Chapter 1

( kay - uh )

C H A P T E R  O N E

Everything was bullshit.

The fact that Mrs. Darvin had been asking her the same draining and inane questions for about two years, the fact that Kaia's parents were giving this lady hundreds of dollars every month to basically put Kaia to sleep, and even the fact that Mrs. Darvin's wig was on backwards and her shirt was inside out. It was all total bullshit. And it infuriated Kaia to be a part of it.

"And how do you feel about all this going on in your life?" The sorry therapist probed, sliding her ruby red, square shaped glasses up her newly slender nose. The plastic surgeon had done a decent job, Kaia noticed.

"I feel..." Kaia raised her index finger to tap on her lips as if she was thinking before continuing, "like this is a complete waste of my time, like I tell you at every one of these sessions that my parents drag me to. I don't have an attitude problem, kay? People have an idiot problem."

Mrs. Darvin gave a few faint nods before jotting some notes down on that never-ending notepad of hers. "This is good, this is good. Go on, tell me all about how you're feeling."

Releasing a long, overdue sigh, Kaia sat up straight on the surprisingly comfortable couch and shook her head.

"You want it all? Like everything? Well, here goes. I am so tired of my boring, routine life and trying to bite my tongue for everyone. I'll say what I want, when I want and if people can't handle that I could care less. No amount of pointless questions you ask me every Sunday is going to change that. Also, with the amount of money my parents pay you weekly you should be more than able to afford a better wig which, by the way, is on my backwards. This is going to be my last session, for sure. I don't think I'll be able to endure another one without blowing my brains out, so...yeah anyway. Have a great day and see you never." Kaia stood up, plastering on a tight lipped, fake smile before rolling her eyes and stomping away.

Mrs. Darvin hadn't even had a chance to say anything, but the look on her face spoke for itself.

As soon as Kaia got all the way out of the suffocating office, the brisk and fierce Portland air hit her like a slap in the face. Like a pleasant slap in the face though, if that was even possible.

Portland weather always got this way around October. And we're not talking about Oregon's Portland, no. Kaia lives in Portland, Maine and it's probably the worst city in the world. In her honest opinion, at least. Everything closed at like eight o'clock, it didn't look like the city had been updated since the 1800s and it constantly smelled like fish and salt water. Kaia wanted nothing more than to just escape it all.

Being born and raised here and never having been out of the state, let alone the city, was really taking a toll on her. There had been so many times she'd packed her things, gathered all the money she'd saved and walked to the train station only to chicken out and go back home.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as she observed her surroundings. You couldn't go anywhere in Portland without seeing a bench of some sort. They were literally everywhere and this time was of course no exception.

Kaia walked forward a few feet till she was at the nearest bench, then reconsidered after realizing she didn't want to be so close to her therapist's office. She gazed on a bit further and to her utter, nonsurprise there was yet another bench. Once she reached this one, she promptly plopped down. There was more than enough space for her to sit crisscrossed, so she did, she found that position more comfortable than regular sitting, which many people thought was strange.

Her lengthy, flaxen hair wrapped all around her face, striking her in the face every other second, thanks to the wind. She knew she should be cold and rushing inside from building to building like everyone else was in the thirty degree weather but she just...didn't. Kaia honestly never felt more alive than on days like this, where she could literally get lost in the violent and unforgiving wind. She always just closed her eyes and became one with it. Today would be no different.

She shut her eyes, resting her hands on her lap and took a deep breath in. Instantly, she blended into the air and lost track of everything else going on in her fuzzy head. None of that really mattered at all. Kaia's ears rang with the sounds of random howling and moaning the wind was producing, a small and rare smile appeared on her lips. She'd never tell a soul this out of fear that they'd think she was crazier than they had already thought but it was if the wind, the air all around was trying to communicate with her.

It whispered her name fleetingly and softly, hiding itself behind the quaking and quivering sounds that the gigantic, orange and red leaved oak trees made. Kaia was completely consumed at this point, tuning all her senses in until...

A series of shrill rings broke her out of her serenity. Kaia's eyes slowly opened once more. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she released an irritated grumble as she read the caller ID. It was her mother. She was probably calling just to yell at her for walking out of her session, Kaia figured. Not wanting to hear that or even be bothered at all, her finger slid across the screen, rejecting the call and then she turned her phone to 'Do Not Disturb Mode' which fit her mood perfectly.

Turning her head towards the setting sun, Kaia decided to get up and make a move. She didn't quite want to go home yet, however, so she decided she'd go to one of the only people she truly loved and trusted in the world's house. She'd go to Raymond's house like she always did when she was feeling low. He made her feel better and it had been this way since the third grade.

Kaia rose from her position on the bench and zipped her jacket up a bit more before starting towards his house. She didn't really need to notify him when she was coming over, although it'd probably be a lot more polite. That just wasn't how they did things. Both would show up to each other's houses unexpected and without warning. As Kaia walked down the old cobblestone street and sidewalks, she looked at some of the stores who were already starting to close up for the night. She rolled her eyes at this. The time on her watch only ready 6:58 PM. It was ridiculous she'd been forced to live in this boring, decrepit city that was obviously only made and geared towards Senior citizens.

As she walked the familiar path to her best friend's house, Kaia heard the wind once again softly whispering her name. She kept telling herself that she should probably be worried because that wasn't normal, but it comforted her oddly enough.

It had to have been less than fifteen minutes before Kaia finally reached Raymond's house. She glanced over at the garage which had an 'A + R' permanently carved into it, the result of two fifth graders being bored and careless. They'd gotten in big trouble for it of course, and while Raymond's parents attempted to paint over it, it was still faintly visible. The second small, toothless smile for the day appeared on Kaia's face and it was even bigger than the last.

Stepping up to the door, Kaia gave three short knocks like she usually did and then stepped back, waiting for him. She knew he was here because his car was in the driveway.

Not very long after, Kaia heard the door jingle a bit before it swung open and Raymond's confused face appeared.

"Hey bea-," he paused and rubbed the back of his neck, nervously. "Oh, Kaia? What are you doing here?"

"I missed you, loser." Kaia replied, rolling her eyes and stepping inside the house. She took off her coat and hung it on the rack that the Perez's had near the front door before looking back at him.

Kaia heard a small groan escape his lips even though she was sure it wasn't meant for her to hear. Raymond promptly closed the door and then made his way back into the living room. She followed behind him, feeling the nervousness practically radiate off of him. What the hell was he so nervous about, she pondered? They literally did this all the time.

"Miss me, eh? We just saw each other like two days ago," He told her, looking over his shoulder slightly.

"Yeah...and?" Kaia muttered, suddenly feeling very unwanted and confused. Why was he acting like this?

As they rounded the corner that led to the sofas, oversized and incredibly comfortable recliners, and the huge flat screen, Kaia was shocked to find all kinds of snacks and beverages sprawled out across the coffee table. There were your normal, everyday snacks like pretzels, cookies, gummy worms, chips and juice but there was also chocolate strawberries, champagne and cherries. Kaia probably wouldn't have thought anything of it, but judging by the last three items and how strange her best friend was acting, she quickly figured out what was going on.

"Oh, my god...are you on a date?" She almost gasped. Kaia wore a small smirk on her lips and crossed her arms.

His face automatically turned a bright shade of red that she was all too familiar with.

"Ray! What the hell, why did you not tell me you're seeing someone? Who is he?" Kaia strolled over to him, playfully punching him in the arm.

And yes, she'd said he. Raymond was gay. Kaia found out when she caught him making out with some guy in the locker room in ninth grade. He liked to keep it on the down low but she really hoped that one day he'd have the bravery to come out.

Raymond was too busy rapidly texting someone to answer her question.

She rolled her eyes, grabbing a pretzel from the bowl and nibbling on it.

"Kay, I think you, I uh �" think you should leave..." He stuttered, lifting his head so that his eyes met hers. The tight and dark curls that covered his head, slid away from his eyes and he pushed them back even further with his hand.

Kaia nodded, grabbing another pretzel. "I will, I don't want to ruin your night. But not until you tell me who he is or at least show me a picture!" She giggled, running back up to him and tapping on his phone.

His hand was now rubbing his cheek and he shook his head. "Geez, Kay, this just isn't a good time, okay? I ju-"

The sound of a door opening and closing had disrupted Raymond's sentence. Both of their heads snapped in that direction as a face emerged from the darkness.

"Phew, sorry I'm late. Mom was giving me a lecture as usual. What are we-" She stopped dead in her tracks at the sight in front of her. And Kaia nearly passed out.

It was Jamie Yu. The third piece in the trio's golden friendship. Yes, all of them had been best friends for years and had been through thick and then together. Not as long as Kaia and Raymond had, but nearly there. The two had met Jamie in sixth grade, when she was the new, insanely smart Asian chick that everyone wanted to use for their own personal gain. They didn't let that happen though of course and they had her back, they've all been inseparable since. But at this point in time, Kaia couldn't have felt more confused or isolated.

The air was insanely thick with tension and deadly silent. Kaia heard Raymond take a huge gulp besides her.

"Um, what is going on?" Kaia asked slowly, turning her head back and forth between both her friends.

"Babe, I texted you and told you to wait in the car!" Raymond scolded as he walked towards her.

"Babe?" Kaia exclaimed, not knowing what to say or think or feel even. The looks on their faces and the scenario she'd found herself interrupting told her everything, but she honestly just couldn't believe it. "Are you-are you two...together?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

Jamie's eyes diverted to the floor and she looked defeated. "We wanted to tell you. We really, really did but we-we just didn't really know how or when was a good time to?" she whispered, still looking at the floor. Raymond nodded in agreement with a wanly expression on his face.

Kaia's mouth gaped slightly as she looked anywhere around the room except at them. She felt betrayed, even though she might not have had any real reason to. "Well, but-I don't understand. Raymond, you're..."

"Gay? Yeah, I thought so too. But I'm just...not. I'm in love with Jamie, and I think I've known it for a while now but I've just been trying to ignore it. I don't expect you to understand, 'cus honestly, we're still trying to figure it all out too. So." Raymond awkwardly stood on the balls of his feet with his hands behind his back. His face had been flushed for like ten minutes.

Kaia looked like she was frozen in time. She hadn't moved or changed her expression since hearing all of this.

"Are you okay?" Jamie questioned, raising a slender, black eyebrow.

"I-I'm just gonna..." Kaia trailed off, brushing past the two and grabbing her coat from the rack. She angrily stuffed her arms inside it, not exactly knowing why she was angry.

"Wait. Kay, don't go. We can talk about all of this." Raymond called from behind her.

"No, let's not do that. You guys enjoy the rest of your night though, and I'm sorry for interrupting."

That was the last thing Kaia said before opening the door and leaving her best friend's house.

---

Again, the air hit her like a slap in the face, only this time it was ten times worse. It was now exactly eight o'clock on the dot and the temperature had to have been about thirty degrees or lower. She held her jacket closer to her and started towards her home which was less than ten minutes from his house. Hence why they visited each other so frequently.

It was always eerily quiet on these streets, but tonight even more so. Her footsteps echoed and her breathing sounded overwhelmingly loud for some reason. The wind wasn't even calling her name and it upset her a bit, it usually comforted her and right now she could use some comfort.

Her "gay" best friend and her shy, chink eyed best friend were together. They were dating. They were in love. And all of this had been going on behind her back for God knows how long. None of this was adding up to her.

Kaia realized she probably sounded like a jealous girlfriend or something at the moment, but she really wasn't. She was just hurt at the fact that they didn't tell her, and who knows how long they would've tried to keep the secret going behind her back if she hadn't decided to visit Raymond that evening. The three of them always told each other everything, like literally everything. How did they think it was okay to leave her out of this one? Sure, she'd be confused at first but she'd get used to it. Those were two people she loved dearly so she couldn't help but to be happy for them.

She kicked a nearby rock as she walked and decided to sit at another bench to collect her thoughts before she went home and had to deal with her parents.

It was dark, and it was getting late, but Kaia didn't really care. Along with being one of the most boring states ever, it surely had to be one of the safest also. Nothing ever happened here. And in case it ever did, she was always packing pepper spray on her keychain.

Once again she brought her legs up and folded them, placing her hands on her lap. The air had been cold when she initially stepped out, but her body had already adjusted to it, and she felt the need for a jacket disappear so she took it off. People always thought it was weird how the cold didn't affect her as much, but she couldn't help it.

Eventually her eyes came to a close and she felt herself getting lost in her surroundings once again. This time it was different. The wind wasn't calling out to her although it was just as violent as ever and she missed it. She tried to focus in and bait it in to speak with her. Kaia heard the leaves breaking themselves off branches and then being carried away by the wind, she heard the waves softly crashing into each other and into the dock, she heard everything except what she wanted to.

She was about ready to give up and go home until a sound way to close to her for comfort nearly scared her out of her skin. Her eyes fluttered open and she gasped as a man set right next to her on the small bench.

He wasn't even looking at her, his eyes were straight ahead, and looking to something far away in the distance. His hands were stuffed inside his thick and long trench coat. This man honestly didn't look much older than Kaia, if anything they looked about the same age. She knew she should've probably got up and left, as this was probably the way all kidnapping stories started in small towns, but there was just something eerily intriguing about him that made her stay glued to her seat.

"Um...hello? Can I help you?" She asked him slowly, scratching her neck.

The man didn't move an inch. His eyes were still dead ahead. The only movement or indication that Kaia noticed that proved he wasn't frozen in time was him clenching his sharp jaw, and that was slight.

"No, probably not." He replied simply. His hair was a dark caramel color and it was loosely wavy, the wind had ruined any chance of styling he was trying to pursue.

Kaia looked around awkwardly, trying to see if this was some sort of prank or something. Maybe they were hidden cameras?

She cleared her throat and her eyes settled back on him. "Okay. So, out of all the thousands of benches in Portland, you had to come and sit on the same one as me? Way to go, creep." Kaia rolled her eyes before uncrossing her legs before scooting over as far as she could on the small bench. She was beyond stubborn at times and it was showing now. She was on this bench first, minding her business, and she wasn't going to let some random creep scare her off. Her hand was resting on the pocket that held her keys and in turn, her handy pepper spray.

The man's eyes were now on Kaia and his head was tilting slightly, as if he was reading her in every and any way possible. His blue eyes looked so bright, almost like they were glowing in the dim lighting provided by the street lights.

"If anything, you're intruding on me. I've been coming and sitting out here almost every night for the past week to relax and enjoy the view. I mean, you honestly can't beat it, and this is the only bench that is in perfect sight of it. Look," he said, pointing forward, where his eyes had been only moments ago.

She let her eyes follow the direction his finger sent, and she noticed what he was talking about right away.

It was actually beautiful.

In between the hundreds of branches of intertwined trees that filled the huge park in this neighborhood and past the other suburban houses that were on the other side, there was a perfect view of Mullen's Lighthouse. It was right there, not in plain sight, but if you looked hard enough you could see it. The rocky hill the lighthouse sat on was being hit with waves, left and right, but the light still shined back and forth to no avail. The dock was also visible from the bench, and that's where the waves were calm and less hostile. They sparkled, and the deep blue color looked questionably darker for some reason. The reflection of the full moon tonight was almost a mirror image on the water. Kaia had lived here her whole life, walked up and down these streets hundreds of times and yet, she'd never noticed this hidden gem. She guessed she just wasn't looking hard enough.

"Wow..." Kaia trailed off, in awe of what she had just discovered thanks to this stranger.

He was now looking back forward, nodding. There was a silence between, but it wasn't awkward. They were both just sitting in awe, admiring the scenery.

Not too long after, they both looked away at the same time, meeting each other's eyes. They held the gaze for a bit until Kaia broke away, looking down at the tumbling leaves in all varieties of autumn colors.

"I'm Declan, by the way." He held out his hand, only to promptly tuck it back away after Kaia ignored him. "Ouch."

"I really don't care. And I still think you're really creepy." She told him. It was a lie though, she already felt surprisingly comfortable and safe around him.

"Think what you want. Although if I was going to kidnap you or harm you in any way, I would've done it by now and no one would know."

Kaia smirked, putting her jacket back on. "You're totally not helping your case, dude."

Declan chuckled under his breath and nodded.

After her jacket was on and she zipped it up halfway, Kaia stood up and flipped her hair out from inside her jacket.

"Kaia." She said sharply, chewing on her bottom lip.

Declan looked up at her, a hint of a smile was on his full lips. He stood up too, and that's when she realized how tall he was. He was literally towering over her, but then again, Kaia wasn't the tallest girl. 

"Kaia...hm. I'd say nice to meet you, but I'm not sure my company was nice for you." Declan spoke softly, almost like he was whispering. His voice was smooth and melodic, it made her feel calm and as if she could listen to him talk all day.

"Good guess." Kaia stated, brushing past him on purpose as she started towards her home.