SIX PORTRAITS OF MADNESS

Random, nonsensical wordplay. I don't expect many to like it and may be grounds to have me committed.

Portrait 1: Outside and Inevitable

The hermit grew delusional and portentous

about the outside and the inevitable

With dire moods invading his home

No more did he trust the press, phones

or the outside world in general.

During the day he activated his nocturnal headshrinker

Then again

he never thought he would ever be caught

violating the rules of day-night psychology.

Last words from the smashed and dying shortwave radio

warned that

many inoperable ruptures frustrate the dreams

of obstinate

yet sentient beings.

Portrait 2:  Elves Themselves

More benign than translucent

we prodded the tremulous elves

into buses and provisioned them with crudites

for the expedition ahead.

Up north

when evil weasels find Etruscan elves elusive

they often turn to Elvis

and thoughts of industry

A rival tribe of trolls with souls

escaped into their underground game rooms.

Portrait 3: The Surreal Revolution

In his delirium,

the Archduke felt no remorse

when he consolidated his crockery

in the museum's sarcophagi

Below the parapets

scenes of the surreal revolution...

--Roving gangs of octogenarians feared nothing

but the lunar eclipse.

--A compendium of rhinoceros blubbered pluperfect odes.

--A barber refusing to abide by

the Vizier’s holistic manifests.

--Men in overgrown mutton chops

looked superfluous

but proved a fateful distraction

to the Bishop's defrocking.

--Justice was meted out for those that abandoned participatory

architecture.

--More inflatable obelisks were deployed to allow the

competition to continue

--Chocolate milk went on sale at the infanticide

but went unreported in the media.

Desirous of additional conspiracies

the man from afar said it all.

Portrait 4: Unreported Explorers

Finding the planet's fastidious pulchritude tolerable

Captain Des Jardins waded into the hoards

The incredulous hermaphrodites

of the Southern Hemisphere followed suit

The Francophile circumnavigation of the Chukchi Peninsula was

obstructed by the isthmus so he resorted to his dirigible.

On the camping trip

my daughter was chided for not bringing deodorant.

Do you think Daniel Boone would have used deodorant?

The sounds of disco fever wafted in tender tones

over the lonesome prairie.

Closer to home

my collapsable recumbent bicycle helped make many

new friends and leap frogged other bike technology

Over the time horizon

Conquistadors reclined in their mukluks on the charpois

Portrait 5: From a Military Standpoint

Eskimos should have more escalators on their frigates.

A kerfuffle erupted over the issuance

of a new and improved blunderbuss

The adoption papers went missing

after the adorable Panzer leader

executed a pincer movement in western Ukraine

A wounded Brevet Major General excoriated

the cheating charlatans of his command

and uttered unexpurgated oaths

“Tinker-bell in espadrilles equals fashion overkill.”

“Grandpa said you have to take care of the baby

while she gets tattooed.”

“I care not for your javelin experiments

and instead find favor with transubstantiation

and the simple pleasures of saltine crackers.”

“Fortify my carousers with embellishments and rectitude.”

Over the ridge

the violin marching band stormed the fortifications

without a single heartbreak.

Portrait 6: In Stores Now

At the motley, old haberdashery

preposterous dramas of amputation

and pillow talk played out

amid a magnificent assemblage of

gewgaws and gimcracks

In the aisles

pranksters never settled the great debate

between itching powder and sneezing powder.

The stock clerks favored his action items

but my checklist was supreme.

In the hubbub

the constable was so flummoxed

he put the kibosh on the kabob sellers

and bamboozlers.

Contrast smartly

the superior gamesmanship of Chico and the boy

allowing them to extricate the harpsichord from the estuary.

The hobos condemned the blubber display

in the town square

while at the same time

admiring its primordial qualities

by stealth

At headquarters

not even Zeus, Napoleon and Trump

could restructure the postal rates

for the next fiscal year.

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

A compendium of rhinoceros blubbered pluperfect odes. Loved this line.

The poems are great but might I suggest you break them up into two or even three posts. Because of the absurdist take and historical allusions, it actually takes some brain power to get it. I found by the fourth one, my wee ole noggin was gettin' a floggin.

As far as being deemed mad. Your poetry will either have you deemed insane or a bore, you sir are no bore. Wink. I kid, but you get my point.

[rutherford]

Good point. Your reaction is similar to my wife, Eileen. She couldn't take the barrage of complex nonsensical words and asked me to stop before I could finish.

It's a compilation of phrases that I think of when I'm sitting in boring meetings.

[Pryde Foltz]

I think they are great but even with the finest wine more than a glass or two and you might as well be drinking Baby Duck.

[Pryde Foltz]

One at a time will be more impactful. My two cents anyways. And give Eileen a chance to regroup.

[OTownPete]

Okay Rutherford I am here to shamefully admit that all of this went righ over my grey haired dome barely making a touch and go. Your friend in words, Pete

[rutherford]

Pete, no shame here--this is pure nonsense and wordplay. Sorry for the word torture but glad you had a look.

[Tam Warink]

Well, I must say, Rutherford, old chap... I thoroughly enjoyed this one; one so many levels it's hard to know where to begin. I'll begin with the possibility that you may not know exactly what you've written or why. Would it surprise you to know that I think that I have, at the very least, a clue? When I read such as this I am compelled to insert certain portions of my psyche into the work. For example, the very first Portrait... in this, of course, I am the hermit. It all follows from this simple transposition of character and therefore of mind. After that, the remaining Portraits may be decoded. It is, in total, a message of peculiarly sophisticated intrigue; the reason is illusive because reason does not come into play often. No, this is more about assimilation and disgorgement of that which has been assimilated, consumed, and that which is of no further use discarded. But how it is discarded! Mon dieu! The best cast aside with such clever deception that there is treasure in the trash. Now, it is up to you to decipher this review in order to gain your true and just reply. Bon appetite!

[rutherford]

Tam, I was especially looking forward to your review on this one. I feel some level of satisfaction that you were able to insert your psyche into it here and there. And you're right--I'm not sure what I have here but the words come assembled to me when my mind wanders and so kept collecting them into six themes. Will think about your review. Great thoughts.

[Tam Warink]

"...the words come assembled to me when my mind wanders..." So, is that how you encode a description of alien telepathy? Heh! Clever little buggers, eh wot? ;-) ["Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" ~ The Great and Powerful Oz]