Dear Thracian,

Thanks for your review. As always, it is quite thorough and thought provoking. And while I generally don\'t comment on reviews, this is such a detailed review that I want to make a few comments. You\'ll note that I\'ve commented on your reviews several times before. As I\'ve said, they are thought provoking.

First, we\'ve discussed this before, i.e., do I count \"ed\" as a separate syllable. The answer as before, is no, I don\'t. I find this a somewhat arcaic practice, even though I generally support preservation of \"correct\" English and generally shun the introduction of slang, etc., into the language. Still, in common pronunciation of \"ed\" as a separate syllable, at least in the United States, is essentially dead. I certainly have never heard this done for most of my life.

Now, on the 6-syllable count, because that\'s what we\'re left with if \"ed\" is not a separate syllable, no, there is no \"number of the beast (666)\" thing going on here. It is simply a meter I\'ve decided to use for the poem. The line metric length is short to keep the pace of the poem fast, making the lines emphatic declarations.

Regarding simplicity of speech, you correctly remember. I always profess simplicity and clarity. But this is a poem about deceit, which is anything but simple and clear. So the words fit the topic. There is embroidery, there is slight of hand, there is hiding behind cover, and there is embellished speech. This is the nature of deceit.

And I agree with your comment that there is an easy melody in

Oh, Beast!
You hide beneath,
Hollow!
You hide behind,
Wretched!
you hide beneath, behind... you hide.

In fact I like this quite a bit, but what is your point? These words by themselves really don\'t say too much. Now maybe they do to you, and perhaps I can see that they might with some effort by the reader. But I think you are too clever and fast on the up-take. As I\'ve said before, I\'m not into making the reader work. I\'m into clarity and simplicity. I don\'t want my reader to work at all, at least not at discerning my meaning. It is another matter entirely if the words (clear in their meaning) provoke difficult thought and reexamination of values or point of view.

My very best regards,

Rick

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The flow of this outpaces anything I could write about Deceit, Rick.

You always write with such finesse; even those horrible traits making up deceit: the false facade, the snide manner et al are made somehow worthy when you write ... even though they shouldn't be!

'Oh Black One, You're a monster ~ So practiced in Your arts ~ With smile and laugh and jest ~ And happy Your demeanor ~ When introduced to guests'

I love the old English ring of this, as if written when men could be knights or scoundrels. You, sir, are very definitely one of the former.

Thank you for sharing and in your own way, commiserating. x

Posted 4 Months Ago