Crisis at Christmas

Regarding Rudolph's ruddy nose,

This scandal I will now expose.

That he's a lush nobody knows,

And alcohol is why it glows.

Each passing year the problem grows.

He steers them wrong, delivery slows,

And Santa, facing mounting woes,

Attempts to drinking ban impose.

But tempted by adoring does

And toasted by the Eskimos,

He further off the wagon goes

And guzzles till the taverns close.

                  * * * * *

Too often Rudolph led the sleigh

With mind in drunken disarray.

He constantly would lose his way

And guide the other deer astray.

Warned Santa, "If next Christmas Day

You're tipsy, you'll receive no pay."

Though Rudolph promised to obey,

He broke his vow, to much dismay.

                  * * * * *

With routes to follow now a guess,

And presents left at wrong address,

And children missed in great distress,

Poor Santa feels enormous stress.

They'll Christmas contract lose, unless

They solve this far from merry mess.

So straining brains that they possess,

The elves and Santa reassess.

Eureka!  Soon they have success,

And this announce to worldwide press:

Technology all kids should bless,

'Cause Santa's bought a GPS.