picture frames (senryu)

loss of love in abstract tones

teary eyes and walls;

darkened empty picture frames

that once embraced you.

 

dan © 2016

Reviews

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Abstract, yes. But compelling too. Paints a picture so vivid of loss of love and the emptiness gained.

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

A deeply touching piece.
I love how senryu and such forms of poetry lets a poet the unique platform to express so much in so few words.
Brevity at it's best.

[dan]

Jyoti, I too enjoy the genre and find that it is more demanding in its form than longer pieces. One would think it easier to navigate in its brevity but not so in my opinion. Thank you for your great review. take care...dan

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Me too!
You are welcome.

[Timothy Ryan]

A very short poem to say the least. You painted a picture and set the tone well with these twelve words, though. But it read like an unfinished poem to me. It could say a lot more and really dig into the feelings if there was more behind it. Thank you for sharing.

[dan]

Timothy, This piece is in a poetry format called senryu. It's a three line poem with 5 syllables in first line, seven syllables in the second line and 5 in the third. Could it be expanded to say more? Sure, but the purpose of the format is to convey your thoughts in a brief period. So it was actually a 'finished poem'.
Thank you for the review, much appreciated. take care...dan

[Timothy Ryan]

That's cool. Sorry for the mix up. Was just letting you know how to improve your good ideas into even better ones. Be good.

[dan]

thank you.

[Gaia Octavia]

Love this. I adore short poems that say a lot, and this one absolutely does that. The mournful tone is beautiful. Well done!

[dan]

Thank you, Gaia for your kind words. Nice to hear from you. I'm headed over to your page to return the favor. take care...dan

[Aprille]

Picture frames... as time passes by turn into memories. Looking at them brings smiles and tears to our faces, those times we can never get back. Sadness, longing, pain and love... most of the time, they all go together. Thanks for sharing this beautiful senryu. :)

[dan]

Frames hold much more than pictures (love, loss, pain and joy), permanently etched into the rocky walls of our past. Frozen in time, these moments never change though the back story and relationships often do. Thank you for the amazing review. take care...dan

[Aprille]

You're welcome Sir. :)

[dan]

I appreciate the gesture, but there is really no need to call me sir. We are all equal here on WC. take care...dan

[Aprille]

Just a habit since childhood I guess ;)
As you wish, I'll call you Dan. Take care.

[Matching Socks]

I have a few empty picture frames...
Where love was once proudly displayed.

[dan]

Empty frames are one of love's potential scars. If only metaphorically speaking. Thank you so much for the read/review. take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

This made me think of a padded cell. Where one has stayed inside for far too long, now excepting it for what it really is. A great write, it really made me think visually. :)

[dan]

Amber, I really like your interpretation of the piece. Having been in a couple of padded rooms myself, this image really hit home for me. Thank you as always for your insightful review. take care...dan

[Amber Lily]

You're welcome dan, take care!

[barleygirl]

This is a poignant & original-sounding message. Not crazy about the first line, but the next two more than make up for it. The idea of "frames embracing" is great personification & conveys the implied feelings that the narrator's arms are empty now, too. The trick of these short Japanese poems is to say much more than the very few words used, which you've done well.

[dan]

barleygirl, the first line was intended to set up the other two. Could it have been stronger? Probably, but I revisit my writes a lot and it may end up changed. But I am always open to suggestions and I appreciate you taking the time for such a thoughtful review. Thank you so much! take care...dan

[I Am Svetlana]

Strange how powerful a simple picture can be to ones self...memory boxes are a way to keep these locked away for an appropriate time.

[dan]

Thank you for your finely written review, always appreciated. I like your grasp of my writing. take care...dan

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

How perfectly sad, well done, good read.

[dan]

Thank you Thomas. I will now go to your page for a review to return the favor. take care...dan