Girl Uncompromised

The despair of breaking up, the triumph of getting over it..

 You touched my face and said goodbye, looking back you met my eyes. A spark of what, regret perhaps? You left me wondering why. 

Whom do I owe this heartbreak to? Another girl? Or perhaps, two? “Oh, it’s me, not you,”  you lie. Save your metaphors.

My eyes filled up with burning tears, a testament to all the years. I never even had a clue, for all I ever saw was you.

How can a light that burned so bright, turn to darkness overnight? Fall to pieces on the ground, my broken heart’s in tatters now.

Crumbled, shattered, ripped to shreds, a broken thing now half-way dead. You left me gasping for each breath, drowning in this little death.

I rise up from the bed we shared, gaze into the bathroom mirror to try and see what’s wrong with me, that you should walk away.

I look into wet eyes so blue and see the me, that you saw, too. My inner self stared back at me and told a startling truth.

I see there’s nothing wrong with me, no reason why you set me free. No reason that you broke my heart. I’ve been the same, right from the start.

I refuse to play the blaming game, of wondering why you didn’t stay. I’ll live to love another day. My heart is good and strong.

So like a Phoenix I will rise to wipe the tear-drops from my eyes, and never will I compromise the person that I am.

For I’ve been faithful all this time, loyal, true and always kind. A gentle soul, a thoughtful mind, and I will heal this heart.

So walk away is what I say. It doesn’t matter anyway. Another love will come my way, and you’ll be soon forgotten.

I’ll put my heartache on a shelf, and live to love despite myself. My head I’ll hold up proud and high. I will remain uncompromised.

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

Girl, your rhyming gave me chills! You know, there's something to be said about the woman that pulls through this kind of hell. When you've been hurt so bad that you start blaming yourself, it's really the lowest you can ever be. And its a long way back to "happy".

I'm pulling for you to make it, Riss!

[Riss Ryker]

Thank you, Kelly! I'm honored! I've already made it, this is a poem about a time long gone...thank you for that, though...

[Emily]

I love the double rhymes, and then the non-rhyme! You broke w/ the pattern for 2 stanzas, but really it carried the poem. It was so nice! A lovely work!

[Confuser]

Riss Ryker, it is so beautiful. The pain of a heartache so deep and truely defined - I loved evry word. Amazing writing. Thank you so very much! Dale

[Riss Ryker]

Thank you SO much, Dale. I'm truly honored at your words...

[Confuser]

I love it!! You are welcome.

[Jess C]

I love this poem, it is so beautifully written. I love the way it went together. How it went along with how I felt once upon a time ago.

[Leviathus Fortes]

Sometimes when someone walks away they believe that they are doing it for our own good.

It hurts them too.

I've always wondered if is it because they think that they would destroy the person that we are.

Or is it that they believe we will destroy them?

To let someone go shows that you truly love them.
---

You also have those who are in a neglectful, abusive relationships.
And you should always walk away from abuse.

[Riss Ryker]

Thank you, Leviathus, for your interpretation, but what did you think of the poem overall? Did you like it? Hate it? See room for improvement?

[Leviathus Fortes]

It is a very moving piece. I like this style of writing.

Improvement?
Normally I don't critique. I interpret and comment on the aspects that I like the most.

But since you asked...

Dig deeper into this. Do a follow-up piece.
Channel ever last bit of those emotions and write.
Raw and unedited.
I find a certain freedom when it comes to writing in this manner.

This piece shows me your plight. I connect to these words.
Now..show me how you honestly feel and do not hold back.

FEEL and share.

As far as my editing goes, in my writing, is to capitalize and punctuate.
I write/record whatever I feel in the given moment.
I don't change my phrasing. If I do, it no longer becomes free-verse.