Tick-Tock

Tick-Tock

A Poem by Robert Ray


Time, man’s greatest unowned treasure

Cannot be saved, purchased or pilfered.

Flip the hourglass as often as you pleasure,

Same sand falls, unrestrained, unfiltered.

 

The newest newborn is the richest being,

Naked, helpless, penniless and grasping.

She has infinitely more than a queen or king

And from either can get nothing everlasting.

 

Tick-tock, the chiming, reverberating knock

Clamors, bangs in my head, gnaws at my soul;

No more time, no more chances, tick-tock.

No more sand for my molded crystal bowl.

 

Tick-tock, time, man’s fleeting treasure;

A ticking clock, mortal life’s full measure.

 


© 2018 Robert Ray



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Nea
I love the jump to the infant. I feel that it works very well to compare how helpless the baby is in a general sense to how helpless we all are to time. It would have been cool if the repetition of the "tick-tock" near the end had somehow been incorporated into the rest of the poem, but I think it works much better without that taking the attention from the beginning.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks for the read and your thorough review. All good points. I always appreciate a thoughtful re.. read more



Reviews

I'm allergic to meter, so I cannot evaluate this aspect of your poem, however it appears to be a sonnet. I'm not very knowledgeable about sonnets, but I had the idea the final couplet is to be an epiphany of sorts, rather than a restatement of what's already been said in the rest of the poem. Just something to think about or research if you're so inclined. Your message is a timely one, as the clock seems to be more pronounced when a new year is on the horizon. It's the year of the dog (& I'm a dog fanatic) . . . plus there will be two blue moons (Jan & Mar) right off, so I'm thinking I do not want the tick-tock to go quickly becuz I want to savor this new beginning! I enjoyed your poem very much! Have a great new year (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Margie, thank you! As always, you exceeded my expectations on your review. I especially like readi.. read more
barleygirl

3 Weeks Ago

I used to enjoy trying new or iconic poetic styles, but lately I can't be bothered with it! *smile*
Time is all the things you say, as well as a curse because, for human beings, it always falls infinitely short of forever--which represents the time span most of us wish to experience.
An outstanding bit of work, Robert!


Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you, Jimmy. Always good to hear from you. Much appreciated.
I xn feel anticipation in this write so loudly, This is a profound write as well as intriguing. So very well written, I can hear the tick tock's loudly. Kind of deafening really. I can feel this. awesome write

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you for the kind review. You took away what I'd hoped. I appreciate your sharing your though.. read more
yes dude.....I feel a huge hypocrite commenting on poems and people's work ....as I'm not at all a poet or writer in any way as you know....

but I love the subject matter and the angle you take.....

please don't laugh at me but I struggled reading a couple of the words......like I say it's a bit beyond me.....I'm out of my death commenting to be honest.

if I'm truly honest.....if it was me.....I would just remove the second verse and it would be amazing for my point of view.....it doesn't need it......just feels like it's padding it out and doesn't fit.....

without it ......it's introduction and direction.... then miss a verse.... and it's hitting hard core...the impact I like.......then it ends....

I'd just take that second version out and I love it my friend.

but please remember ....I'm not a poet or a writer.....so don't be offended....I don't know what I'm on about.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i am LiLy

3 Weeks Ago

thank you for asking me....I'm not used to being asked advise.... especially on this sort of stuff.... read more
Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

You know more than you realize. I'll send you more in the future, if you're interested.
i am LiLy

3 Weeks Ago

definitely if you feel my opinion is worth it my friend.
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Gee
And then you are middle aged and wondering as to how you got there and at the speed of the journey. Life passes in a blink, the opening eye of a new born and then the lid closing as the last breath exhaled. It is only as we age time takes on any real meaning as we know then how precious every second, minutes, hour.
Enjoyed your words Robert R

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Ray

3 Weeks Ago

Thanks very much for your time and your kind review. Greatly appreciated.

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15 Reviews
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Added on December 30, 2017
Last Updated on January 22, 2018
Tags: time, mortality, life, death, materialism, birth, hope, reflection, poetry, poem

Author

Robert Ray
Robert Ray

Madison, IN



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