Just A Girl

Please, let me just quickly introduce myself. How I look and what I am called don’t matter… all you need to know is that I am just a teenage girl and my parents run seminars at our “home”. At least that is what they call it…a home. It is more of a hallway with rooms that is rented out most of the time. There is a room just for me, or so I thought. It is a place for me to close my eyes and pass time before I move on to college and study.

 

Bear with me while I bare to you what happened today, I think it was today. I am not sure when it happened because while I am writing this, I am in a hospital and let me tell you that this four walls welcome me more then I ever felt at “home”. Anyway, I remember perfectly the events leading to me being here and I wish to share it…before the memory fade and elude me.

 

I had to stay back in college for extra work and to get some things in order, forgive me but the exact details already started fading from mind. Anyway, after settling whatever it was that needed to be settle I was ready to go back “home”. Since my parents were both conducting a seminar and would be busy I thought it would be wise and not bother them. Walking home is something I deem pleasant as it would delay the time of me reaching that place… I guess you can already see that I am dreading it. Maybe deep inside I already know what could and would take place.

 

Passing the shops on my way home, I saw a tiny carnation. The prettiest little thing, yellow with red trimmings on its petal… the few of it that was left has be trimmed down to being so short that maybe it was only the height of a 300ml mineral water bottle. They were placed in a same vase with red roses, blood red roses with the height being about a 500ml mineral water bottle. Needless to say, the carnations were almost completely hidden by the roses. It was like the first carnation of the season versus the roses of full bloom at the height of its season…but what do I know of the seasons.

 

If you ask me now, I couldn’t say why it called to me or why I picked it. I normally don’t buy flowers. It was more then beginning to wilt, but I foolishly thought it would please my parent and I thought a little while of us having a real dinner together. By “real” I meant be a family, sit down…have a meal with laughter in the air. Just like the old times. Anyway, I just got my allowance and so I got out my purse and pick the little thing out of the vase. I set it upon the counter and enquire of the price. The shopkeeper just looked that it in surprised as if he has forgotten all about it or that he did not expect anyone to pick it and said that he would give it to me for free.

 

Now… its not that I am snobbish or anything like that, but I just think it is plain wrong to take something for free. So I looked around the shop, which is when I notice one of my friends sitting in a car. The few I have I suppose and the car belonged to another of my friend…what a small world. I just ignored the sight however as he told me he want to be left alone, well…after being more then a friend to him, I got to admit that hurt and I didn’t want to act the fool no longer. Wondering around the shop I settled on a couple of packets of noodles and gobbled them up. What!? I was hungry. Anyway, paying for my meal, that “friend” of mine came up behind me and offered me a ride home… yep, technically it’s called stealing if you borrow your friend’s car for a spin when he expects it to be there when he returns from wherever he was.

 

Don’t get me wrong but I couldn’t care less. I mean how often you get to be in the same car as someone you like more then a friend? In my life? The answer to that is never…and I do mean NEVER. Anyway, of course I accepted the ride. Yep, we kissed… I mean while he was driving and we almost reached my place I kissed my fingers and press it to his cheek *smile dreamily*. He leaned over sideways and offered his cheek, I kissed it and I do admit I purposely planted it close to him mouth…ok, maybe more of at the side of his mouth. He turned and kissed me lightly on my lips *grinning like a fool*. He told me off…well kind of, what he told me was “please do NOT do that again, we might cause an accident…wait for me to pull over”. Well…I am not going to complain especially since he been ignoring me and he was the one who broke the silence, well…he started it *huff*.

 

We were right in front of my house during that time and so he just drove a bit more and turned the corner so we were out of sight. He then pulled over and gave me the sweetest kiss a girl can hope for. I was in pure bliss I tell you, he held me close like I meant the world to him and I was beginning to float so I am glad that he held me close. Well…from there it when straight down hill. He completed a circuit around my house and we were back at the front gate. I walked up a flight of stairs and come “home” to a bright and packed “house”. Yep, I was right, they did manage to rent out the whole place again today.

 

That’s when I noticed I forgot the carnation…oh well *shrugs*. I when to the main room, more like a hall, to say hi to my mom and to inform her I was home. She was in one of her moods again…she dragged me in front of the crowd and said “This is my daughter everyone. It is so nice of her to join us finally decide to join us after dilly dallying around and not helping with anything”. Well, I just smiled, grinned and bear…what else can I do? I wanted to escape more then anything else and so I just nodded my head, close the door and when to my “room”. The one place they promised was mine and that they won’t rent out…

 

Should have known I can’t trust them, I opened my room door to find it equally packed with people. Less people but still, my room is just a small space. You know how embarrass you feel when you walk into the wrong room? Well…I felt that. I looked at the room number (yep, they labelled it… “How else can people find the right room” they said) and could only blur out, “what the hell are you all doing in my room!!!”. How could the answer not hit me earlier I guess would be one of life’s mysteries. They rented my room out…my “parents” RENTED my room. They promised not to.

 

Looking into the room my mom was holding her seminar in I could only ask what happen to my room. I was bone tired… I enquire as politely as I could where was I suppose to lay my head to rest, she just laughed in my face and said that they really needed the room and my room was the only one available, she hope I understand. Sure…understand my a*s! Money money money is all they cared about. I don’t come in the picture, sure I understand that. What’s there not to understand? She continued on to say that it served me right for not helping them at all, for not being a good child, for being a burden, a pain in the a*s. I could hardly see by this time, too busy holding my tears in, I was so embarrassed. Still she continued on, addressing the whole room and saying see how her daughter don’t understand her in a tragic tone.

 

There is a limit to what I can take and what I can’t. I asked her in a mock polite tone if there were any reasons strong enough to break a promise, especially a promise to a family member. She gasped and when ballistic on me. She basically chewed me up in front of everyone…even stating that I was a w***e and that I was having sex in the car earlier that is why I was late. “Don’t bother denying it as I can see it from the window”. Then she should have seen me crying about my home and the guy was just petting my back to comfort me and I was sooooo NOT having sex. I could only turn and run away with tears in my eyes, that is when she started acting motherly. Keyword…ACTED.

 

She asked her precious members to run after me and to make sure I was “alright”. Like she have no legs of her own…anyway, I just wanted a place to run away and sob my heart out. I am stupid for hoping that it could be like the past anyway, the main reason why it hurt so badly. Now sending her cronies after me…didn’t she embarrass me enough? She sure as hell didn’t understand me. I could only run as fast as I could and I tried to invade two of her cronies that decided to follow her orders… I thought of only reaching the shop I have spent so much time in earlier and hope that the kindly shopkeeper would give me a sanctuary for a few hours while I calmed down and got in control of my emotions again… Well, I didn’t make it… It was too far and I saw a pool on the way there.

 

About the pool…did you know that if you jumped in fully clothed you all be really heavy and you will sink? Especially if you were holding all the textbooks and notes you brought to college with you for the day? Well…I jumped into the pool fully clothed and holding tight to my books and notes like they would save me. In a weird twisted way I really thought they would. Save me I mean…save me from having to be in this existence anymore. I jumped in the pool and took a deep breath of water…Just like a baby breathing in the womb. Ok…I don’t want that comparison; I wanted to just get away from it all, so maybe like in the science fiction books I read. Just sink…and close my eyes, nothing to bother me…and just fade away…

 

Author's Note

Its a dream I just had... Be honest with your reviews.
Its only my third piece of story. The first as "Angel and Demon", the second was the second part which is still in my ruined computer which I still haven't rescued...
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Reviews

[ShadowWolf]

I really like this story. The more I read the more I wanted to rush to the end and see the ending to see what happens to her.

[Vatsayayana]

Fascinating. ~BIG grin~
I am curious though, what were the seminars about or did I miss that part of the story?
This is fabulous. You writing is edgy and unique. The reader is hearing a story, basic and pure, and yet there are these little "bits" thrown in here and there that you can't help but react to. A smile quirking your lips, anger pulling frown lines across your face. Very interesting. Was that just part of the dream as well or did you do that deliberately?
Either way this is too cool. I love it. You only have simple spelling errors and word misplacement, easily fixed. All in all, I'd love to see to more of this. Work out the kinks and expand. It's wicked! :0)

[deathbroken]

it was really good. =D
emotions were really raw and just... there
its very easy to get what you mean.
good job.
however. i think it might've been slightly better if you did it in an actual story like mode. instead of the *grinn* stuff. you should describe it.
but hey thats how i think.
but this way... it make it more personal? so its also pretty good. =D

[Dave Lounsbury]

Very nice work, it grabbed my attention right away and held it throughout.
You've painted a very vivid picture with your words.