Wearing the Corpse

Why go on?

I am wearing the corpse

In which I'll be buried.

With each passing day

More dead than alive.

It grows ever weaker.

Protesting existence

With tiredness and pain,

It longs for goodbye

The struggle of living

Continued enduring.

No need to remain,

It's easy to die.

Author's Note

No .. it's not about me, don't worry, nor anyone in particular.
Just about life, death, old age and suffering

Reviews

[Jock Engelman]

What I find the most interesting is how you can read the piece in three different ways.

#1 is read exactly the same way as it is currently written, which shows the fall and rise and to and fro from determination to depression.

#2 is read with only the first two lines of each stanza which tells a tale of someone enduring and powering on.
EG:
I am wearing the corpse
In which I'll be buried.
It grows ever weaker.
Protesting existence
The struggle of living
Continued enduring.

#3 Shows a struggle that results in an individual giving up on life and becoming a walking corpse:
EG:
With each passing day
More dead than alive.
With tiredness and pain,
It longs for goodbye
No need to remain,
It's easy to die.

I just thought it was well written and interesting as it has 3 main perspectives!

(Rating 95/100)

[Rogie-Dodge]

Thanks jock.
Though I'd written each verse with basically that structure it is interesting that you can split the whole poem up that way as well. OMG I didn't realise I was so clever :D :P

[VertoAtrum]

This is a strong truth put into a very beautiful poem.
I love the flow as well, it's very even and consistent.
Great job!

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

You summed up without softening what many chronically ill and infirm people think but are afraid to put into words. "I am wearing the corpse in which I'll be buried." Sometimes the truth is as painful as the affliction. You nailed this.

[Beau Maysey]

Very nice application of an interesting concept: That each day we are putting on more and more our funeral outfit of our own body. Creepy, sad, and well-executed. I like the poem a lot. :)

[Brittany Zedalis]

It's very interesting to say the least. Nicely penned. ^-^

[radio raven]

And all of us wear some guilt, tend to wear it like a body bag,everyday. ( I totally stole those last few words from the birthday massacre lol). Anyway, life is easier if you take it less serious then it should be. What am I even saying anymore, I need more sleep.

Good poem.

[Rogie-Dodge]

Thanks raven ... not heard from you for ages !!

[radio raven]

Yeah I'm, and I finally added something new, I am working on other stuff though.

[Teeya]

This piece is unique indeed. I don't think I've ever come across a write highlighting the unspoken reality that one wears the corpse he/she will be buried in. Most times in our youth, we believe ourselves to be somewhat immortal because life seems as though it will go on forever. But as time passes and we're granted another day, year, experience, our mortality becomes more present and reveals itself to our very existence in various forms such as sickness, lonliness, wrinkles, loss of energy, and so on. These are not things we look forward to in life, but some are a reality for many of our elders. All we can do is take the best care of ourselves we can, appreciate the "corpse" that encase our spirits, and hope the love we give now we'll receive when we need it most...very nice write

[Rogie-Dodge]

Thank you, I'm glad it was something new and made you think. Lovely review.

[Teeya]

You're welcome, yes it was and it did, and thank you:)

[Vidya Bacchus]

We go on because we cannot give up.If we gave up we would miss all the good things that make life worth it .Like family and love .Excellent pen there RD.

[melissa]

Great poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them

[Aethereal]

Perhaps we go on since we only have two choices: We either choose to go on here, or risk gong on in a new life after we achieve consciousness once again in the fullness of time. The unconscious are not aware of the passage of time. Consciousness only sees itself as continuous since it’s not aware of time gaps. It’s better to stay with what you know than risk going into what you don’t know. Your next life may not be as joyful as this one. You can’t escape immortality. All that we carry with us are our moods, but memory is wiped out, blank slate. I was inspired to write this tiny poem for you which you may keep as your own:

Gaps in Time

Consciousness goes on and on
as it jumps large gaps in time
over pauses when it’s gone
as it climbs above the slime
sensing new worlds where it’s drawn.
Incarnation is sublime.