Added on May 16, 2016
Last Updated on May 16, 2016

Author

richieb
richieb

Shelby, OH



About
I am a steelworker with 34 years experience looking forward to retirement in 3years. I want to start writing short stories and maybe try a novel. want to be part of a writing group that offers suppor.. more..

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