Broken, a Co-Write with Sheila Kline

Broken...the death of a loved one

Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: Mario Pleitez. Original photo may be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/alfinaldeesteviaje/451482805/sizes/o/.

 

 

 

Dear Reader,

 

A poem inspired by “On Another’s Pain”, by William Blake, and co-written by Sheila Kline and Rick Puetter:

 

http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/wvhillbilly47/

http://www.writerscafe.org/writers/rpuetter/

 

We hope you enjoy the poem.

 

 

 

Broken

 

Horror in my heart abounds

My lips share thy wailing sounds

For your heart is pierced with pain

And with anguish thy soul strains

 

Lifeless son rests in your arms

Newly felled by Reaper’s charms

Death, thy joy robs from your life

Now plays plaintive drum and fife

 

Now the march to funeral pyre

Now the wood piled higher and higher

As the sun sets in the west

And lost soul is called to rest

 

Nevermore his smile you'll see

Nevermore he'll sing with thee

Nevermore you'll touch his hair

Evermore cries your despair

 

How can I remove thy pain?

All my jests now made in vain

For your heart is set on fire

Rages now the funeral pyre

 

Now new morn wakes in the east

Sleep is now thy weak release

Rest, fair one, and cry no more

For new day has more in store

 

This, the fate of mortal Man

Death brings grief to every clan

Seek your friends and family

Solace in love's harmony

 

I will sit with you tonight

I will hold you very tight

Above stars course through unknown plan

Here, my love, come take my hand.

 

 

 

©2009, Sheila Kline and Richard Puetter, each and individually

All rights reserved

 

 

 

 

Author: Randolph Femmer. Rights: Public Domain, life.nbii.gov. Library of Images from the Environment. Original image can be found at http://images.nbii.gov/R%20Femmer/D_high-res/60-Sunrise-3-little-inn-August-26.jpg

Author's Note

Again, I need to thank Sheila Kline for the inspiration to write this poem. It was her idea to pick this topic and gave it its birthing push and direction. Thank you, Sheila!

Reviews

[Marie Anzalone]

"How can I remove thy pain?"

At the heart of this flawless collaboration is this single question. Sometimes, the answer is simply, "You cannot" We are uncomfortable in the presence of such deep seated grief because we have forgotten how to sit with it. This poem is masterful because it respects that. The sun is coming up tomorrow, but it's not a brand new day of wonder and forgetfulness... it is still going to HURT tomorrow, like it did today. The death of a child is supposed to hurt. You both have captured the need to honor the pain before it can be let go, and have done so with dignity and respect. There is no placating, no false reassurance. Wonderfully done, both of you. Thank you, Rick, for sharing.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Feeling the old school influence here. I like Blake. Not too keen on pain though. Thy hand hath wrought an ornament of empathy; worn about thy breast as a crest of dignity. Carry on my friend. F.

[CountNicholasAlti]

This was very well done and I could see the inspiration from Blake, a true Romantic. Beautiful imagery and well executed repetition and the entire piece held a good flow. The first two lines of the last stanza do seem rather cliche and not nearly as powerful as the rest of the lines in the poem. It is always important to go out with a bang and really make the reader reflect, so I would suggest to rethink only those two lines. Other than that, very well done indeed.

[Larrycall]

beautiful

[Susie Q]

A very special poem Sheila and Rick that the two of you have created. Sometime in all of our lives someone in our circle of loved ones will pass on. Even though I have never lost a child to death I can't even imagine the pain and grief. Hold on to hope, faith and memories or this beautiful tribute you have written.

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

Flawless! A very powerful poem. I know a native song like this called, Rainwalkers death song.
Life and Light to you and yours,
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Helena]

A classic, no doubt about that Sheila and Rick. Brilliantly and seamlessly penned. Heartrending to read as you so eloquently described the utter pain and helpless one feels about such a tragic, tragic loss.

Bravo! Thank you for sharing and submitting this to my collab. contest.

Helena

[Lalli]

This poem is beautiful.... you created beauty out of pain. Kudos to you and Sheila. The message is sound, and speaks clear. Be sure to cherish and communicate your love to those around you, their time or your time is never known.

I have missed your well penned work my friend

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Keriun]

You should be more consistent and not switch from using words like "thy" to "you".

Great job anyway :)
though I have a slight feeling you actually tried too hard.

[Chloe Christine]

This is really good! I feel very strongly about this poem. You are very talented. Sheila, oh gosh. This is a great topic. Love is one thing that holds many togther through the toughest times. Again, very good job, both of you(:

[Sexy P3nguin]

This is an amazing poem. You two work very well together and at times it feels like only one person. I thank you for entering my contest. I really did feel moved by this poem and it almost brung a tear to my eye. Great job