devil on the doorstep

based on an experience of mine

I lay in bed on a boiling night,

i could feel something not right.

I tossed, I turned but evil was nearing,

had the feeling that something was leering.

I heard a whisper, felt its heat,

it smelled just like some rotting meat.

I tried to move, but i was stuck.

What was happening? Holy f**k.

Sweat was pouring from my head,

from this encounter with the dead.

He told me something in a raspy voice,

I had to listen, I had no choice.

I tried to shout, but made no sound,

tried to fight, but arms were bound,

but then there was a glimpse of light.

Almost over, was this night.

Then he left without a trace, 

the sweat was dripping down my face.

His words will stay inside my head,

every night I go to bed.

Reviews

[larryb]

The boogie man visited you dude...good write...

[robing123456]

yeah and he didnt even bring a bottle of wine or some flowers

[robing123456]

Ive changed the name. nothing else new. so if you liked it before you will still like it now. If you hated it you may never come to dinner at my house again.

[AWickedMoon]

Amazing poem! I'd love for you to send me read requests. :)

[robing123456]

thank you, I will do just that.

[Shane Blackheart]

Pretty neat, although I think that would be an incubus you're describing, or just a demon. A succubus is a female demon that uses sex against her victim. Other than that, it was a pretty cool poem. I liked it.

[robing123456]

thanks for pointing that out. I was going to lie and say it wanted to have its way with me, but my girlfriend would be so jealous.

[Shane Blackheart]

Hehe, you're welcome. Just didn't know if you knew the differences or not.

[Eric Cox]

Chilling experience.
Good rhyming and nicely weaved creating.

[robing123456]

thanks for taking the time to say something nice. I really appreciate it.

[BrandonTheEnigma]

Very well written but what was described was not a succubus