RAISING HELL

Sometimes we reach a point where we've had it up to here and refuse to take it anymore.

 

Mary jumped from her bed to answer the urgent knock at the door. Two policemen stood there. One of them said, “We apologize. It’s three o’clock in the morning, but Mrs. Paterson, there’s been an awful bad accident over on Green Briar Hill. Your son––”

 

“My stepson. What’s happened to Richard?” the old woman asked, dizziness swarming around her head. “Is he––is he all right?”

 

Trent, one of the two officers and a classmate of her son’s before Richard quit in his senior year, nodded to the other officer. “You tell her,” he said, but Delgado turned away. It was back in Trent’s court. “Ma’am,” he said, “your stepson was drinking, raising hell at the Caveman’s Club and––” Trent let his eyes drop down to stare at his black shoes in need of a shine.

 

“Go on. Tell me. Will he be all right?”

 

Now with some courage Delgado replied, “He’s dead, Ma’am,” and stood prepared to catch a chalk-faced Mrs. Paterson, but the old woman kept her ground.

 

She shook her head. “Richard’s dead.” It was not a question.

 

Trent nervously flicked imaginary dust from the policeman’s cap in his hand. “Drove his jeep clear over the bluff,” he said. “Ain’t nobody survive a drop like that.” Looking at her in the dim light of the woman’s apartment, Trent thought for a second he saw her smile. Grief’s a b***h, he thought to himself, then said, “Mrs. Paterson, we sure are sorry, then the two policemen let themselves out the door and into the street.

 

Mary sighed. Only the night before, Richard had decided to put her away in some old people’s home, take her from the only real home she’d known for so many years. She had prayed Richard would change his mind, remember the kindnesses she had shown an undeserving stepson. All those years she wasted raising that boy. Mrs. Paterson walked slowly back to her bed. Who am I, she thought, to question God’s mysterious ways?

 

                                #

 

Reviews

[Courtney]

Overall a good piece. There are a few areas that I feel need touching up. The sentence: "Trent, one of the two officers and a classmate of her son's before Richard quit in his senior year, nodded to the other officer." is a little too wordy. But I *love* the sentence: "Trent let his eyes drop down to stare at his black shoes in need of a shine." The detail here really shines through and lends strength.