The Unemployed: Now even more self absorbent

Fear and loathing on a Southern California beach

It’s crowded in my head these days as I search for enlightenment. That is, when I’m not searching for a job. Both Yoda and Grasshopper are here. And they’re not alone. Doubts, regrets and self loathing are here as well, flitting about like bats hunting insects in dusky autumn skies.

So how do I keep the bats at bay? The Japanese practice directed focus and meditation, but I just run. And with so much free time, I can run for hours, crushing those little devils with every step.

From my have-not hamlet of Hawthorne, Calif., I drive to the coast, just minutes away, and then step onto Los Angeles County’s sandy frontier. I like to say I practice urban “beachfare.” It’s a ring-less circus of high school parties, volleyball games, extended families, strolling lovers and even fishermen. Weekends are the worst. It’s as if the Southern California megalopolis finally had enough and vomits a portion of its masses onto the grubby, sad strip.

Yet somehow I find peace as I run this living, swarming obstacle course. The Pacific’s rhythmic roar overpowers the din within and without. Its green, briny waves curl and crash, and then spread out like a white foaming carpet onto the shore: A cosmic mahalo �" both hello and good-bye �" reminding me that my visit is a short one, at best.

With each uneven, soggy step, I tell my story. And the beach absorbs each word, acknowledging my existence with a long string of size 12 footprints, chronicling my efforts for a few moments, but then wiping them away.

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Another masterpiece in my mind I felt i was there running with you on that beach, i loved the description of the beach who was there and why and how and loved all of it, words fail me.
thanks for entering this into my happy or saddest time or both competition, good luck

[barleygirl]

There are some parts of this I cannot understand & the opening was a little slow for me becuz of this. But once we got onto the beach, your story turned into a brilliant masterpiece of sardonic observations. I have always sought places where not many other humans go, so I can barely fathom the pleasure in going to some crowded LA beach! You’ve nailed it with such fun, exaggeration-to-the-point-of-being-funny fun (my favorite kind). “Urban beachfare” is a great phrase, too. Nice flash of entertaining writing (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Onlyme]

How one can connect with the pounding of the footsteps as you steadily rhythmical run around your favourite pathways you like to take. And how your mind, body and soul. Connect and you are at one with the world. And all around. And everything just turns into a haze. And the peace and serenity you find are held within. And you are at one with yourself more.

[Judas Hammer]

I used to do the same thing in Long Beach. this story connected on many level. This short tale speaks volumes. Very good write and I have crushed those little demons running many times. Up at Balboa park I did "Park warefare".....

[Tardisbaby]

I really like the voice in this. It seems just with your ability to comment on various things that you would be good a creative non-fiction. Sorry if that sounds weird, but you did do a fantastic job on this. So...yeah. kudos to you.

[KAOlmsted]

I really love your voice. Your writing is exquisite. Each and every word has purpose. I am --involved-- in the reading of your work. It brings me to that place in my mind that sits back and says, "yeah...that was good." I love that place. You have an enormous amount of talent. Thank you so much for being here.

[Richard John Davis]

Wow what a great review. I am terrible at reviews.
I wish I could better express how much I enjoyed your writing.

[KAOlmsted]

Aw, thank you...you just did.

[Steven]

"Weekends are the worst. It’s as if the Southern California megalopolis finally had enough and vomits a portion of its masses onto the grubby, sad strip."

and

"With each uneven, soggy step, I tell my story. And the beach absorbs each word, acknowledging my existence with a long string of size 12 footprints, chronicling my efforts for a few moments, but then wiping them away."

were brilliant my friend. Time can be an enemy when our use of it is an involuntary playing of negative impressions. So running, physically, mentally, away from time's insistence is a way to stay sane, to stay alive. I dug this.