Fugitive

Fugitive

A Poem by Robert Ray


I flee and hide;

My true feelings,

Concealed behind

A joke, a grin.

 

Your frown pursues,

Denying my escape,

Almost breaks through,

Until I’m gone again.

 

My desperate path,

No destination,

No strategy,

No courage.

 

A stolen heart,

Broken constitutions,

Unarmed, unarmored,

Bleeding, dying.

 

No will to fight,

Nowhere to hide,

No time to mend. 

In my shadow, I cower.

 


© 2018 Robert Ray



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Featured Review

i like the straight forward language and the story told completely in few lines and verse ..with room to "fill in" as one is so inspired to do so... i like it... so relatable to all the broken people who have become a little timid in the relationship department ..
E.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

2 Weeks Ago

Thank you. Thus far, my third most popular poem on this site, probably for the reason you mentioned.. read more



Reviews

Keen perception lyrically and metaphorically portrayed.
Your capture of personal mental maneuvers is rather brutal and seemingly complete.
Stunning poem!

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Jimmy. I always appreciate your brief and genuine thoughts.
I really liked what you've put over here in an amazing way. This poem really speaks my heart. Personally, I loved the description. We mask over emotions to even those people in our lives who make us who we are. There's always a portion left about us. That's what's only known to us. And it's foreign to others. That makes us humans in a real way.
Loved the way you penned it without the boundries of rhyme. And it really worked.
A great piece! =)

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you for taking time to read and share your thoughts. Very much appreciated.
Ghania

3 Weeks Ago

You're welcome!
I am known for my rhyming & it's an addiction for me. It takes effort for me to do free verse! I think the best feeling is when we can come to a poem & just let it out without having to label anything at all. Even when we're using some form, it's great to not make it about the form.

Your poem is interesting & I think it speaks for itself, rather than having such a long intro explanation, I encourage you to let each reader take it where they go with it. To me, that's one of the distinctive aspects of free verse . . . I like it when the meaning is elusive or multi-layered. Let your reader work a little bit to find their meaning.

I'm not a big fan of punctuation. I feel that the short line length contributes a bit of a choppy read, so there's no need to do the belt-and-suspenders approach of using lots of punctuation too! I would get rid of every comma & semi-colon, but that's just me. Do I feel you sub-consciously restraining yourself as you try to do free verse? (Just kidding).

I like your message & I am not suggesting that you change it. But I do want to point out that you are expressing yourself in a rather "cerebral" way, more than a sensory/sensual way. I encourage you to try to get a point across by describing (showing) more than stating (telling). What does "No courage" look like? feel like? sound like? These are some ways you can "free" yourself as you try to expand into free verse . . . speak to me in body language instead of telling me what you're thinking.

I'm afraid this might be a little heavy, but I feel I get a little more leeway when someone takes the time to write a message & ask for a review (you can read request me, if you are so inclined). Thanks for considering my ideas (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Margie, your review is not the least bit "heavy." I always value your feedback. It's one of the re.. read more
barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

I agree that it's more important to be true to who you are, rather than applying some prescribed imp.. read more
I think it's great to experiment with words and forms of poetry. Poetry ain't all about rhyming, personally, I love free verse so I'm glad you tried it and the outcome is great :)
I agree, we are all fugitives in one way or the other...
Nice, powerful write.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks very much for the read and your feedback. I'm happy I took a risk with this one. Greatly appr.. read more
Closed

3 Weeks Ago

You're welcome. A pleasure reading :)

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902 Views
14 Reviews
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Added on December 26, 2017
Last Updated on January 22, 2018
Tags: truth, love, relationships, loyalty, courage, strength, resilience, trust, honesty, poetry, poem

Author

Robert Ray
Robert Ray

Madison, IN



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