Smiled At Me

Published in "Nuclear Free Zones". Four Winds Press. 1984

She smiled at me

As I peeled my skin.

I winked in reply,

then kicked her in the shin.

Yes I did, yes I did.

I kicked her in the shin.

She smiled at me

while I ate her name.

I winked in reply,

then I became her game.

Yes I did, yes I did.

I was in her game.

She smiled at me

when I gave up hope.

I winked in reply,

then I tied her in ropes.

Yes I did, yes I did.

She's all up in ropes.

She smiled at me

when I pulled the plug.

I winked in reply,

and gave her my drugs.

Yes I did, yes I did.

I gave her my drugs.

She smiled at me

when I said "so long".

I winked in reply,

and then I was gone.

Yes I was, yes I was.

Then I was gone.

Reviews

[freelancejouster]

the repetition at the end of each stanza is something i'm just not a fan of.

[Murtuza]

A light and amusing tale, this. A great read. :)

[imagination101]

Love the humor in this little ditty!

[Kyla H]

A very quizzical write, it's alluring. I love the humorous tone to this, it keeps the reader excited and awaiting the next line. Nicely done!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Deep meaning in this write...

[storiestotell]

Nice humor!

[Kenneth S.]

Playfully dark. Very cool.

[Steph K]

This is a fun and effortless pice. The images appear vivid and the words seem to dance of the page. By dance I mean in the upbeat kind, almost jumping really. I love this piece, it is playful and yet has a deeper meaning inside it.

[SinnerInspired]

This is so beautiful You really do have a way with words

[TheElfPrincess]

A lovely rhythm, good flow and very interesting. A wonderful piece of writing.