The Falling of Tears

What do you think? Suggestions for editing?

This day, unlike all the rest, was overcast and lifeless.

The legend began as most of them do,

with a girl and her father, an almost inseparable two.

 

It was in an era before nearly all can remember,

only these fables can enlighten us on how things evolved.

 

The story commenced before that rainy day arrived,

when this girl and her dad lived a most content life.

She grew up in the most powerful place imaginable;

a palace for supernatural beings and their families.

Her dad was the supreme ruler of everyone and everything -

no matter how big or how small.

He had created the earth and the ocean, the sky and the water,

the trees and the waves, the grass and the seaweed;

but what people see today on land

is far from what was seen then.

Before she was born, the trees and plants were bare, with not a leaf in sight.

Now with leaves, the world was left naïve and unknowing

since they had never experienced it in their life

 

But, nevertheless, as soon as she was born,

leaves began to appear on every plant imaginable.

Her mother and father first saw a rosy pink face

and quickly decided the perfect name for their child: Rosie.

As most tales go, sadness accompanies happiness.

On Rosie’s seventh birthday,

her loving mother unexpectedly passed away.

The two, father and daughter,

continued to live their lives,

always with a hole in their torn hearts.

 

As the years rolled on, Rosie and her father were always curious,

always pondering where the leaves had come from.

Of course, if one can remember,

her father had created everything else in the world.

 

Upon reaching the age of thirteen,

Rosie developed a new sense of independence.

She began to wander around the palace,

finding new alcoves and learning new things.

Even so, Rosie quickly grew tired of the confining walls.

She yearned for more experiences,

new things to learn, and most importantly,

her purpose in life.

As time passed, she plotted to slip around the palace guards and escape to freedom.

A few months later, her plan was finally finished.

Finally, Rosie was able to travel outside

and discover what her true destiny.

 

One night, after everyone in the palace was fast asleep,

she ducked under windows, tip-toed around doors,

climbed all the way up to the top floor, and then scaled down the building.

Such a dangerous task, yet her heart was urging her to do.

 

Rosie finally touched ground once again.

She began her voyage,

not knowing where it would take her.

She roamed the rolling hills and

walked through the open valleys.    

Days later, she came upon a small village

a long way from her home.

 

The day she encountered this town was that day of lifelessness;

that day of rain and gloom.

“Something feels different,” she heard herself whisper;

and even in that quiet voice,

it broke the eerie silence which filled the air.

The difference, though, she did not know.

As Rosie walked slowly into the town,

she noticed the emptiness:

Empty homes, empty stores, empty streets.

 

Then, without any notice, a wolf appeared.

His hair gray and shimmery, like that of an old man,

emanating an aura of wisdom.

His bright blue eyes were impossible to look away from

and they seemed to pierce right through her.

Rosie stared at him and he stared right back as his eyes pierced hers.

They experienced a connection.

It was as if they had known each other for years.

He seemed familiar,

yet they were perfect strangers.

 

Slowly, step by step, they edged toward each other.

 Out of nowhere, she heard a voice;

deep, like something out of a frightening story.

Rosie looked around, curious,

and then found herself again gazing into the wolf’s eyes.

The voice sounded again.

“I know you,” he said. “Do not be frightened.

To me you are Rosalie, and forever shall be.”

 

Rosie was scared out of her mind,

for why wouldn’t she be?

She asked the wolf in a stuttered voice,

“How... how do you know me?”

He replied in the same esoteric voice,

“I have known you since before you knew yourself.

I have known your destiny;

I have known we would meet on this day.”

Her reply in a voice shakier than before,

was that the wolf had not answered her question.

They continued their discussion in the abandoned town,

never moving closer,

never sitting,

never blinking.

 

Rosie found out that everything she had done,

her exploring and escaping the castle,

had been her destiny and what the wolf set out for her to do.

Confused for a moment, she said nothing.

Without voices, the town back to its eerie and silent nature.

What surprised Rosie the most were the wolf’s next words which broke that silence.

 

He said in the calmest of voices, “You created the leaves.”

Completely perplexed, Rosie responded,

“What.. What do you mean I created the leaves?

How can that be possible?” she disputed.

The wolf went on to explain how when she was born,

each tear drop any person or animal shed would transform into a leaf.

He had been sent by Rosie’s dad, creator of all,

to meet with Rosie and inform her on the importance she played in the role of life on earth.

The last thing the wolf told Rosie was that it was their role to travel across the world,

to tell every animal and human not to be afraid to cry.

That it is ok and would help the earth when they do,

and finally, to only let others know her as Rosalie,

for Rosie was a name no more than her family and closest friends could know her as.

 

One may wonder how the wolf had been sent by Rosie’s father.

After all, weren’t they trying to help each other figure out where leaves came from?

Reviews

[f**k you]

Wow. Such a strange story, but captivating nonetheless. I really did enjoy this. However, the part about the wolf's piercing eyes, you mention that adjective twice and it seems redundant. That whole paragraph, along with other stanzas throughout, seem kind of forced, or choppy....I don't know. I wish you would go into more detail of her mother, and why you focus so much on Rosie's name at the end...that confused me. Your words flow nicely most of the time, and the imagery was lovely! Keep it up!

-nicole-was-here-

[Deepshikha]

The end. The question. It works. It's not very poetic, though.
Some of the stanzas do read like poetry, though. The consistency of the line structure really helps with that. I think it would help if you put in higher, elevated word choice and sentence structure - especially in establishing a more poetic feel. Puritan plain style is nothing compared to Shakespearean description, you know?

[Hippy]

Her reply in a voice shakier than before
was that the wolf had not answered her1

that sentence left me a little confused, maby a little rewording would help, but i like and dislike the story, i wanted more reason than that the wolf was sent by her father too her but if he was sent by her father and he created the wolf then he would know why the leaves were there, but you probly got some other deep thought to that so if you do express it more clearly. i love the lesson at the end though its smart saying the tears help the world physically, in this sort of myth, which we know it helps alot emotionally and its very brave for one to cry in this world and your trying to make that easier bravo, but i think the wolf needs to be more important if he knows all, the way you write it is interesting but i like it it fits this myth type of story

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good story. I do believe some people can draw animals to them and neither have fear of each other. I like the story. You brought me in and held my attention till the last word. I like the complete story. You could expand the ending. Would be a powerful story with pictures. A outstanding story.
Coyote

[Deepshikha]

This is very beautiful, Rach, especially the last few stanzas. I won't deny that I kinda expected the ending, and that it reads more like prose and less like poetry, but it's awesome nonetheless. :D
You really should write more.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

You've packed this story with suspense and mystery.
We still had enough events to keep us interested.
Rosie represents a piece of us all. I can definitely identify
with the journey to become her own person.

You have a ton of metaphors and themes for coming of age.
The Serious undertones give this story the traction that allow
it to hold on to our emotions.