The Rumbing Grey Silence

A black cloud hurled across heaven,

 

rumbling and billowing

a charcoal grey and black smear in the sky

 

hurling across heaven, yet frozen in place

still and silent in its motion

 

 

with a flash of light,

the lamp of heaven flickers in the sky

like a 50,000 watt lamp illuminating all

 

yet hanging in silence

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Afraa]

Damn. Very intense. Such powerful symbolizing. Spectacular job!

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you, Afraa! I can see that you connected with the sentiment of this poem! Feel free to read and comment on my other works as well.

[TL Boehm]

wow this is beautiful and ephemeral just like that lightning far off in a dark sky.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Good stuff. A lot like where I live for the last three days. Happy for a bit of sunshine.

[Samuel Pennell]

Thank you for reading! The sky can be dark and dramatic. Haunting.

[Blue]

Why is it labeled as "story"? :) I like the imagery, anyway. Imagine a "50,000 watt lamp illuminating all" :)

[Samuel Pennell]

What would you have labeled it? Modern "poetry" is so far removed from the stuff that has rhyme and rhythm (meter) that the lines are blurred as to what is what. The label didn't seem to matter much. If I labeled it poetry, people could have said "why doesn't it rhyne?" To me, poetry pretty much sticks to rhyme and rhythm, and a lot of my writing falls somewhere in between poetry and prose. I'm glad that you liked the imagery, though! Thanks for reading!

[rutherford]

i think of zeus and mt. olympus

[Samuel Pennell]

That is a great image, and it works very well, Rutherford. That is really powerful. Than you for reading, that is a great mental connection.

[Rene Velez]

I'm confused, don't get the idea or grasp of the poem, visual yes, but I see no meaning.

[Samuel Pennell]

There is no plot or action to it. It is a descriptive poem. There is not supposed to be a "meaning." It simply describes something visual. Thank you for reading, anyways, though.

[Rene Velez]

It's good just seems unfinished, there is so much you can do with it.

[Samuel Pennell]

Well, I really like it as is. I don't think I'd change it.

[Mark]

please don't change it! it would be like looking at a beautiful photo, then wanting the image to change... i don't see the point.

[Frieda P]

On ominous, yet enchanting read, muchly enjoyed.

[Dayran]

A light in the darkness ... beckoning ... or perhaps creating a point of inspiration. Nice.

[B-poet]

Loved the imagery as well as the eloquence you've displayed here. Fantastic work. A creatively fine & unique read. :)

[Susie]

I like the way you left scope for the reader's imagination. You speak very profoundly in few words. Well done!! xo