pain (times) 8

an attempt to add 8 lines to Project Monster M*a*s*h

pain (times) 8

 

he stretched his wings so furiously as he

watched the plane go down.

he wore his mask of desperation,

complete with the phony frown.

the tragedy he’s living now gives him

his macabre glow;

he displayed the blade triumphantly just so

everyone would know.

 

dan © 2015

Author's Note

This is an attempt to add my 8 lines to Project Monster M*a*s*h

Reviews

[...]

Dan this is really cool :) I already read the other reviews so don't tell me it's a compilation lol...It's still cool so finish it, my friend

[dan]

I sent you an invite for the group Dopest. When you go there you can see the whole compilation, Project Monster M*A*S*H*. You can check it out. Everyone had to kick in 8 lines about anything. Not my best work. Thank you for the positive review. take care...dan

[Robert]

This is interesting Dan buts it reads incomplete. I'm assuming there is more to this before and after. You have me intrigued let me know when its finished.. I did enjoy what I read though.

[dan]

This was written hurriedly in a few minutes; it is part of a project called Project Monster M*A*S*H* for a group I belong to (Dopest); all members were asked to submit 8 lines on any subject to be compiled with the others. I wasn't going to do it but decided to anyway; this is NOT one of my proudest literary moments. Thank you for the review nonetheless. take care...dan

[Robert]

What you wrote was good. It will be interesting to see all others combined.

[MsJewel]

The images you have created are so vivid they feel real - Your words are haunting Dan. I would love to read the final poem. Please send me a RR when it's finished. Great work my friend.

Julie

[dan]

I'll try but I don't even know if a finished product will be sent to me. This is not a real organized operation, but I will try. Thank you for the review, especially considering I don't much like the write myself. But I am definitely grateful for your kind words. take care...dan

[Devons]

I see that this is intended as part of a larger compilation of others combined work, but I think this piece stands very proudly alone in itself. There is an openness in meaning that is provocative with a feeling of atmospheric tension. It's quite Gothic in nature; the picture created is somehow disturbing in a kind of suggestion of an event or feeling personified in some kind of devil or harbinger - something like the Wraiths in Lord of the Rings.
A very good piece of writing - the subtly lyrical style is conveyed with a deft touch.

[dan]

Devons, Thank you so much for your delightfully detailed review. I wrote this piece in a big hurry and was actually not too happy with the result, but the positive reviews I've received makes me want to call this an accidentally decent write. Thanks again for your compliments, but I hope that my ego doesn't outgrow my head. 8^) take care...dan

[Devons]

You'll survive, I think..

[Crystal Overmeyer-Birmi..]

I see the angel of death proud of the chaos he is causing. You really paint a clear picture. The imagery in this is breathtaking and rare. thank you for the share

[dan]

I initially wrote this in about 5 minutes, kind of a throwaway poem for a compilation project for the group (Dopest) that I belong to. Every one contributes an 8 line write and they are all presented in sequence. But after getting a good bit of positive reviews I'm now calling this my 'accidentally good poem.' Thank you so much for your kind words. take care...dan

[Kelsey Rogers]

Very strong imagery. I pictured myself in a plane plummeting towards the earth and time slowed down. You say you just threw this together but I think you underestimate your powers! Hahaha. Take care Dan

[dan]

Please read others of mine. This one is really just a throwaway written for a compilation I don't even understand. Thank you very much, however, for your kind words regarding this write. take care...dan

[....................]

will be interesting to see the final project, dan...

[dan]

Actually I don't think so. I consider this write a throwaway. Thanks for the visit and your time. take care...dan

[sereenaoutloud]

so cool this pieces stand strong alone so it will be great to see it in the mash! you'll need to RR or send link when its all done so we can read it!
:)

[Olivia]

This poem is very powerful... i'll read more

[dan]

Olivia, This is part of a compilation in which a bunch of writers in the group "Dopest" were asked to write 8 lines on any theme. I don't know how to refer the whole piece for review. thanks for your review of my 8 lines...dan