To Be On Fire

I'm not entirely sure where this came from. O.o I guess it's anoter gut writing. If you can't tell they become trees... or one with nature.

 

The sun so beautiful today, it lights my hair on fire so bright. I smile as I walk into the shade of the forest welcoming its cool air. Slowly I walk the soft crunch of my old shoes breaking the constant sigh of the leaves. Deeper and deeper I walk until there is no longer a path, I walk on. The trees become thicker as it becomes darker, I however don’t mind loving the forest’s safeness. I slowly remove my cloths allowing the wind to softly touch my skin. I grit my teeth as my skin slowly begins to darken, no longer a human color. I bend down naked on the floor, my nails digging deep into the cool dirt. I groan as my hair all over my body besides my head begins falling off, no longer shining as if it were on fire. My body begins to tremble I look up, stunned as I stare deep into two deep green eyes. I quickly stand up, knowing I must look strange, my body hairless my skin almost black my eyes sharper than ever.

“What are you doing” the deep voiced man said as he stared down at my body. I cringed under his stare and covered myself with my suddenly long fingers dirt now sticking to them. “Don’t look!” I screamed as I ran deep into the forest, my skin becoming soft once again as I run faster, my feet disturbing the fallen leaves, kicking them up as I run on. I still run hairless, except for the hair on my head, it flows in the wind as I continue to run. I can hear him, his large feet quickly fallowing mine in the shade of the trees. “Wait!” I hear his low voice call. Startled I make a sharp turn, sliding on the several leaves and collapse to the ground. Quickly I touch the tree next to me, pleading it to help me, but it only sighs. He is now standing over me, breathing deeply.

I curl next to the tree, hiding my body as well as I can, no longer one with nature. He quickly removes his cloths, his body dark and sharp. He smiles a set of white teeth shine even in this shade. I stare down, his feet digging deep into the dirt. I look up; pleasure is on his face as he stares at my darkening body. “We are one,” I sigh as I stand up and step close to him. He is much taller then I and he smells like roses. “I saw you last week, only I was afraid that I was only dreaming,” he said with a sigh extending his hand. I take it and moan as our hands become one, hardening together and darkening as well. I smile at him and he pulls me closer. He bends slightly to watch me as pleasure fills both of us as we begin to change.

The wind now plays with my hair and his, slowly leaves form around us. I bite my lip as I no longer can move my legs, we are connected. He breaths in my face as his torso straightens but he does not stop staring at me. Slowly I lay my head on his chest; he lays his head on mine. Together we stop breathing, stop seeing, together we become alive. Our hair spikes up slowly extending to the light, our bodies become longer. Leaves begin to grow quickly on our hair freshly green as we are now apart of our family. The wind sighs even more as we now make love.

Reviews

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This is good! I like the image you made. It is a pretty good read. I wished it was a little longer. You placed just enough description in it to keep me wanting to read. I agree with Rachel, I think the phrase the man smelled like roses could be changed. Overall, this is good.

[phantom]

Unlike racheal I like phase about the man smeling like roses. And like Tay I like the image u presented me as a reader. I could see it happening in my head as I read. You could probably make it a little longer. But over all I really like it.

[Rachael]

I really like "stream of consciousness" feel of this piece, and the concept itself is very original and poetic. I read it twice, and the descriptions are very vivid, the ending is great- that last line "The wind sighs even more as we now make love." gives the impression of eternity, a really nice touch.

It reads fairly rushed, i think it could benefit from some editing, to break it up a bit more and slow down the pace. And just a suggestion: the man smells like roses, but i think it would fit in better if he smelled like wood or soil or something more earthy?