result

result

A Poem by Sadbh
"

my angry response to some thoughtless comment

"
Don't confuse 
My pursuit for nothingness with
Your pursuit for everything.

While our sense of fulfillment
At the end of these roads
May be similar,

They have arisen from two
Very different
Results.

© 2018 Sadbh



Author's Note

Sadbh
this is really bad omg, i really just slapped this down on the page cause it was in my head. its kind of personal, and originated from a comment my friend made that i responded to badly. once again, constructive criticism is welcome, but i have no plans for this, its just a jumble of thought

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Featured Review

Sometimes great poetry arises from the most unlikely of places/situations. What you have here, is not bad at all - not all poetry needs to rhyme. This has a message, this has power, it dances and sings, and it's profound. Don't cut yourself short. The first stanza in particular rocks, and the last stanza is a killing finish. My only suggestion is to put the "with" in Stanza 1 down a line (so say instead "My pursuit for nothingness/With your pursuit for everything). It's not advisable to end a line with a "weak" word, as they're called. You always want to end strong, and hit it home. Well done!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

It's really short, I mean REALLY short, and that is something I really like about it. You can read that it's personal, there is something hidden in it, an argument the reader is not fully aware of, adds some mystery to the poem. I actually really enjoyed it.
-Richard

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Depending on the result of the pursuit of the person pursuing... we surmise there may or may not be a fulfilling, lasting relationship developing :)

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sometimes great poetry arises from the most unlikely of places/situations. What you have here, is not bad at all - not all poetry needs to rhyme. This has a message, this has power, it dances and sings, and it's profound. Don't cut yourself short. The first stanza in particular rocks, and the last stanza is a killing finish. My only suggestion is to put the "with" in Stanza 1 down a line (so say instead "My pursuit for nothingness/With your pursuit for everything). It's not advisable to end a line with a "weak" word, as they're called. You always want to end strong, and hit it home. Well done!

Posted 6 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 8, 2018
Last Updated on August 19, 2018

Author

Sadbh
Sadbh

Ireland



About
18 and bored. searching for a deep abyss rather than a great perhaps. not sure if i'll write anything that isn't free-verse, but lets see where this takes us. more..

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A Poem by Sadbh


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A Poem by Sadbh



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