I Walked Naked Into A Cloud

Included within "I Walk Naked into a Cloud" Publishamerica. 2010 ISBN: 978-1-4489-7989-9

I walked naked into a cloud

That floated playfully upon the hill.

I was alone, there was not a crowd,

Upon the place of emptiness unfulfilled.

In silence I placed my wandering feet

Firmly upon the ground of defeat.

 

The waves of voices was far away,

For I could not hear them in this place.

I was content to be isolated in this way,

Perfectly alone without one angry face.

In solitude I opened my thoughts

To memories of pain that was brought.

 

I see now with mind so absolutely clear

The pattern of twilight that played so free;

The lost passion for life once held so dear.

I shivered with open eyes in winter breeze,

On this hill where the cloud surrounded me.

For this place was now where I would be.

 

I let the air perfectly entrap my mind,

My naked heart open in the pain it caught.

I will flee the hurt that has been defined,

And rush uncertainly into prisms of thought.

I walked naked into a cloud

Where whatever I wanted was allowed

 

 

Reviews

[Alicia Schroeder]

An insperational and inspiring peice, always great to think freely.. Fabulous write :)

[Amila Jay]

A beautiful write:)

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

it's obvious your thoughts are well-thought out

[stars are far]

This was so great :)

[Berkeley Street Writer]

This has a really powerful and strong sense of attaining freedom from all that binds. Being free to be what ever and do what ever you desire. I really enjoyed reading this poem.

[Manpreet]

Heavenly feel the opening is out of the world I walked naked into a cloud
That floated playfully upon the hill.
I was alone, there was not a crowd,
Upon the place of emptiness unfulfilled.
In silence I placed my wandering feet
Firmly upon the ground of defeat.

Takes you to another world and closer to your soul. Simply awesome!!

[Gordon]

Very good. Some of the rhymes to me seemed forced. Like I was waiting for the next line to see what rhyming word was used. So it was a little distracting in that way. Especially in the last 2 lines of each the first 3 stanzas. On the other hand, the last stanzas' last 2 lines are excellent:

I walked naked into a cloud
Where whatever I wanted was allowed

However, the concept of walking naked into a cloud is brilliant. There are many directions/interpretations that it brings to mind. Some of them you captured in great fashion. I feel like I want to write about walking naked into something... just have to figure out what. :P

[Sometimes Blood]

Nice! : )

[WhiteWillow]

Love the rhyme scheme of this piece, and the message is one of tranquility. A beautiful write.

[Maria.F.T]

I love it totally !