WHAT AM I?: Nephilim WHAT AM I?: Nephilim
A teen boy gets killed, but trades his soul for another chance. He changes. A girl notices the new boy with silver eyes.
"Basil's Longing"

"Basil's Longing"

A Story by richieb
"

Man dealing with loss.

"
                 Basil's daily walk would always take him past the high school fields. Basil looked forward to watching the local team practice or playing an opponent. Watching from the background, he instinctively focused to the player on the mound.
                 Through a narrowed stare he slowed down the pitchers movements. The wind-up,leg kick, delivery and follow through were each caught in a still picture. He trained on the path of the ball, tensing at the sound of horsehide crashing into the catchers glove.
                The pitcher's actions stirred youthful memories in Basil's tall lean frame.Through his intense gaze, he transcended into the pitcher. In visual thought he raised his arms, pivoted his hips, drawing his left knee waist high and whipped his arm past his right ear.
                   He heard the explosion of the ball whistling into the catchers mitt. Basil understood the dance and relished the music only for the chosen.
               The afternoon sun warmed him, filling the lines on his neck with perspiration. His leathery face softened, creasing as he smiled. A cool breeze touched his cheeks and filled his nostrils. Once more he savored the blessings of the wind and sun.
                Basil brought his arms together, his left hand cupping the cold stiff fingers of his right hand. Pressing gently, he could not close his grip. The sweat on his back chilled him, his chest heaved and once more his vision became hollow. He reached for his youthful gift only to find pain and remorse.
              The accident, unforgiving, acting like a balliff tapping him on the shoulder, pressing Basil forward and removing him from his dream. Basil's face darkens, despair and anger flood his thoughts. The shadows beckon him as he walks away.

                 


© 2016 richieb



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Featured Review

I'm always happy to find one of yours that I haven't read yet! *smile* This is a very sobering piece. I can relate more than you can know. Due to a neck injury, I have not been able to do my favorite outdoor pastime (hiking) in about a decade. Living in the boondocks, I have flashbacks of how it used to feel to be able to suddenly scale a tall mountain if that's what struck me at the moment. I love the way you've included so many sensory details that help the reader actually FEEL how it must've felt. Now I want to write something in a similar vein about how it feels to want to hike again! *smile* Great job on this, both in the concept & in the development.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

5 Months Ago

Thank you Barleygirl for the indepth review. I enjoy hearing from you, it always makes my .. read more
barleygirl

5 Months Ago

FIRST-TIME G-PARENTS!!!! That's a huge thrill & I can feel your anticipation from here! Thanks for s.. read more



Reviews

I'm always happy to find one of yours that I haven't read yet! *smile* This is a very sobering piece. I can relate more than you can know. Due to a neck injury, I have not been able to do my favorite outdoor pastime (hiking) in about a decade. Living in the boondocks, I have flashbacks of how it used to feel to be able to suddenly scale a tall mountain if that's what struck me at the moment. I love the way you've included so many sensory details that help the reader actually FEEL how it must've felt. Now I want to write something in a similar vein about how it feels to want to hike again! *smile* Great job on this, both in the concept & in the development.

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

5 Months Ago

Thank you Barleygirl for the indepth review. I enjoy hearing from you, it always makes my .. read more
barleygirl

5 Months Ago

FIRST-TIME G-PARENTS!!!! That's a huge thrill & I can feel your anticipation from here! Thanks for s.. read more
Aloha Richie, I enjoyed this. Somber but well written! This actually reminded me of a boy I grew up with who was an incredible pitcher and was scouted and moved to Atlanta his career was over in a heartbeat with a torn rotary cuff.

The way you write with detail really makes a story come to life for me,watching the pitch as you take us from wind-up to delivery is brilliant you can feel it & hear it. It must be devastating to realize that this thing loved so much is now lost to him. This realization makes me feel closer to Basil somehow. His bitterness is deeply felt as he walks away. Izzy

Posted 5 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

5 Months Ago

Aloha Izzy,
Basil is Tommy's father in this story. The stor.. read more
Poor Basil, he never accepted losing the ability to perform his passion. I don't know how I would be if I lost my ability to write; probably pretty bitter like Basil. I really like how you included so much sensory information in this short story. It's not usual to go through (for instance) the entire movements of a pitcher throwing a ball, but in Basil's case, I imagine that he would go through those motions, noting each in his mind, and reliving it as he watched. Very good

Posted 10 Months Ago


richieb

10 Months Ago

Thank you for your review, Basil is a character in a novel I am writing. Hopefully I wo.. read more
D. Connolly

10 Months Ago

don't even get me started on George Martin...
Very beautiful and somber. I really feel Basil's pain. I like the details you put into this story. They make it feel real and add to the tone.

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

10 Months Ago

Hannah,
Thank you for reading and giving a thoughtful review. It is good to hea.. read more
You tell a beautiful story. I like the way it's expressed. Keep it up. :)

Posted 10 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

10 Months Ago

Thank you Kunal,
I appreciate your comments, they are in.. read more
This sounds so much like one of my brothers. He was a pitcher and even tried out for the Detroit Tigers. A good pitcher but not enough speed. He felt like this guy. Valentine

Posted 10 Months Ago


If I'm not mistaken, this is a re-upload. I remember seeing the title before, and some of the story's details are familiar with me. But anyway, this story is very impactfully somber. I feel for Basil, and I'm not looking forward to the day when my youth seems like nothing more than a memory. You've done very well at making Basil's feeling very real and haunting.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

richieb

11 Months Ago

Clifford,
I cleaned up a messy beginning of this story with additional minor change.. read more
Clifford

11 Months Ago

I look forward to it!

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Added on October 30, 2016
Last Updated on October 30, 2016

Author

richieb
richieb

Shelby, OH



About
I am a steelworker with 34 years experience looking forward to retirement in 3years. I want to start writing short stories and maybe try a novel. want to be part of a writing group that offers suppor.. more..

Writing
"FAITH" "FAITH"

A Poem by richieb



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