Two Poems (Written Simultaneously)

yin vs. yang? up vs. down? yes vs. no?....Right!!

Two Poems (Written Simultaneously)

 

Given my sunny day walk through all these dripping alleyways,

(an analogy for my speed through the absolute abuse)

I’m resigned to have frustration as a constant partner to dance.

(can this possibly leave me sated, hated by a hangman’s noose?)

 

Some say summer can seem so charmed, making loving magical,

(when the fires of hell are this diverse, where’s the golden now?)

With days that are likely sunny and glowing resolute in its wake.

(is this what death is really like, and must I do it now?)

 

Isn’t this what summer is, so bright and green and gold and hot?

(why is life ambiguous when death is so clearly not?)

 

dan ©2014

 

 

 

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

This is brilliant Dan! Two different poems but somehow intertwine so well together.

[dan]

Nadia, I had severe writer's block and was looking for any gimmick to jump start my poetic side. I tried this and it somehow worked, still don't know exactly how. Usually throwing things at the wall to see what sticks doesn't work in writing; in desperation strange things sometimes happen. Thank you for the read/review. take care...dan

[Olivia]

i like this a lot.
The two poems would be good on their own but so powerful together.
I am impressed again.

[dan]

Olivia, I wrote this when I was totally blocked. This was a shot in the dark, a gimmick designed to get something, anything, written. I'm very happy you like it, thanks so much. I'm sorry I haven't reviewed any of yours in awhile, I have been sick. take care...dan

[....................]

It's has if you are having a conversation with yourself after each line you write. I love it!

[dan]

Thank you so much. I have bookmarked your page and will try to return the favor as soon as possible. take care...dan

[MsJewel]

Dan, this is amazing. Truly a creative masterpiece!

:) Julie

[dan]

Julie, I was actually blocked and had to resort to a gimmick; never did I know it would be so well received. Nice to hear from you, as always. take care...dan

[Jamestown]

Great piece of work and obviously well thought out! I have to admit, I'm very
impressed! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[dan]

Every once in a while I have to resort to gimmicks to do a write. This one happened to work out. Thank you for your kind words. take care...dan

[A Glow in the Pit of My..]

Great read, I love simultaneous poems and using parentheses and little footnotes and side comments through out my own writing. I'm surprised I haven't more of your work on here yet. I'll be sure to do so :)

[dan]

Thank you! And I have bookmarked your page so I can return the favor of a read/review. take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

My eye balls just popped out, you know, like those cartoon sensations, where they go out so far, then pop back in?

You have taken poetry to another realm, my friend...and what a fantastic voyage! Two thumbs up for me!


My best,
Kelly

[dan]

Kelly, Thanks so much for your kind words. I need to get around to reviewing more of your stuff (and others'); I've been a little under the weather lately, have neglected my reviewing duties, which I will rectify. Nice to hear from you, as always. take care...dan

[Kelly Scheppers]

You just take care of yourself...don't worry 'bout me!

[Roshan Nair]

I havent encountered this style ever before dan. this is truly unique to me... the blending yet the way in which each piece stands out.. the dichotomy.. I can't actually describe its beauty much but its turned out as 2 movies playing together in my head. cheers! great work!

[dan]

Roshan, No worries, I can't even describe it myself other than to say I had serious Writer's block and tried this gimmicky structure. Thankfully it seems to have worked. take care, my friend...dan

[Cryingkate]

You win ! Most original award !
I love bending the mind but this is the ultimate!

[dan]

Kate, Thank you very much. I was seriously blocked when I wrote it, this was born more out of desperation than inspiration, kind of a "Hail Mary Pass," if you will. (or even if you won't 8^)) take care...dan

[Cryingkate]

Amazing.. Then perhaps it could be said that this was carved out by determination?
If so how fitting. To be in the center of a parallel.

[dan]

As opposed to my normal feelings of being at the center of confusion. 8^) Thanks so much for your review and reply. take care...dan

[~]

A poem that asks really good questions, a Hamlety type I must say. I would dare to say it is almost as a cerberus guarding the thistled mind of this poet.

[dan]

ms, I must confess that I don't know what a Cerberus is but I trust it is something good? And the term "thistled mind..." Can I steal that? I guess if I get permission it's really not stealing? How's this for a lot of questions? Are they rhetorical or substantive? Who knows? Thanks for your read/review; I need to get around to reviewing some more of yours, and I will. Thanks for the review and kind words. take care...dan

[~]

Cerberus is the two headed dog that guards the underworld according to Greek mythology. I thought of that because of your two tones poem. Yes, definitely you can use all the thistles :) :)