Days of Our Lives

The fleeting time between life and death

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photograph by Daniel Pendery:  http://pendery.org/files/images/0188%20City%20Streets.preview.jpg

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

A child is born

Wide eyes of blue

Knit clothes adorn

And little shoes

 

A young boy jumps

A young boy yells

Sick with the mumps

Collects sea shells

 

Now home from school

To kiss the girl

Emotions rule

New love aswirl

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

A new day starts

An evening falls

A song is hummed

A good friend calls

 

The coffee brewed

The paper read

A good wife kissed

Kids put to bed

 

Now lost the job

And down and out

The temples throb

Future in doubt

 

Find work again

So not a flop

New job’s a strain

But just can't stop

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

Now getting old

And time to rest

A watch of gold

Hangs from the vest

 

A loved one gone

Mist in the eyes

A graveyard lawn

Soft tears and sighs

 

The body tired

Goodbyes to friends

No more required

Rest at the end.

 

…These are the days of our lives.

 

 

 

 

©2009, Richard Puetter

All rights reserved

Reviews

[Christopher Robin]

Rick,

First of yours I have read, was recommended here, gladly so.
This piece is very well written, stays on track with meter and rhyme, develops a marvelous cadence as it trots along. No longer or shorter than it needs to be, you've struck a perfect balance between quality and quantity, a concept many around here fail to grasp.
I scrutinize very closely, and could spot only one possible flaw. It makes sense technically but I wonder if there could be slightly smoother grammar. Your third stanza, the line "And kiss the girl". In conjunction with the line before it does not read grammatically correct (as it is an order, not a continuation), it should read "To kiss the girl". The poem is telling us what has happened, not what to do, this sudden shift was the only jarring moment I found in the otherwise flawless piece.
Nicely penned, I look forward to reading more excellent work!

-Robin

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

I like the format that this poem was in, plus it kind of rhymes too. Very creative.

[Zahra]

The body tired
Goodbyes to friends
No more required
Rest at the end.
…These are the days of our lives

Wonderfully done, the way summarized the whole journey moving towards the terminus.

[C. Rose]

There is a nice arc to this.
Favorite line: graveyard lawn
I enjoyed the heartwarming coming-of-age family-oriented imagery

Well penned.

[Avanthika]

i just like the manner in which you have described the whole mans life in few sentences, nicely written, thanks for RR , glad i found this piece of yours.

[Mazie]

Wow this actually gave me chills! Thank you or the RR, this is a beautiful piece as it weaves through life, it really puts it into perspective. Life if short and moves quickly (therefore, how you wrote this and the layout are absolutely perfect!). Wonderful job, short and simple, but packs a punch :)

[Pushkar Prabhat]

nice poem.
i liked how you stuck to max 5 words a line, this made this poem refreshing.
efficient flow and realistic description.
i liked it.
:)

[Nancy Ring]

Nice. At first I didn't like the These are the days of our lives between each segment, but then I reread it and realized you were trying to transition me between the moments of life. Very good poem. I hope to see more of your poetry around.

[Eve Ola]

Best read so far, its flawless and I enjoyed it like a complete package. You wrap all stages very beautifully. its amazing. going straight to my favorites. Thanks for sharing here.

[Mayank]

Very well written, perfect balance between verses and love the flow which is not all exaggerated.